Is it normal the way l think and am?
I have an odd way of thinking; I can think of up to five things at once and the way I organize them in my mind is by tabs. I have found in explaining this that it's easiest to relate them to tabs on the Internet. You can open a new one and still keep the others open, but you mainly use one at a time. I can remember too easily what my other tabs were once I close another. Also, I think in lines; I cannot refrain from imagining little strings attached to everyone's feet, and as they walk, they leave more and more of that string behind.
Also, I hear noises, see people who aren't actually there, and think of everything as being alive. For example, when I was younger, I had a crappy laptop and when it finally died and stopped working altogether, at first I thought of taking an axe to it as a fun activity. So I asked my mother's permission and she said "It's dead, what do I care?" So I put the laptop on the driveway and grabbed a crowbar...but I couldn't hurt it. I couldn't do a thing to it. Eventually, my friend came and got it started, and I was able to get into it for a little bit (the laptop was thoroughly destroyed) but I was traumatized by the incident afterward. It felt like I'd blown off the chance to save a life, but it was an inanimate object.
As for the people and noises, I talk to the people. They're my friends. I'm an aspiring author, and whenever I think up a new character, I start to see him/her. The noises are things like occasionally noticing that everything sounds as if I was underwater, everything sounding far off and diluted, and strange clicks in my ear as if someone were there snapping their fingers.
Lastly, I'm so paranoid. I imagine threatening things are happening - but later, I always realize, 'Okay, hang on - that never happened!' And yet, I put myself under these delusions all the time.
For instance, once when I was somewhere around thirteen or fourteen I was home alone because my father was in Afghanistan and my mother had to work. A paranoid breakdown was the exact thing I hoped to specifically avoid, so I tried to make the environment in my room as cheerful as possible. I opened my blinds and windows, turned on the TV at a low volume (though I wasn't paying much attention), started brushing my hair, and burst into song.
Soon after that, I received a call on my cell phone from a number I didn't recognize. I hadn't heard it go off, however, so the caller left a voicemail. When I listened to it, I could have sworn it was a recording of my own singing - the same song and everything.
Looking out my window, there were bushes thick enough for someone to hide in.