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We were just talking about something and she just casually mentioned I dont have a pretty face tho I am smart and have a great personality n stuff but not a decent face
Its not that I give a shit but it was devastating to hear that
Tell your mother that you inherited your face. Also you can tell her that she's ugly on the inside, and there ain't no surgery that can fix that!
Wish I could tell her all that but I just kept quiet pretenting that I'm taking it in a light hearted way. Well I was trying to
But i found myself constantly thinking about it
Why is it that you old/middle aged people always act like leaving or standing up to mistreatment from parents is so easy?
Maybe standing up to your parent is some fantasy of older people's- something you wish you'd been able to do.
As time slowly creates space between you and your childhood vulnerability, the hurt and shame from past mistreatment evolves into ire.
In your adult strength, surely you wouldn't allow it, but you slowly forget that you would NEVER have had that strength as a child.
Why? Because it was the hurt and the experience that made you strong- that made you say, "Never again!"
I've always talked back, and stood up to my folks. It's probably my personality.
I don't speak for all middle-aged people. I only speak for myself. You don't know me, or my story, and I don't know you. Sometimes there are also cultural differences to be taken into account. So let's just leave it at that.
My mum used to tell me I was fat, and once when I was 13 she lifted my shirt up in front of my brother and his friend, and grabbed my belly while calling me fatty. Funny thing was I was VERY thin because I was so paranoid about getting fat because she was always saying it to me. That complex followed me for years.
My mother behaved that was because she was a depressed, lonely alcoholic who had been abused as a child and had serious issues. So unless your mum also has some serious issues then no, it is not normal at all. It's the opposite of what your mother should tell you and I'm so truly sorry that she's said that, you don't deserve it. It's very damaging and I hope you can look in the mirror and tell yourself it isn't true. Even if you can't now, I promise that one day you will. You don't need the approval from someone like her. Get your own support network of people who love you the way you are.
I wish I could hug you through the computer
No problem. I saw a bit of my younger self in you and it got me right in the feelings.
Be thick skinned around your mum - I'm sure she loves you but that doesn't mean she's always right. From what you said in your post here it sounds like your mum is threatened by your intelligence and is trying to make herself feel better. That's unacceptable behaviour from a parent.
You'll be fine regardless of what she says
That's really mean to say to a child. Don't let her ruin your confidence be who you are.
That's a little brutal for a mother to say to her child. Sometimes people forget that they have filters. I hope she realized that it was wrong of her to say that to you
at least you aren't ugly on the inside like your mum and that's even worse
Thankfully, it doesn't sound like she meant it in a hurtful way.
But some people are obnoxious like that, and don't get that they should just keep silence when no good, and only harm could come of their words. It reminds me of my dad.
You're the product of her and whatever mate she selected, so maybe she should watch who she's calling ugly.
That’s not normal , unless she was joking lol parents are never supposed to say that to the kid
Yeah, it sucks to hear something like that, but at least she's being honest.
Well i am just average but I am a dark skinned girl which is a big "nono" in my country
People are often racist here because to thema white skinned girl is the definition of beauty
To the contrary I really dont give a fuck and I love my caramel brown skin and am never ashamed of it.
People sometimes do say fucked up shit and express sympathy but I take them down In a way they remember for a lifetime. In short In a sarcastic and a badass way
But this shit just came from my mom which disheartened me
There is a 3rd thing that can be done which is just not saying anything. Sometimes it helps
I'd rather have her fucking mouth shut and minding her own business, thanks