Is it normal that my mother and i constantly argue?

81% Normal
3 Comments

Hi, I'm a currently a 19 year old living with my mother and father. I constantly argue with my stay at home mother about anything and everything. I feel like I am a disappoint because I did not get into the university of her choice and instead chose to attend a community college. I tried to explain my choice and how I am planning on transferring out; but every time she sees me, she is so judgmental and pessimistic about my life choices. I'm not stupid or anything, I'm just felt like going to a community college first. She constantly brings me down and yells I am a failure and should leave the house... I don't know what to do because I have no job or anything and I am trying to focus on school and don't want a job right now.

Note: I'm of Asian decent so you can only imagine how important getting into a good school is.

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 31 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    It 100% normal, though perhaps your mom could use less degrading language.
    It's a parent's job to push their kids to always do better, and as long as you live in her house you have no choice but to put up with it.
    However, you could improve the situation by not taking part in the arguments. Just let her say her piece; you've heard it all before anyway; what good does it do to respond or argue?
    Bite your lip and think of pleasant things and perhaps, in time, she'll get tired of talking to herself and you'll get some peace and quiet.

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  • MangoTango
    9 years ago

    Asian? The Tiger parent type? Ughhh. Your mother is a meanie. I feel for you. I have friends who have these parents. Actually, most of these types of parents REALLY do care about you. They know the world is ruthlessly competitive. She could tone it down, yeah. In a case like this, you're going to have to trump her immaturity. You have to act like the adult here. Let it all go in one ear and out the other. Keep to your game plan.

    She's not thinking. Going to a community college first is a wise move (so I learned in hindsight, ugh). You will be taking the same freaking credits for like HALF the price it costs at the traditional 4 yr. They all count the SAME. Your mom has no clue that it is grad school that counts. The transfer game is genius. You can transfer into ANY school you want. Like, if you were looking a an Ivy? Transfer in, or apply to one for grad school.

    If they're paying for your school? Count your blessings and put your nose to the grindstone to get yourself out of there. White lies with the parents helps. Just be nice to them. Fake it. Whatever quiets her ranting and gets them out of your hair? Do that.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    These things happen and it's sad in life
    your young with your whole life ahead of you
    if your parents keep doing that than it's time
    to make a new with life why live at home and be
    placed through hell just cause a sibling doesn't
    do what they want doesn't give a parent the
    right to put them through hell

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