Is it normal to ask my bf what's his type?

79% Normal

Is it normal or appropriate to ask my bf what's his type? I'm honestly curious because I've seen his ex Gf , his fling, a girl I think he had a thing for and obviously me and were all completely different. We recently had a talk where he mentioned I lacked a few character traits he would like in a girl which didn't surprise me at all because throughout our relationship, there would be moments where he would point out some things I'm not so I figured I don't think I'm his type. So I directly told him I'm prob not his type and he said no that's not it but eventually he admitted it is. So now I'm just curious what's his type? I'm hesitating cause one it's obviously awkward and two I don't know how to bring it up. I would think he doesn't have a type cause all the girls I know he's been with are different but he just admitted "I'm not his type" so he does have one. It's funny how I have an idea what kinda girl I want to be for him but its probably not even the type he wants to be with. I'll either be shocked or disappointed at his answer.

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79% Normal

Based on 34 votes (27 yes)

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Comments ( 7 )

penisdump

8 years ago

So after the meeting he didn't give you an itemized list of character flaws for you to improve on?
Is that normal for him? It seems a bit unprofessional to me. /s

Why is he your boyfriend? He's obviously a selfish idiot.

- People don't have strict "types". Yes, they have general predilections but these are broken all the time, so
- Don't change yourself to try and fit his mental image, because;
- You're not going to reach that anyway, it won't even work, and you can't keep up a charade forever. People are most attractive when they are their best selves, not when they're trying to be someone else.

You're both too focused on what he wants. If he says you're not his type, tell him to suck a fart.
The fact that he knows he can say this stuff without repercussion means he has too much power in the r/ship, and doesn't appreciate you.
Break up with him.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  No he just said there's a few traits he doesn't like about me and I begged him to tell me what they are but he didn't want to say cause he said it would hurt my feelings. Hes not the type to express his feelings and thoughts so I was in a way to happy or relieved he finally expressed this so I wouldn't say he feels like he has a lot of power . I think it took him a lot to finally open up.
  
  But besides that, yeah I understand. I want to be the best for him and I've been in his position before where my ex wasn't my "type" and there was no way in gaining feelings for him so there was no hope. Im disappointed that he now feels like I did about my ex so in other words, there's nothing I can do to make him like me. He even said it himself that there's nothing I can do because you either have it or not. Is it possible to be with someone who's not your type but you're with them because you see how much they appreicta you?
  
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Poes

8 years ago

I personally think that you are over analysing the whole situation.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are unique! We are all created differently and should not be bothered as to what other people think of us, just be who you are!

If your arsehole boyfreind has an issue with who you are tell him to fuck off and find "miss perfect" elsewhere!

I guarantee you that such a person does not exist!Be happy with who you are, do not allow anybody to change your identity, the world would be a very boring place if we all liked pink sneakers and yellow socks!

I am 55 years old have been married to my wife for 35 years and we still agree to disagree about certain things in life. We both love each other very much but certainly have retained our own personalities over the years. That is what makes a good relationship work, people must be themselves and not full of hidden agendas!

Your boyfriend sounds like a self centered idiot who does not even know who he is himself!

Fuck him and find somebody who actually loves you more than he loves himself!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Yeah I know I think I would chase him away if I started trying too hard to be his "type." I can be the best version of myself and hope he likes it but like I mentioned in the comment above, its either I have what he wants or not.
  
  I just wish he can look through this superficial sh*t and see how much I appreciate him and get him and then stay with me.
  
  But you're right especially the last sentence. He's full of pride and pretends he doesn't care but because he's protecting himself from getting hurt. So he comes off as he's his priority then its me. I don't think he would take a bullet for me or is that asking for too much?
  
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thegypsysailor

8 years ago

Don't you know that curiosity killed the cat?
You are opening a can of worms here that can never be closed again.
Stop! Think! Proceed with extreme caution.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Im genuinely a nosy person and this is no different. I really want to know. I want to know so bad that I would be down to separate so I can see who he falls for next like "ohhhh so thats the type you like." I'll either feel enlightened or I'll feel good about myself lol
  
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  - thegypsysailor
    
    8 years ago
    
    Wow, that's a rather 'cut off your nose to spite your face' attitude, isn't it?
    Oh well, good luck.
    
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Is it normal to ask my bf what's his type?