Is it normal to be depressed after achieving a goal

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8 Comments

So, I've noticed this thing about myself that my friends don't really understand so I figured I'd ask the internet. Is it normal to feel really depressed after getting something you really wanted and worked hard to achieved? The only two times in my life I've ever felt truly depressed to the point I didn't want to get up in the morning were after transferring schools (only 10% of applicants made it and I busted my ass for hours to get the grades and recommendations I needed) and after I landed my second job at a large bank that most people would recognize and be happy to work for. (I had stalked this job for months preparing and doing everything I could to get the job). In both cases right after I got what I wanted I was happy for a day or two then for the next few weeks, just paralyzed with sadness. Other smaller things have the same effect but none to the same extent as these two. So is it normal to get depressed after achieving a goal?

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77% Normal
Based on 30 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • kingofcarrotflowers
    8 years ago

    Whenever I achieve a goal I feel like shit once I get past the euphoria, its always followed by a feeling of what now? It's like I'd look to a singular thing like achieving a goal to give me happiness and when it didn't do that I'd take it hard, it took me a while to realise that I can't look to just things like that for happiness

    Of course you might have a completely different reason for feeling that way but I've gotten that way in the past after a goal too

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    • victorygin
      8 years ago

      Absolutely. I feel this too, OP. And my response is exactly the same as yours, kingofCF - just less concise haha.
      But it's true; you think "Once I achieve X, I'll be happy and everything will be perfect" and it just never delivers the happiness you thought it would. You're still exactly the same person you were before, so it's a let down.

      Maybe you feel even worse than before because you think, "shit, if this didn't make me happy..then how am I ever going to be happy?!"
      Well maybe that's just me, anyway.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        8 years ago

        Thanks for the replies both of you. For me its more more like, once I get X then I'll have Y and Y is what's missing in my life. Be it friends, respect, freedom etc. Then after I do X either I don't get Y or Y doesn't really matter as much as thought it would.

        The other thing too that gets me I think is that after the goal is achieved and the hard battle won, I'm back to my depressingly routine and boring life. I don't have anything pushing my or motivating me, and I just feel empty, incomplete, and like my soul has been crushed. I remember very well when I transfered schools being a 20 yr old man and feeling so depressed I had to cry which made me feel even more pathetic.

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  • mystery7
    8 years ago

    Take it from me, when you reach the top, there's nothing there and it's a lonely place.

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  • lightandlove
    8 years ago

    this is definitely normal especially after you put a lot of energy into this (maybe you just need some rest) or if you were achieving something for the sake of achieving it, rather than for an opportunity it gives you. Also, it might be a goal that you did not REALLY want and only achieved it because someone else thougt it would be a good idea for you to have it. Try to see this and future goals as some steps to a bigger goal, preferably something not roo materialistic: for example I am aming to become a better person and to make some positive difference in the world through my interactions with people. So, this is a life time goal, but i also have some shorter goals (like where I want to be in 10 years? in 5 years? in 1 year? what do I need to do now to achieve this?) This helps me to stay focused and to see my individual goals as a part of the big picture if you know what i mean...

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  • DolphinAngel
    8 years ago

    It's the human mind condemned to strive for something and after obtaining what we want, we take it for granted and need something else to strive for. A never-ending cycle of running after (pointless) wishes only resulting in your death.

    It's pretty sad when you put it like that :(

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I think that is perfectly normal.
    After finishing a particularly good book, or as you said, achieving something hard earned, I imagine everyone feels that way for a time.
    I'd achieved all my goals by 31 and that made it very difficult to pick a direction after that for many years, so I do understand where you are coming from.

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    • itsnotnormal4
      8 years ago

      You pretend to sail the world from your mother's basement.

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