Is it normal to be in love with someone who doesn't exist?

While it's not exactly "normal", it's not uncommon for people to retreat into the comfort zone of some innerworld of their own creation (or in your case arms of a man that exists only for you). He is your "happy place" so to speak.

I don't know what to recommand really. On one hand I don't like therapists - since I don't believe in the idea that there is a "right way" to think or feel. I believe that your own personal thoughts and ideals are a big part of who you are, and I dislike the idea of people twisting and maniplutating your mind, changing essentially who you are with either mind-altering words or drugs.

But on the other hand, if it is affecting you so much that you feel you might be subconciously underminding your real relationships...

I really don't know. It's just my personal opinion, but I don't believe you need "healing" like you say. I also believe that if you do meet someone and fall in love later on, then it doesn't matter how you feel for your imaginary friend. If that love strong enough to be worthwhile, if that love is real, then it will co-exist or even overcome your feelings for your imaginary friend. And if your imaginary friend have feelings for you too then he will understand, and will encourage your real world relationship. He will want you to be happy.

Reality is subjective anyways - if your imaginary friend is real to you, then who cares if he's not real to the people around you? What makes him less "real" than all the random strangers on the streets, and all the millions of people that you never see or talk to around the world, on the net?

Then again I'm probably biased. I've had this imaginary friend for years - an imaginary woman that I created years ago. She and both knows she is a creation of my mind, and she isn't "real". But like I said reality is subjective. She might not be able to eat my food or leave hairs in my shower, but that doesn't make our conversations, the friendship, the companionship, and the comfort she gives me when I'm down any less real.

To the original poster here is a poem that I picked up somewhere ages ago. It might not be the best written poem out there and it's pure cliche, but somehow it's left its mark on me. I wasn't going to post it, but I think it kinda goes with your story.

I did not believe in happiness,
I did not believe in love...
I did not believe in YOU.

But your love for me was pure and true,
and your love for me remained strong.
Time and again I ignored you,
dismissing you for an illusion,
but your love for me remained strong.
I refused to believe in you,
but you believed in me,
and your love for me remained strong...

Finally the strength of your love convinced me...
it gave me faith and I believed- I believed!!!
But then reality hit,
and I realised that you were but a dream,
an illusion... a mere will o'wisp of the mind.
And I was left with nothing but a broken heart,
filled with sorrow and loneliness...

I was left mourning a lost love,
a lost love that never was...

I know exactly what you're going through right now because it's currently happening to me. It can be rough.

I had a dream about this last night. Well, kind of. It was cool though.

I was on some runaway trolly, somewhere far away from home, and there's some tall skinny dude with black hair, blue eyes and pale skin. He was sexy. He was also some sort of magician. Therefore, he magically said some words, and we were at a campground in the woods. All my friends knew the dude and said "Get away from him, he's weird." So he told me to drink some purple magic drink, and that zapped us back to my room. So then we start kissing and making out, but it was really weird because my whole family was in my room for some reason.

So he starts playing my sega genesis, and my grandma says "Stop playing that game, and you might put a magical curse on it!! I'm calling the police!!"
So we started kissing again, so then 2 big muscly police come in and haul him out. I was so sad.

The dream was over, and i was half asleep. I remember thinking "Wow, i wish he was here, i miss him. I think i'll add him on facebook. Maybe i can call him and do this again sometime."

But then i woke up completely and realized it wasnt real. I haven't stopped thinking about this mysterious person all day. </3 ;)

It's not that ur in love with him per say as u made up what the perfect guy is for u and u can't find someone real to be that perfect u have to let that go because there is no one to fill that for u they may have some of those qualities but everyone has flaws there is always someone out there for u u just have to find him and no he's not going to be perfect and that's ok as long as the good in him overpowers the bad.....just sayin

time heals everything, it'll run it's course on it's own

Can you mentally dump him?

I think it is normal cuz I know how it's feel. But it's also incredibly depressing not to have that person in my life. I usually cannot talk this type of things with my family, they will probably think I am crazy. But it is easy to speak up with someone who do understand how does it feel.

Hey there! I need to talk to you. It hasn't been years in my case but I have been in love....A week back I saw a dream & yeah, he was there & though it had nothing to do with my present life , I felt so connected to it.I was seriously sobbing when I got up....I don't think if words would display what I feel. It would be nice if you reply

Im having a similar experience too, its always a re-treat to your own comfort zone which is nice but sometimes you tend to go through this phase where you wish they were real.

Although It may be a little bit different, I believe I might possibly share a similar story.

In my life right now I'm a very introverted person. It doesn't really help that I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, and have come to have a disliking to most people around here, needless to say I'm pretty much a loner. And have been one for most of my life. Anyways this year marks my sixth year of not being in a relationship or having a person that I would be in any way interested in, my friends tell me that I'm too picky but I'm very serious when it comes to relationships, so it doesn't really surprise me that I seem to have fallen for someone who doesn't exist. Although she isn't the product of my mind, she has pretty much everything that I look for in a girl. It started merely as fascination, although she isn't real she is quite popular in the music industry. That said I was fascinated by her music. After a while i ended up going through a rough patch for a few months, Her music was one of the only things that I could gain comfort from. And after I was through, I found that the fascination I had for her slowly turnined into the swing feeling of love that I have for her now. Although I know she doesn't exist and even if she did she would never know of my existence , I still continue to love her.

