Is it normal to be in a relationship but want another man?

66% Normal
21 Comments

So, ive been with my boyfriend for 18 months. We were living together but for work reasons, we are now living 3 hours away from each other. I've been talking to another guy for about 2 years now, and have recently decided to start hanging out with him again because he is my good friend. Only recently, I have been having sexual feelings toward him. I will never cheat on my boyfriend but me and this other guy have so much fun together and get along so well, I don't want to stop hanging with him but I'm afraid that something might happen.

Voting Results
66% Normal
Based on 240 votes (158 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago | pl

    Stop in the name of love before you break his heart.

    Think it oh oh ver.

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  • mazgan
    11 years ago

    shitty gf u are.

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  • bella_x
    11 years ago

    At the moment, we are more like a married couple. When we are together we sit at home and watch movies and go to bed early. With the friend we go bush walking and to the beach and go fishing and actually do activities together... I love my boyfriend but things are just boring now, any ideas on how to spice up our relationship? I do not want to cheat and I also think If I leave him for the friend more bad will come out of it than good.

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    • likesToHarassKittens
      11 years ago

      I'm a 32 year old man I've had a bazillion girlfriends and am now in a happy defacto relationship for 6 years, here's my advice.

      If your boyfriend isn't adventurous with you anymore it's probably because hes withdrawn within himself.

      men do this when they have trouble saying no to a woman and the woman doesn't know what boundaries are important to a man and crosses them by accident by assuming that men think like women.

      If you want to keep a relationship with a man alive here are a few pointers I learned from my defacto wife.

      All of what I'm about to say ties into one key issue of the utmost importance to men "Freedom".

      1. Live a duel life. A lot of younger women try to build a life around a man. Men don't like it, above all else we value personal freedom. The key is to have two lives, one with your man and one with yourself. That way the man can have the freedom that he needs during the time when you are apart. Don't call him during this time or in any way attempt to interfere with his activities during this time. If he feels you are looking over his shoulder the whole time it's the same as having you there in person. Leave him alone and he will come home.....and fuck your brains out.

      2. Don't restrict him in ANY way. If you try to restrict a man you may succeed on the surface but if he doesn't leave you outright in search of freedom he will go into his own fantasy world where he can be free from restriction, essentially ignoring you (the source of his feeling trapped). Accept him the way he is or not at all. Your reward will be his loyalty and ravishing love possibly for life.

      Don't expect him to behave like a woman.

      Women like being enclosed in a warm cocoon, just look at a woman's house. Men like the open road, think motorbike.

      But the open road gets lonely and a man does want to be with a woman. But if he can't have both he'll ALWAYS take the road. Weather in the form of leaving you or just ignoring you.

      If you can give a man both, his passion for you will not dwindle. you will be the kind of rare woman that all men crave and you will have the power to keep a man passionate about you in the long term.

      pretty simple really but a lot of women don't get it, I should charge for this.

      Anyway, hopefully this might help you rekindle the flame with your boyfriend. If you don't learn this and you let yourself be seduced by the friend guy, you'll eventually either drive him away or he will morph into a boring guy too.

      It's not the guy it's the skill. Give your boyfriend sufficient time without feeling like your trying to control him and he will come back to life again.

      Heed my warnings.

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    • MilleBornes
      11 years ago

      Don't just leave your guy. Grass looks greener, reason. If you were to switch with anyone, that'll get boring soon too. Part of a long relationship. Bet, he thinks you're boring also. No, instigation intended or insults to either side, but maybe your "friend's" doing what your man did when he was just trying to win you over, which is, ANYTHING that made you remotely smile. Maybe your boyfriend wants to go or do something you expressed that you hated. He's out of ideas now and waiting for you to come up with something you both could enjoy. Hey, maybe small get togethers and orgies is what you need.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Well how are things going with your boyfriend currently? It could be that your relationship isn't what it used to be. It could just be the excitement of a new crush. Or you could be polyamorous, which isn't a bad thing but you'd have to choose between being openly poly or suppressing it for a monagomous relationship.

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    • MilleBornes
      11 years ago

      Yep! If you are polyamorous, DO NOT BY ANY MEANS pretend you're not. LOTS of arguments, repressed anger and whatnot, for honestly, no real reason, besides the fact that you feel disrespected because your other is happy. You want that, but you too should be happy. Also, don't use that as an excuse to be a whore. EVERYONE knows the difference whether we admit it or not.

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  • blueDolly
    11 years ago

    If you feel like this then you shoulkd leave your boyfriend. Don't cheat.

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  • Energy
    11 years ago

    I think it's time to break up with the old, and get with the new. If that's what you feel comfortable doing, of course.

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  • hybee
    11 years ago

    it's normal, but if you're not careful you risk screwing up both relationships.

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  • CloudyPachinko
    11 years ago

    Some of them just want it all don't they?

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  • hilarious1
    11 years ago

    It is normal for this to occur. What isn't normal is that it seems if you have feelings for this other person, it indicates you probably aren't happy in the relationship you are in. ALWAYS Make yourself happy :)

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  • i.eat.rainbows
    11 years ago

    ask them how they feel about polyamoury. i'm lucky enough to have 2 boyfriends, who happen to be best friends. its an amazing thing, so much love.

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  • TT22
    11 years ago

    Oh my! U probably fucked him already. Yes it's considered cheating u dirty little slut

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    • CloudyPachinko
      11 years ago

      Your insecurity is off the charts

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  • ygrowup
    11 years ago

    If you keep spending time with him, most likely something will happen, for you are really having a emotional affair with already behind your BF back it seems!

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  • EnverhX
    11 years ago

    If your having doubts about your relationship then you shouldn't even be in it. That's what I think. Your boyfriend (if he's a good guy) then he doesn't deserve to be with a girl who has feelings toward another guy. Not trying to be mean or anything but thats just what i think.

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  • MilleBornes
    11 years ago

    I don('t believe that we should only have sex with one person for the rest of our lives. Sexual feelings are just that. By all means do not cheat because that disrepects the other person. Hold off while you discuss, with your boyfriend/girlfriend (those who have them), about the possibility of either an outside-no feelings other than sex- relations or the possibility of adding someone to what you have. If you two are mature enough for that conversation then there should be no problem. If your boyfriend can't handle honesty, then f him...sorry. Live and have fun. There's only one life we get....supposedly lol.

    This has been Mr. Bornes at your service.

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  • quentari
    11 years ago

    Something will only happen if you let it happen. just tell yourself "no" and unless you have absolutely no self control whatsoever it shouldn't be a problem.

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  • Dalma
    11 years ago

    You're normal:)

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  • ANDYTREK247
    11 years ago

    You made your choice so just start a fresh love .

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