Is it normal to always be able to tell if someone online is male or female?

76% Normal
58 Comments

I play a lot of online video games and enjoy going to a few chatrooms here and there. In my experience there are TONS of people that pretend to be the opposite gender. (Well, mostly guys pretending to be girls)

I've long since gotten over feeling upset or betrayed by this. I think it's fine and understandable and a relatively safe way for them to explore their sense of identity.

The thing is, I've gotten to the point where I can tell almost immediately with about 80% of them, and the ones who are really good occasionally take me a little more time. Sometimes I'll be sold, but then go back and read the conversation and go "Oh wait. Yep, dude."

I was completely and utterly tricked only once. Every other time I've called it in advance. Does anyone else have this sort of "6th sense"? Is it so common that others have picked up on certain patterns and can discern a persons gender online quickly?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 68 votes (52 yes)
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Comments ( 58 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I think it's obvious what I am. I don't see the point in pretending. XD

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    • PumpkinKate
      12 years ago

      Pfft, sure, whatever, MISTER Sorel.

      xD (kidding!)

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        XD Naturally, Sir Pumpkin! XD jk as well :)

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        • PumpkinKate
          12 years ago

          Does this make me the Pumpkin King??? Because that. Would. Be. AWESOME!!!

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          • [Old Memory]
            12 years ago

            Of course! :D Just don't bring a nightmare before Christmas! XD

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    • dappled
      12 years ago

      A cat? :P

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Meow! :3 And noooo, I'm not a cat... ooh look, look yarn! XD

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        • dappled
          12 years ago

          "gol", because that genuinely made me giggle out loud. :D

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          • [Old Memory]
            12 years ago

            Yey! :D Maybe I should chase the yarn and then it would be funny and adorable :3 jk XD

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            • dappled
              12 years ago

              If you film something of you getting all goggle-eyed and clawing at yarn, that would quite probably make my Christmas. :P

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  • WhiteCrow
    10 years ago

    Well, I don't have a 6th sense like that. Mines more like somthing of what real people I see in real life are a fan of. I'm a writer, so this helps. (I will not publish my books.)

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  • DefinitelyNotNormal89
    12 years ago

    Everyone thinks I'm male, not sure how offended I should be by this? Everyone on online gaming also thinks I am male, the amount of insults I receive is ridiculous...until I put my mic on and people can hear my little girly voice, then men couldn't be nicer to me (pricks)
    I think with online gaming it's safe to assume everyone's male because it is very male orientated but with IIN I am absolutely awful at telling genders (as well as races, age etc.) so I have to admit, I would love your ability to tell the difference!

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    • dappled
      12 years ago

      I've seen you dance. You are not male. You actually can dance. Kind of well. :P

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      • DefinitelyNotNormal89
        12 years ago

        Lmao this sounds so wrong! I have to say Sheldor, not many people appreciate my dance skills so any future dancing shall be dedicated to you!

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        • dappled
          12 years ago

          In the cold light of day, it does sound very wrong. I want to assure anyone reading this that it was... indeed very wrong. :P

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          • DefinitelyNotNormal89
            12 years ago

            LOL! Oh Sheldon we are just wrong in all the right ways!

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  • nicemason
    12 years ago

    not that complex, some people do that for fun, and then its obvious, and the others would be trying to be legitmately girls but since their dudes they'll trip up.

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  • alv1592
    12 years ago

    It's easy for me to tell someone's gender sometimes by the way they type. Hard to explain but males and females have different ways of speaking/writing. I'm pretty sure everyone here can tell by now that I'm a lady.

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  • dappled
    12 years ago

    It'd be interesting to know whether you could pick my gender if you didn't already know it. More often than not, people pick it wrong in games. There are plenty of people on IIN who said they thought I was female too. Actually, I'd even just be curious to know why you think so many people get it wrong for me.

