Is it normal that my fiancé got so angry?

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18 Comments

So here it goes. My mom and I went to pick up my fiancé from work with my son and sister in the car too. My fiancé and my mom really don't speak to each other that much, so I figured it would be ok to bring her with me for the brief trip home. My fiancé (let's call him Billy) comes out of work and waves me over to talk. I get out, go over to him, and he starts shouting profanities at me and getting in my face. The best I can tell is that he's upset because he has to be in the car with my mom. Now obviously my mom has full view of this crazy screaming, so she comes outside and begins telling him that he needs to get in the car so everyone can go home. He then proceeds to cuss out my mom, shoves her, and calls her some seriously disrespectful names. I decide that my mom and I will leave since he obviously doesn't want to be around. He then begins yelling that he wants my son out of the car and I tell him no. We start driving and he leaps halfway into the car (my window was rolled down) and screams for me and my son to get out of the car. In the end, I got out of the car, pulled Billy away from the car, and my mom drives off with my son because nobody wants him hurt.

After this incident my fiancé apologizes and says he had no control over what he was doing. He claims that he was out of weed and hadn't been high for the day, which caused him to be out of control. He's never done anything in the past like this (he wouldn't be engaged to me otherwise). I grew up in a very sheltered world so I really don't have much experience with outbursts like this. Brief history: Billy does have depression and has a history of bipolar in his family. All of his family members use and abuse drugs. So is it normal to get so angry over nothing because your out of weed? Is this something I just need to forgive and forget?

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Based on 20 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • charli.m
    6 years ago

    Is this really the environment you want for your son?

    If your fiance isn't willing to get treatment, you need to do what's best for you and your child, and leave before things get worse.

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    • JonathanOo
      6 years ago

      I agree. And if they are bipolar and abuse drugs your family may be negatively affected in the future. He should never yell at you or your mom for no reason. It's disrespectful and no weed isn't an excuse to flip out over nothing

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      • charli.m
        6 years ago

        Weed may not, but when mental illness is at play, things are a bit different.

        Still doesn't change that if he's going to have unpredictable outbursts like that, the kid definitely needs to be far away at least until things are stabilised.

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  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    its normal if you are Black and a democrat, republicans have guns and we shoot dead men that have rabies.

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  • Avant-Garde
    6 years ago

    Yikes! These are major red flags. Please don't go through with marriage. I don't care how much you dislike someone, no sane person would carry on in such a way. If he is willing to do this, what won't he be willing to do next? This guy is fucking crazy. File a report with the police and get a restraining order.

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  • bananau1
    6 years ago

    Well seems like you got a glimpse of what real Billy is like. Get out before it's too late! Even though it might have happened just once, it is NOT NORMAL AT All, and the marijuana excuse is lame. There is no excuse to act like that.

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  • YourNewDom
    6 years ago

    Is Billy's real name James by chance? If so, he's just a bitch-- and tell him I said 'hi'.
    But yeah, crazy is forever, the fact that the only reasoning he gave you was "I'm out of weed", means either he's:
    A: very petty and dependent on a non-addictive substance. or
    B: lying his ass off out of embarrassment or fear
    And to be honest, your whole "sheltered" thing, it's a trait most losers go for, they can be forgiven very easily when they can manipulate the situation.
    So either break it off quickly and permanently or take a look in the mirror and see if you'd like your face better with bruises.

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  • SmokeEverything
    6 years ago

    First off, marijuana is not a drug, and he's most likely using this as an excuse for being a dick. If he can't handle being out of weed for a day because he'll get so mad and dickish he should try harder to make sure he has weed.

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  • manwiththegreengloves3
    6 years ago

    The fiancee needs to grow up and learn some self control. And to lose his weed addiction.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Dump him, because he is a piece of shit scumbag. Perhaps you can use his drug abuse problems against him in a court of law to guarantee that you get full custody, because he's not responsibile enough to deserve joint custody. Sue him for child support if you feel so inclined. Don't feel bad for whatever you have to do to protect yourself and your child. In future try to be more discriminating and discerning with regard to your taste in men. Beware of guys who use, and abuse drugs and or alcohol as well anyone who has a bad temper and or is rude and disrespectful of his mother. Anyone who has nothing, but hate for and horror stories about all of his exes is also someone to steer clear of because more than likely there's a pattern there, and his exes aren't the only messed up people, a guy like that will probably not be a hapless victim, but rather be much to blame for his circumstances. Also remember the apple doesn't fall far from the tree so beware of anyone with an über fucked up family.

    There's nothing wrong with being judgemental! Please feel free to make my statement of opinion a mantra of sorts.

    Don't give that piece of shit the time of day til he sobers up and gets into a twelve step program! I used to smoke herb, and it's not normal to act like a massive raging asshole the way he did! Sorry, but that guy is a loser.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I think one of the things that makes this so difficult is that I've been with my fiancé for 6 years. He's the father of my child and before this incident there was no indication of anger issues. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what would make someone flip that fast. I certainly want to dump him after this, but the situation is so out of the blue that I'm confused. Maybe I'm just seeing a new and horrible side to him? I appreciate your comment.

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      • nikkiclaire
        6 years ago

        Well this time you were lucky. He tested you to see if you'd put up with crazy behavior. If you do he will continue to escalate his antics. Be warned its not if but when, he starts beating you. Get out now.

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        • RoseIsabella
          6 years ago

          So true.

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        I certainly wouldn't trust him anymore if I were you.

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      • Avant-Garde
        6 years ago

        Lady, he could've caused you and your passengers a serious car crash by leaping onto your car like that and for what? Because, he doesn't like your mom. He put the well being of his fiance/mother of his child and child at risk. That isn't love. This guy has major problems. You and your child deserve better.

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      • charli.m
        6 years ago

        Mental illness, particularly if exacerbated by drug use, would make someone flip so fast.

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      • JonathanOo
        6 years ago

        Seek therapy or counseling if you feel he will abuse drugs or become depressed/no polar. Try to keep the family together and peaceful if you can.

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    • charli.m
      6 years ago

      Do you not understand mental illness? Getting off drugs is one thing, but the underlying mental health issue needs to be addressed.

      Bandaid solution and zero compassion. What a surprise.

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