Is it normal that my girlfriend is constantly negative?

Finally! A site to find out what's normal! All joking aside...

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years. I love her and she loves me. The problem is, she is pretty darn negative and tends to complain a lot. Now, I'm not trying to suggest I'm this happy-go-lucky, "let's play the glad game" guy all the time, but she's more negative than me. Sometimes I feel our relationship has a foundation of general negativity, and it's not really towards one another. Just in general. To use an analogy, life could be going wonderful for you, but imagine it was cloudy for three months straight. It'd probably put you in a funk.

Here's an example, she has a terrible self-image. Now, I know this is normal, but she absolutely hates herself. No joke. She cannot find any redeeming quality in how she looks even though she's very pretty and gets looked at an annoying amount. Also, little things set her off. The internet a little slow? Angry tirade!

I should note, we have fun. In fact, we often have great times and we legitimately enjoy being around one another. So,in everyone's collective opinion, is this normal? At times I feel like it's impacting our relationship, but I really don't want to make a rash decision. Does offering support ever become a crutch?

We are in our early 30s, so we have relationship experience. It's funny actually. One would think wisdom and experience would make relationship building easier, but in many ways it's every bit as difficult as ever.

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 115 votes (54 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • joybird

    I'm with you eternalsmoke31. This guy has allowed her to complain for long enough. Tell her to lighten up or when she has a temper tantrum, leave and let her fight with her shadow. She will learn to bite her tongue and see that you are not going to hang around and watch this childish behavior.

    She will only get worse as the menapause draws near!
    Negative people drag you down and gurn your whole life away!

    Run!!!

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  • want2camp

    Wow! This is all waaaay better advice than I had anticipated on getting. Thank you all. Mando, you're dropping some serious psychological advice on me. And, eternalsmoke31, I appreciate the hard hitting reality of the situation.

    I guess it's true, things are clearer from outside the situation. Emotional investment tends to blur what should normally be clear. This is all very helpful. I'm going to do some thinking and make a decision.

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  • kittenlittle

    Maybe she had a bad childhood and thats why shes so negative, you should ask her about it and try to help her. If she has low self esteem try to make her feel better about herself, she might be depressed

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  • kittyluv

    sure i dont know. maybe shes upset about something......*shrug*

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  • icanhascheezburger

    Not really sure what to say on this maybe some advise from personal experiences.. Um reassure her you love her, make sure she comes first in your life and reassure her that she's beautiful and gorgeous (don't say things like cute, sexy, hot.. it doesn't mean the same thing, seriously). Write her notes about how she makes you feel.
    She may be depressed and/or bipolar or manic depressive, she'd need to be diagnosed professionally.
    It's not normal to be negative all the time about everything. Have you two sat down and had a one on one discussion about this problem, it obviously bothers you so it's an issue that needs to be addressed. Good luck, maybe I helped you a little bit.

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  • eternalsmoke31

    I wouldnt invest in a future with a negative person...She probably has low self esteem which will cause her to feel worthless so she may cheat on you just to make herself feel sexy. If you really love her just do like the guy b4 me said and TALK about it. Most people cant change on a dime and if she was always that way dont expect her to change, just live with it or leave...

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