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    • bananaface
      12 years ago

      You seem too nice to be male:P When I first started using IIN and I'd seen some of your posts, I tried to work out what gender you were, and it took me ages to work out that you were male:L

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      • dappled
        12 years ago

        Hehe, my friends tell me I'm going to have to start being meaner to people. I just don't want to, though. It's not in me.

        Took me about three posts to work out your gender. Which probably means you are more normal than me. :P

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        • bananaface
          12 years ago

          Don't be meaner:L And my earlier posts probably made it easier to guess my gender since I was 15 I think, so most of my comments would be something you'd expect from a 15 year old girlD: I wish I'd joined this site later.

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          • dappled
            12 years ago

            If it makes you feel any better, I was surprised when you put your age in your profile. I had you down as early twenties. Take that as a compliment, I guess. :)

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            • Flippin-dillydogs
              10 years ago

              Hi dappled. ;D

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            • bananaface
              12 years ago

              Wow thanks...?:D

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    • PumpkinKate
      12 years ago

      I thought you were female at first because I checked your information and you had something up about protecting the environment which I basically went "TLDR, hippy-chick."

      ...I got as far as "soil erosion".

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      • dappled
        12 years ago

        Yeah, I really couldn't think about what to do for my profile this month, so I went back to a familiar theme for me. I suppose you'd imagine women care more about the environment because they're more nurturing. I don't think it's uncommon for men to care too, though.

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        • PumpkinKate
          12 years ago

          Again, it's unfair profiling based on subconscious stereotypes... our brains do it in a fraction of a second without us even having any control over it.

          I'm happy that you care, honestly, and I think men care about the environment as well, but that's my whole brain at work, not a split-second process.

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          • dappled
            12 years ago

            What's funny is that people have thought I was female because I talk about feminism, gay because I don't like homophobia, black because I talk about racism, and overweight because I don't dish out hate to fat people. It says something that - to most people - to care about something is very unlikely unless you personally are suffering. I find it very easy to be empathic which I think gets me flagged up as a female.

            On a final note, my username is also kind of female sounding and comes from a poem written by a female to another female. I guess it's not the kind of thing a guy would identify with. I don't deliberately choose to display any female characteristics. I just have them and don't hide them.

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  • flutterhigh
    12 years ago

    Recently it came to my attention that several people couldn't tell my gender. I think it's pretty obvious (I don't really make an active attempt to hide it), but I was amused by the confusion.

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    • bananaface
      12 years ago

      I thought you were a female until you wrote on a post saying you were male:)

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      • flutterhigh
        12 years ago

        Wait, when did I say I was male? And anyway, I've also claimed to be female.

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        • AngAnders112
          12 years ago

          I recall a rather long comment you made several months in response to another comment by I think Dappled that seemed to upset you. In it, you mentioned things like guy, college, 23, playing guitar ... or something like that. But now I wonder if I'm just confusing my memories with one of my fantasies.

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          • flutterhigh
            12 years ago

            That's true, I said I was studying at NYU, and that I had a dog named Cat, among other things. Good memory.

            Personally, I'm not really averse to discussing my personal life, I just never really found the need to divulge such irrelevant information.

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        • bananaface
          12 years ago

          You said you were a 21 year old male student?

          I'm confused againD:

          Which are you?

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    • Shackleford96
      12 years ago

      So you're a guy! The name was definitely what threw me. I will try not to make that mistake again in the future.

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      • flutterhigh
        12 years ago

        When did I say that?

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        • Shackleford96
          12 years ago

          When did you not?

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          • flutterhigh
            12 years ago

            Almost constantly? Right now?

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            • Shackleford96
              12 years ago

              Lol, yeah you never did but I was just trying to counter your question... It seems that I failed though.

              Fine, I accept that you are not going to reveal your gender.

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    • PumpkinKate
      12 years ago

      Your name sounds like butterfly. Girls like butterflies. Guys don't.

      ^ I know this sounds simplistic, and like I'm joking - but I'm dead serious. I would wager this is 90% of the reason people assume you're female. Add to that any "flags" I listed above.

