Is it normal to ask your ex'fbw' to break up with someone to save your friendship?

9 Comments

For past 2 months I was hooking up with my best friend and my flatmate. But couple of weeks ago he made out with a girl at a party which then I didn't care much about. However, since then he became more distant and tougher to be around so I ended up breaking whatever that was in order to regain the friendship we had. But then I learned that since that party he was seeing more of her and went to a date that same week that I broke it off and was being generally quite sad about it. That fact made me feel cheated and lied to and after hours of talking I ended up saying that while it is still probably possible to save our friendship I can't see it happening if he continues to see her. He finally agreed to not see her again however I feel very guilty for asking that but I am not sure what else I can do?

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Comments ( 9 )
  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Do you want to date this guy?

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    • kriste
      5 years ago

      No, he doesn't like me like that either.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Well, you can ask him to stop seeing this chick, but he's not obligated to do so. Why was he hard to be around?

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  • Nickvey
    5 years ago

    drama ? you did what you wanted to do. you were always going to do that.

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  • nikkiclaire
    5 years ago

    Sounds pretty selfish and horrible of you.

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    • kriste
      5 years ago

      Right but the fact that he was leading me on until he found someone better and then after finding someone else instead of telling me immediately and starting something great with her, he started to treat me increasingly worse in hopes that I'll catch on and break it off with him is absolutely fine?

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      • nikkiclaire
        5 years ago

        I guess I don't understand then. If it was a fwb situation, you weren't going out to begin with, so he didn't have to break anything off with you or vice versa.

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        • kriste
          5 years ago

          Well see it was "fwb" in reality we had never defined what it was nor what were the boundaries because we lived together and were best friends it didn't seem necessary. So while I felt like I was building towards something he wasn't. And that's actually ok. The thing is the other girl has come to represent everything that has gone wrong and I don't know how I could continue our friendship with that constant reminder. If that makes sense

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          • nikkiclaire
            5 years ago

            I don't know why she would represent what went wrong. The only thing that went wrong was not communicating with your best friend.

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