Is it normal that my wife is still hung up on her first husband?

69% Normal
15 Comments

My wife drinks to excess occasionally and when she does, she always talks about her first husband. Not her second and not me. She has friended all of their former mutual friends on Facebook and through her own admission they have been giving her updates on what he's doing. They haven't been together for 15 years!

When I brought up the fact that I was sick of hearing his name she said she mentioned him so often because he was her first love and they had had two children together and that those two things created a long lasting bond between them. Then she calls me jealous. Is it normal that she's so hung up? Is it normal for me to get sick of it?

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 13 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • IcecreamDogs
    6 years ago

    Just divorce her. Do you really want a girl that talks to her friends about a guy she "used to like" while she's with you? Again, why would she have eyes on a guy she used to be with?
    Those are some signs you should just leave her. She clearly isn't in love with you.
    She still thinks of that freak? You do deserve better than a girl like that.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Its been 10 years. Kind of hard to let go, man.

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      • IcecreamDogs
        6 years ago

        Wake up. She's fantasizing about being with another guy while she's with you. Don't settle for that. Look, it's been about 2 months since you posted this? And you're seriously still looking back at this post for advice? Something's gotta change.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          I fucking know. I just don't want it to end.

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          • IcecreamDogs
            6 years ago

            It could. You can make it happen. There's more out there for you.

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  • Susancream
    6 years ago

    Leave her like a trial separation if she wants she'll call in 6 months if she doesn't well then you know.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    6 years ago

    True. It really sux being second banana. I'm actually starting to think that she should just be with him again. Maybe its time to leave and honestly, I could do better.

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  • ChrissySnow
    6 years ago

    Yes, I feel it is normal. I still have fond feelings for my first love. I got rid of him because he raped me. I wish he hadn't wrecked everything. I miss him but we moved on.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      You need to get some self esteem.

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      • ChrissySnow
        3 years ago

        People say stuff like that but never seem to say HOW

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    She needs to stop with the Facebook, sober up and start going Alcoholics Anonymous!

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    6 years ago

    I see the bad boy thing, bit this situation goes well beyond that. A few things he did to her:
    Cheated on her on their wedding night
    Did a short sentence for beating up a 15 year old boy
    Did 2 years for giving their daughter shaken baby syndrome
    Returned after his sentence and intimidated her into letting him stay at their house, thusly getting her children taken away temporarily.
    I just can't understand why ANYONE would still love such a monster. It has to be low self esteem.

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  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    She still has deep feelings clearly. It's normal to miss that even if your with someone new. Sadly it means you aren't a replacement for what she feels is lost

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I just cant see it. It just seems like one hell of a long time to hold a flame for someone. Especially an abusive control freak like him. I had my first love that didn't work out and I have nothing at all for her. Don't even think about her. I just can't understand how she still has infatuation for someone she was only married to for two years when she and I have been married for 10.

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      • JonathanOo
        6 years ago

        It's not explainable. It simply is a feeling that didn't go away for her. No matter how much better you are than some abusive bastard. I've had a friend go through the same. She still thinks about that a reckless bad boy more than any regular gentleman she meets even though he doesn't give a damn about her or any other girl he uses to have fun with. Yet she still wants and thinks about being with him even though he is a horrible partner for a relationship. Maybe it's psychological, who knows. It really doesn't make sense at all....

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