Ask Your Question today
Pretty straightforward: is it normal to at first look up to someone and admire them, because you admired their good qualities, but then over time, became jealous of them because you wish you had those same, good qualities?
Right now that old movie Single White Female comes to mind...Eww!
*shudders*
Aw yeah, all too painfully relatable. I hope you don't take it out on them or anything though.
It's normal to admire someone and then realize that you want their qualities, but that just hinders you from realizing how unique and talented you are. You're cool too :D
Everybody can change. If there are things you don't like about yourself, then change them. But being jealous is silly; it gets you nothing good.
Jealousy of a friend has negative connotations. Are you sure you're not just envious of them? Envy implies less psycho intentions.
It's more like admiration -> envious -> jealousy.
Like, to the point where I hate myself to not being more like them.
Alright. Well, jealousy is a primal emotion meant to alert us to threats of infidelity and disloyalty so that we can act upon them before we lose a special person to someone else. So you have to feel that you are going to lose out, at least to some degree. Since you went from admiring this person to feeling jealous of them, you maybe feel that they have qualities that will either cause them to leave you behind, or have an advantage with others over you because of how they are. I'm guessing it's the latter?
Hating yourself for not being more like them will never make you more similar to them, unless of course they hate themselves too. This is because hating yourself for not being like someone else is like a festering sore in your mind that will rot and erode your personality until you've turned into a villain. So that's why you should try to stop this madness; it leads to no good and will only cause you pain.
Now in order to stop, you'll need to understand that most everyone has some appealing qualities to their personality and some unappealing ones too. Occasionally there are a few people who have qualities that make them stand out more than the next person, but that doesn't mean they are superior to the rest of us. The rest of us are interesting because we are a refreshingly complicated balance of good and bad qualities. And you'll notice that even the dickholes of the world are able to make friends and have people like them. This is because they too are not solely their negative qualities, and their positives traits are appreciated that much more when they shine through the murk. I mean, there are a few examples of that on this website, don't you think?
What I'm trying to say, is that there is room for everyone to be fabulous and appreciated by others. The right people will see the sparkle in you and understand how to appreciate your depth. You just have to let go of the self-hate and self-pity because these are your true kryptonite; but, these things are not part of your personality, they are things that you can control.
Sorry, this was outrageously long.