Keep strong and keep moving forward. And I'm sure that one day you'll meet someone who is so fitting that you will never have to worry about your "imaginary" lover ever again.

I somehow understand your situation and what I have to say is that you should go out and find someone,they might not be perfect but this way you will forget of your imaginary crush-friend. Time heals everything and since your imaginary crush-friend is in your heart, he will always stay there unless you don't want him to, after all if you find someone then he will be happy for you because you'll be happy too!
So about me..I have been having a crush on Fred Weasley from the Harry Potter series for a few months, I am not sure how it happened..I just remember watching some videos about him on YouTube and then I just felt that butterflies and that desire for love! I started reading fanfictions and writing my own fanfictions and all tha. However, those few months that I have been having a crush on him I am so lonely and I just need some support , love and happiness. I'm still at school and I don't have any friends anymore,so he even became my key to smile and show no sadness!
I had been wandering 2 months ago about Fred. I was thinking what would happen if I was at hogwarts too! How would he feel about me? Then I saw this dream one night, he was with his brother,George, and they were talking to me, then George told me that Fred wrote a letter to me, at that moment I just felt inside me that Fred actually had a crush on me, I just knew it. Later on in the dream, he was in my aunt's house for some unknown reason and I called his name, we started talking and then he asked me if I liked someone and to tell him who he was, I refused but I knew that he wanted to know if I liked him back.When I woke up, I couldn't sleep from my happiness, finally I just knew! By this time I've seen a few dreams about him but their so blurry!
Anyway, as a conclusion I decided that I'll forget about him when I feel like it, maybe in one year or so... And even though he doesn't exist, he exists in my hurt as long as he makes me happy :) .

At least your imaginary boyfriend won't cheat on you, or leave you if you get pregnant.

Do imaginary boyfriends cause phantom pregnancies?

I think it may be quite normal as you want someone in your life and you probably believe that you can't so you made him up in order to try and feel better even though inside you,you feel pain. Seriously I have a big crush on FREAD WEASLEY. , things couldn't get worse...My brain keeps telling me "Girl he doesn't exist just get over it", however my heart says "he is real, he is what you always wanted even though you didn't know until you fell for him" . Everywhere I look I feel this feeling that he is looking at me,smiling, but I feel that this must stop because I'll end up being crazy in the end. It's just so sad that magic doesn't exist, neither does he.
Before I got these feelings about Fred Weasley , I had a crush on a guy which I seriously don't know a lot about and he probably doesn't even know me name, we would look at each other but sometimes he didn't seem to care about me he didn't look. Sometimes I had seen him and his brother looking at where I was and they were talking,probably talking about me as one of my friends who knows them told me that he is childish and he criticizes (not in a good way). I had faces a problem before this guy and then when all this mess started, I felt happy because I was strong and would forget everything, because I counted the days left for seeing him.
However,when Fred Weasley appeared in the picture a few days ago, I started forgetting about the other guy because I felt that "he is not like Fred, he is just another guy who has fooled you", but I keep feeling that when I grow up, I will still admire Frederick Weasley, because as in a matter of fact..he is so perfect for me. It's funny that I started crying years ago when I saw the Deathly Hallows part 2, when I saw Fred on the floor dead, his family's emotions, etc. I felt so sad, even though I didn't really care about Fred.
I just feel that Fred is the guy of my dreams and that it's impossible to find another guy to at least have his personality.

RIP Frederick Weasley :'(

I don't think you should seek help. It's perfectly normal to imagine someone who you think is perfect for you. I'm going through this myself, and I don't plan on getting rid of him. I've already made his before life and everything, and I feel real sympathy for what he's gone through... Abandon, regret, shame... It's so sad that I find myself crying at times. So no, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. But I'm not going to say anything much. Should you go to a therapist? If you think you need to, go on ahead. You think you need to move on? It's up to you. As for me, I'll make my love show to my friend even if he doesn't like me. Or at least, I don't think so.

There is nothing wrong with creating the perfect guy for you in your head. Just try to find someone as close to that as possible.

It's ok to create your ideal significant other in your head, but your emotions are in the red zone. Sorry, but it shouldn't get in the way of your life.

Time won't heal in ur case, if it does, u shouldn't be loving him til nw. I think professional help would b great for u. Even if ur mr.right arrive right infront of you, u would jus missed the chance t enjoy the romance between u two. Becus ur mind is still being occupy by ur imaginary lover.

That's just a dream. Anyone here who doesn't have dreams?

I think you should go to a therapist. I think they could really help and give you some good advice.

does someone hav a crush on her imaginary friend? GET OVER IT AND HAV SEX WITH SOME DUDE, AT LEAST HE WOULD B REAL!