Is it normal to be in a relationship where the two of you don't talk much?

29% Normal
6 Comments

Sooo I started to realize that my bf and I are in it for the long-run but as for the present, things usually fall off every now and then. Things could be great but then suddenly things go downhill and its usually cause of him. I try not to worry too much anymore ever since he hinted he sees a future with me. So I just calm down and try not to make it big deal but then I think is it even normal? For ex, right now he hasn't talked to me the whole week. This has happened before, but this time Im not as bothered by it so if its okay with me and him, it should be fine right? but is it normal? We're long-distance so I noticed that the way things are going now is we don't communicate much when we're apart cause we're doing our own thing but when we get together, obviously we try to make the best of it. So if it is normal to not talk to each other that much when we're apart, then things should be okay?

I don't know. He makes it seem like he wants a different type of relationship where we're committed to each other but we take it easy, not all serious. So then it makes me think him not talking to me sounds like he doesn't take me seriously but then he mentioned how he sees us in the long-run. He's never like initiated a break up so its not like he wants to let me go yet he prefers to take it easy like not talking to me for a whole week. Yes we're both in the middle of getting our life together with careers and all so Im hoping later we will be more serious.

Voting Results
29% Normal
Based on 14 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • rebeccakelsee
    8 years ago

    I say just ask yourself are you really happy with how the relationship is. Do you really want to be with someone you have nothing in common with ? Do you really want your marriage to be like this ? Is liking him a lot enough to stay in a relationship where you go days at a time without the other person so much as checks in on you just to know you're alive? I feel as tho everyone deserves a person that cares about them. Yes i know you guys are building your careers/ lives but think about it if this person loves you and values you they would make an effort to talk to you at least once a day or every other day. Think about the ideal relationship for you and ask yourself is this it .

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I dont know I have asked that and the answer is no, he is not the kind of boyfriend I want, and it's not the relationship I want or deserve. But I like him, in fact yes I am crazy about him I do love him, I care for him, he just happens to be someone I am not compatible with. I can be with someone who treats me right in fact I was, and I wasn't happy because I didn't like him. There was something missing, something in me that needed to be fulfilled and he just didn't do it for me no matter how great he was to me. So I told myself I would never get with someone again just cause they treat me well. I need to feel something for them. So with my bf, I do feel something, and its really strong, but the whole compatibility is missing. If I had to choose my ex or my bf with their existing flaws, I'd choose my bf. So to answer the other question, yes I like him enough to go through all this bs. Is it torturing? yes, but like the saying "I rather argue with someone than be with anyone else" basically I rather be with him, going through this crap, than be with someone I am not emotionally fulfilled with. So without any comparison, it doesn't really change the problem. I am still annoyed and miserable about the whole thing.

      But this is where my original question comes from. I know I'm miserable but like I said hes worth it, so thats why in a way I think it's normal or okay that were not talking that much cause in the end, well be together. But it can be not normal and I need to see where he stands. I can say this for sure, no matter how crazy I am about him, if hes not into me, then I'm over it. Not gonna be with someone whos not that into me. So who knows maybe this is just his personality and its up to me to deal with it or not or his actions portray his feelings for me and its for sure I need to leave.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Honestly, why would you even consider a 'future' with someone you seem to have so little going with? Unless there's a lot more you haven't told us, you two don't seem to be at all compatible.
    Are you just in it for the sex or are you so desperate for someone to care for you that you'll take any jerk who will have you?
    I know you realize that this relationship will fail, and you'll probably be left with a couple of kids and a dead beat ex, so why continue on this path?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Basically we just like each other even if were not compatible. Its taken us this far so either we rely on our feelings for each other and stay together or rely on the lack of compatibility and break up.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I mean there are some things I left out so its not like I have little going on with him but its beginning to feel like a different type of relationship, I guess the kind he wants: not be too close too intimate too serious...for now. I guess I'm gonna confront him about this and if he agrees which he usually does in a jokingly way, I'm just gonna get so fed up cause he can't take one conversation seriously.

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  • heckleBucker
    8 years ago

    How about body talk? Unzip his pants while he is watching television. Suck him off. It might interest him in you.

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