Is it normal to be pissed when people think girls can be bi but not guys?

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21 Comments

I'm a 24yr bisexual male. I have found it hard to introduce myself as such because of the male stereotype that comes along with saying I am.

The first thing that is said is. "You can't be bi, your probably just gay and don't know it" However when girls confess that they are bi, people accept it most of the time.

Im saying in general, the people that i've met or read online or heard talking, think that females can be bisexuals. but when men say they are, they are just gay, and can't be bi.

So is it normal for me to be so pissed about this. I feel emotionally jipped when people just assume I'm gay when i'm bi. I really think there is a difference between the two.

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89% Normal
Based on 106 votes (94 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Ono
    12 years ago

    It's not unusual to get people either telling you you're 'confused' and you really are straight or that you're gay and you 'just wont admit it'. Instead of people challenging their own black and white view of the world it's easier for them to dismiss you. I've said this a few times on here, but there's a lot more bisexual people out there than you would think.

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  • DolphinAngel
    12 years ago

    Hmm since when do people say you can't be bi as a guy... never heard of it!

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    • PumpkinKate
      12 years ago

      I hear it a lot. Also men just don't really catch a break when it comes to liking other men. Lesbians are considered "hot" and gay men "gross" as a broad generalization, it's almost the norm now to assume a woman will be bisexual, and when you happen to be a bisexual male, you run across what the OP is dealing with.

      There are loads of exceptions to these generalizations, of course, but it still happens a lot and it's frustrating. As a bisexual female, people either assume I am so because I want to attract attention from guys (many do, which sucks for the rest of us) or they say I'm straight and confused, or a dyke that still needs dick, etc. etc.

      And the frustrations don't even stop there. Do you think a transsexual walking into a gay support group is unconditionally met with 100% acceptance? I've got friends who are considered freaks or disgusting, or they get told they're unable to accept that they're gay, by people WITHIN THE GAY/BI community! One would think that being persecuted would mean you persecute less, but unfortunately that's not always the case.

      Anyway, rant over. OP, it's normal to be angry about it, because it plain ol' sucks.

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  • Funone1
    12 years ago

    People are born bi and are programmed gay/straight

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  • Tehboss
    12 years ago

    you are in a weird place the people of teh gay can't accept you nor can the people of teh straight so it's harder to label
    personally i don't give a flying fuck and if you are of the bi good for you
    Maybe it just means you are not picky eh?

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  • Malaglinir
    12 years ago

    Everyone I know describes bisexual men as 'gay' whenever their sexuality comes into question. You usually have to say something like 'Oh really? He talks about girls too though...' to get them to go 'Well...I meant bi'.

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  • Truth_teller
    12 years ago

    No you just shouldnt give a shit

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  • ishitpandas
    12 years ago

    Pisses me off too

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  • pandabear1209
    12 years ago

    Actually most bi girls are called attention whores, ppl think their pretending to be bi to get guys attention. I think boys and girls can be and are bisexual, there's no rules on being attracted to only one sex ^.^

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  • Vampyra
    10 years ago

    I am a bisexual female. There is a gross double standard with people saying it's ok for girls to be bi, and not guys. Embrace your sexuality-embrace yourself. YOU know what you like, and don't listen to people who try and tell you such nonsense.

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  • kinda
    11 years ago

    i don't know but it is really harder to accept guy as bi
    (i feel he is gay and accept hem as a gay!) but i can accept easily a bi girl as bisexual (and it sound good to know) i don't know y i feel that it is normal for girl to be bi and strange for a guy to be bi or gay
    those(lesbians,gays and bi men) sounds strange to me
    that's how i feel But don't give a fuck.. your feeling is the most impotent

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  • Aubrecia
    12 years ago

    I am a bisexual female and it irritates me too. I know im lucky because more people accept me but i dont understand the difference. I think its very stupid to be sexists about being bisexual. I have two "brothers" who are bisexual and they get shit for it all the time. I stand up for them when they arent around. But it is normal to be angry, i am. Just like other people said, fuck what they think. Be yourself, youre special

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  • texas57
    12 years ago

    I'm also bi but I only tell afew people. I think I'm just curious though so I'm gonna act on it in college

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  • imisstropicana
    12 years ago

    bi now, gay later

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  • Shaung1
    12 years ago

    They are ignorant, they are not really educated and they choose to be ignorant

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  • Energy
    12 years ago

    Who gives a fuck what people think?! You don't have to explain yourself to ANYONE, but YOURSELF. So fuck them, and be yourself! And I, personally, never heard of people acting that way. Men being Bisexual IS socially acceptable these days. No worries. :)

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  • icy
    12 years ago

    Iam a Pansexual male meaning no preference for gender or gender ID. I have heard and that Bisexual men been told that there in bed with the "enmeny" aka woman, or that they are truly gay as Heterosexual males have said. I know how you fell, I just tell them to fuck off, beacuse they dont know what I find attractive or because iam not have sex with them. Bottom line don't give a fuck, sexuality cant be defined because it is a gray area.You are who you are, don't let any one else tell you otherwise.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Never heard of anyone saying guys can't be bi, I know a few bi guys myself. Makes me wonder why anyone would think an attraction to both sexes would be limited to one sex.

    Just feel happy that they are ignorant and you're not :)

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  • Solophonic
    12 years ago

    Bi guy reporting in, people don't question me further when I state that love/attraction shouldn't be obstructed by genitalia.

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    • geoffleopard
      12 years ago

      Not if you know how it all works anyway

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  • ishitpandas
    12 years ago

    The world is fucking sexist. Most bi girls r attention whores tho!

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