Is it normal that my wife suffers from depression and has separated from me?

My wife became very depressed when her mother died and our children were born shortly afterward. I must admit that I wasn't a knight in shining armor because I, myself was coping with the loss of her mom and the arrival of twins.

For the first year of the kids lives she was in an unbearable depression and since we have no families, she mostly handled it alone because I have to work long hours to support us all.

Seeing her so sad and lifeless all of the time took its toll on me and I started drinking a little more... at night when everyone went to sleep so I wouldn't bother anyone. She had a problem with this, but it was all I could do to keep from going mad.

Then, everything became some sort of fight between us. They all shared one common theme. She became ultra sensitive to any comments I made and always took them as terrible criticism, which they were not. My comments were along the lines of "Hey, sit down and relax. Take a break... you're always cleaning and wiping stuff." *She is seriously OCD.

Then life became her way and her way only. She thinks she cares about my opinions, but usually whatever I say gets overturned and we do it the way she wanted or we feed the kids what she wants, etc.

I remained by her side because I knew that this person was not my wife, but I knew she was still in there somewhere.

I started getting more promotions at work and suddenly became this weird little superstar on the fast track. Naturally, I soaked up the praise as my alternative was no praise at home. She started accusing me of changing. *I was still the same guy, but I was living with someone who wasn't offering any kind words. Then came the accusations of me having been unfaithful. What an insult I thought as I'd been turning down several offers at the time.

Now, she said that her romantic feelings for me have died and she focuses solely on moving to NYC where she wants to take my kids and two dogs. I do not want to go because I'm scared that we will move the 3000 miles there and she will still not want me, which absolutely destroys me daily because I still am very much in love. Next, there is the fact that I have created a stable home environment for them all. We have a house, a car, full cabinets and refrigerators, among other cool stuff. I do all of the things a husband and father should do and I do them without fail.

She acts like we're friends, as if this isn't affecting her at all, but it's killing me.

Is this normal? Help! Time is running out because I want her back and my pain will make her runaway faster. I can't cope with the lack of affection.