Is it normal to be condescending and not know it?

46% Normal
25 Comments

Ive come to the conclusion that my bf can be a little condescending to me. He's smart and motivated which inspires me but sometimes he makes me feel not good enough. It sucks. Honestly I think he underestimates me. But if he underestimates me and thinks I'm not good enough then why is he with me? There are things he does that show me he is really into me and when I do ask him for advice he does say positive things. He's not like "you can do this! I know you can" but more like "if that's what you want then yeah you should do it." So basically, I'm just lost at where he stands. Maybe he doesn't realize he comes off this way to me? Which means he's innocent and doesn't mean to hurt me. But not sure. I know the best thing to do is to bring this up to him but I haven't had the chance. Plus, if he does look down on me, he's prob gonna lie and say no he doesn't underestimate me and I'm crazy. But if he's honest, hell telle the truth and to me, the truth is he does look down on me which I can understand why but it'd be better if he motivated me to be better.

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 13 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    8 years ago

    Kick him in the balls then laugh at him when his voice goes all squeaky.

    When he asks why you did that you should tell him "That is how you make me feel everytime you open your big gobshite".

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Talk to him.

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  • Steve_2
    8 years ago

    People often say I'm highly condescending. But I'm not. Your boyfriend is probably the same way. What he is saying probably just seems condescending to you because you don't understand it.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      You come across as not only condescending but also arrogant and totally lacking in empathy

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        8 years ago

        He might be a narcissist which funnily enough, I mentioned it to him and he shrugged his shoulders like "maybe i am." Ugh

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        • Ellenna
          8 years ago

          So why are you still with him?

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        8 years ago

        All of this describes my bf, how weird, unfortunately :(

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    • Fenrirr
      8 years ago

      bee my friend

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    If he doesn't care whether or not he's a narcissist maybe he is, so why are you with him?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      It's these moments where he is being condescending that kills everything

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        Now you're being melodramatic: if it "kills everything" why are you still with him?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          because then the positives come back again. The question is why is he with me if he thinks (from what I see) Im not good enough? is he possibly just using me?

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          • Ellenna
            8 years ago

            This is a standard pattern in manipulative relationships: nice then nasty then distant then nice and so on ...... keeps you guessing and keeps you hooked in there. Anyway, very few relationships are bad or good all the time and just because there are some positive aspects doesn't mean the negative ones don't outweigh them in the long run.

            If you're a better and happier person in the relationship then it's a good one even if not perfect: if your unhappier and feeling negative about yourself in the relationship then it's not healthy for you

            He may very well be with you because he wants someone who will let him feel superior to her: up to you if you want to continue to be that person.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              I am actually happier in my relationship then without it. Not in a clingy or attached way but let's say I have the option to hang out with friends or him, Ill choose him cause I just feel better.

              I think if he is with me with another motive other than cause he sincerely wants to be with me, I think it's cause I treat him so good. And maybe "his type" doesn't like him back. So yeah he's using me until he finally has someone he likes like him back. I am thinking this cause I can say Ive done that once but I didn't know i was "using" him. My ex treated me really good but did I really like him? No. But we broke up and I missed the way he treated me and we eventually got back together, thinking I was actually in this for the long-run but what I was really doing is just keeping him around cause he made me feel good about myself. So I feel like my bf now is doing that to me and kind of what you said, I make him feel good which includes feeling superior. I def don't want to continue if this is the case but the only way I can find out is to ask him why he is so condescending to me. And then from there, the truth has to come out and whatever that is will prob determine our relationship's future.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Because its just weird I guess to someone on the outside. He's not a bad person but he obviously has some bad qualities. Overall though, I am just crazy about him. He makes me happy. Its the chemistry that is making me stay.

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        Well if you want of those roller coaster relationships which swing from positive to negative, go for it. Personally I can't be bothered with that sort of crap in my life any more, having gone the roller coaster journey far too often

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Well this is my first time so I guess Ill be learning the hard way.

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          • Ellenna
            8 years ago

            Up to you

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