Is it normal that the abuse is affecting me this much?

85% Normal
4 Comments

Hi there!

I'm 24, and I live with my half brother. He's 51. He sexually abused me when I was 22, by forcing me to give him a handjob. Worst of all, he acts as if he's done nothing wrong. He seems to think that I enjoyed it, even though I clearly shook my head, ''No'' and I was also trying to pull my hand away. He didn't listen. No, instead he took complete advantage of the fact that I was extremely vulnerable at the time and he knew very well that I couldn't stand up for myself, not even if I wanted to.

I did go along with what he wanted from me, but that was after I had failed to pull my hand away, and I HATED every second of it. Not only did he want me to give him a handjob, he also laid me down (gently) on my bed and he put his d**k between my knees until he finished. I laid there like a lifeless doll. I was so uncomfortable and I didn't know what to do. After it was finally over, I went into the bathroom and I took a shower. I just felt so disgusting.

He had NEVER had ANY sexual contact with a woman before me, and I feel that he used me as his little sexual experiment that night.

It deeply hurts me that he would treat me that way and I'm struggling to forgive him. Recently, I've been crying non-stop about it and I've also been having thoughts of hurting myself. I have a lot of anger toward him, and I fight with him a lot because of it. He's always asking me why I have such a bad attitude toward him, but I never tell him, as he should already know why. If not, then he's an idiot.

Is it normal that the abuse is affecting me this much even though it happened to me as an adult?

Thanks in advance

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 27 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • ZaneT
    7 years ago

    Love yourself enough to get away from that manipulative perverted twisted man. Do not entertain ideas of self harm because of what he did to you. It was not your fault so do not feel guilt or blame or shame, be strong. Ultimately, He knows exactly what he has done to you but does not care, get out of there!

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  • bubsy
    7 years ago

    I wouldn't consider you an adult, or at least not a very smart one. Get out of there and away from him, ASAP.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Why are you living under the same roof as your piece of shit half-brother? If the statute of limitations has not yet run out then call the police and press charges against that troll for sexual assault! It is beyond weird that he has never had any contact with a woman seeing as he's hella old. I'm wondering if he has a mental condition, I bet he probably does, but that's no excuse.

    I seriously think you should call the cops, and press criminal charges against your half-brother! Be brave, do the right thing to avenge your suffering, and show no mercy!

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  • Hisoka
    7 years ago

    You shouldn't let people manipulate you like that. Maybe try seeing a therapist or talk to someone in confidentiality so you have someone to talk to. It's really important to talk it through, even if it's painful. In the meantime cut off communication with your brother, as much as possible. It is a toxic relationship. Bless

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