Is it normal this unexpected death still affects me?

87% Normal
8 Comments

In December of 2011, my fiance and I were woken by his mother (visiting for Christmas) screaming "Help I think Ryan (my fiance's older brother who lived with us) is dead!" We ran down stairs in horror to find his body lying face down on the floor, cold and pale. I held his mother as she screamed, sobbed, and continuously struck the tile beneath us. None of us have gotten the closure we so desperately need, which might be my problem. See, he was only 29 but the coroner said his body and organs were totally healthy. She explained her theory which was that his brain turned off like a light switch instantly causing him to drop dead where he stood. Ever since that morning, I have had a terrible time trying to sleep at night. On better nights it Will take me hours to fall asleep, as I can't stop the very vivid flash backs to his body and the way his mother was screaming. Other nights I cannot sleep at all. I guess what I'm asking is- is it normal to still be so broken up that I am on the verge of total insomnia?

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87% Normal
Based on 71 votes (62 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    thats shocking , sorry to hear for you and the family

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  • u8mysis
    8 years ago

    I lost a brother 23 years ago or was it yesterday and it still seems like tomorrow will be the burial so I say you are just feeling the pain that will take years to heal. I am sorry for you loss.

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  • Tris18
    11 years ago

    You may have had feelings for him. Or you just remembered that tramatic event. It is really hard to forget somthing like that im sure.

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  • losingfaithinhumanity
    11 years ago

    I'm going to call the same therapist my fiance's mother sees on Monday. He seems to be helping her get through. So thank you all very much!

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  • mpiparanormal
    11 years ago

    BLESS YOU....and my blessings to you....That had to be traumatizing....Let me try and research this a bit.....If we don't connect, well, I hate to give you the generic advice, but that way you're not left hanging. This is likely an issue that a pro can help with. A licensed therapist would be a good start

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  • ProseAthlete
    11 years ago

    That's horrifying. I'm with Splashy; condolences to you and yours. That poor woman; I cannot imagine much worse than finding a child dead suddenly.

    I don't know that it's normal, precisely, to still be so rattled by an event over a year ago. Not to say that it's abnormal, but your trauma may have developed into a kind of anxiety disorder for you. The fact that you find the thoughts of the event intrusive and impossible to switch off might also be PTSD. Counseling may help.

    For what it's worth, I've been through some pretty traumatic events too, and it does get easier to handle, especially if you talk to someone about it.

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  • americanhoney
    11 years ago

    I'm so sorry to read this. I suggest some counseling for you - it's been a year - these things take time, but it seems you might need a bit of professional help in dealing with these flashbacks.
    I hope you find the help you seek and are comforted soon.
    Best of luck.

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  • losingfaithinhumanity
    11 years ago

    Thank you.

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