      I'd explain in detail, but just read "Blink" by Malcom Gladwell.

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      • flutterhigh
        12 years ago

        No I understand. I'm not a huge Gladwell fan, but I have read Blink and consider myself an outlier, I suppose.

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  • PumpkinKate
    12 years ago

    I didn't mean to imply I could tell by a couple random sentences xD I'm not THAT good. It usually involves *interacting* with the person.

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  • davesumba
    10 years ago

    Yep. Males are usually fun and easy going, females are usually up tight bitches.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Mind explaining how it is you know? It might benefit a lot of people on this site.

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    • PumpkinKate
      12 years ago

      Basically there are some differences between the way guys and girls write, the way they think, the way they act and react, what knowledge they have, and so on and so forth. None of these are set in stone, of course, but basically it's pattern recognition.

      Every time a single tiny little thing points to what I have learned to be a "male" or "female" behavior, my subconsciously flags it. Let's say (to be cliche) a pink flag for female, and a blue flag for male.

      I flag things (without thinking about it consciously) based on my experience with the two sexes, and from what I've observed during spending time online.

      One tiny flag is never a clear indicator, but the more time I spend talking to someone, the more those tiny flags start to pile up. After enough time if I'm sitting there looking (figuratively) at a huge pile of blue flags, with only a few pink ones sitting next to it, the "girl" I'm talking to is most likely a guy. Sometimes it's painfully obvious. Other times it's not.

      I haven't found out for certain with each person I've ever talked to, but a huge amount have either told me, or I called them on it, etc. and I've found my accuracy is roughly around 90-95%

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Your observation skills sound impressive. I like the way your mind functions. May I ask, what gender do you think I am? Or do you need more information?

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        • PumpkinKate
          12 years ago

          As said below, I'd probably have to at least interact with the person some. If I had to throw out a random guess I'd say "male" but that's mostly based on statistics, not observation.

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          • bananaface
            12 years ago

            So what sort of things give it away? Are there certain words that males say more often or something, I'm really curious now:D

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            • PumpkinKate
              12 years ago

              Well... it's hard to list everything, since a lot of it is subconscious thought, but... I can give it a shot. Please don't be upset if any of this sounds sexist or like profiling (because it is! why *wouldn't* it sound like stereotypes?). I know not every one is going to be true, but that's why it's a multiple flag system.

              Guys tend to:
              -Care more about their spelling / punctuation in the beginning, but become more slack with it later on.
              -Are more prone to describing emotions briefly
              -More often type "lol" than "haha, that's funny!" (and other similar things)
              -Tend to be more pushy (This is a HUGE giveaway. Girls are rarely pushy)
              -feel awkward when 'girly things' are blatantly mentioned (periods, birth control, discharge, etc)
              -are more straightforward with what they desire
              -are less straightforward about how they feel
              -usually have a 'breaking point' when it comes to inane gossip (sooner than women)
              -generally don't use proper punctuation, capitalization, and grammar (and when they do, there tends to be more of a sense of "superiority" than personal integrity)
              -don't shy away as much when asked sexual questions
              -often preemptively ask sexual questions
              -usually aren't typing as many words as women (I look through text logs sometimes and notice I say tons of shit, and they just drop 1-2 sentences between my paragraphs xD)
              -are more inclined to "prompt" conversation, than to desire responding at length
              -ask more questions, and freely offer less information / thoughts / etc.
              -don't know how to answer questions about things girls usually keep to themselves or share with other girls
              -are more visual regarding sexual things (send pics! or: look at my pics!)
              -are less visual regarding concepts and theories
              -boldly state opinions
              -are less apologetic
              -value logic more highly, and emotion less so
              -talk about sex more frequently

              Again, I'm SORRY!!! if you or anyone who reads this is offended! It's not meant to be a clear, "this happens 100% of the time!" list. They are generalizations, and some probably seem unfair.(They are, but that's how it works) I take each person individually :) And I don't begrudge female impersonators. Hope that helps!

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