Is it normal that my family hates me because i stood up against my father?

My father is an abusive asshole. He always mistreated my mother, my siblings and me. He cheated on my mother and always treated her like a maid, even though my mother is a professional as well. We never said anything, because my father supported us economically through all our lives and because he was also quite aggressive. He threatened me and my mother with a gun more than once.

He left our home for several years. After that, he came back, but my mother made him promise that he would change. My father swore that he would, with tears in his eyes. However, as expected, he never did.

I ran away from my home when I was 16, because I couldn't take it anymore. After a month, my father begged me to come back (again, with tears in his eyes), and he swore that he would seek professional help. He never did, but he became a little more contained, at least in front of me.

The thing is that I am not a kid anymore and I don't need my father's money anymore. So, whenever my father makes something bad, I tell him right away to stop being an asshole in the most direct way possible. However... now my siblings and my mother hate me. They say that I am "disrespectful" with my father. My mother says that I am just making "too much drama" out of it. It is as if everyone had amnesia. Suddenly, my father was always a great person and I am just a rebel.

I just don't understand how can my family act like this. I suppose they just don't care as long as they have the money. I am scared that my sisters in particular will be beaten by their husbands and then stay quiet about it. And well, I guess I am scared about the fact that my brothers will beat their wives as well.

And well.... I am just here wondering... am I really being the bad guy here?

Voting Results
24% Normal
Based on 54 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • It's good that you stood up to him.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    Parents can never demand respect. Their children didn't ask to be born. If he's an asshole he's an asshole and you did the right thing.

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  • Short4Words

    Listen to the words they are saying. I'm not saying you shouldn't call your father out for the safety or well being of others but if it is their wish to move past it, why do you want to stop them?

    It sounds like this is now your chance to get back at your father. Are you sure it will be a happy place if you become angry like him?

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  • electricblueoceans

    It isn't normal that they keep forgiving someone who is overtly hostile, but it's normal for abuse victims to be in denial. Try to help everyone see him for who he really is.

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  • Just wondering...who are things going...? Hope all is ok !! Sorry that this comment is 7 months later.. :\

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  • jobonomo

    my dad went to prison and everyone called him an ***hole i didn't like it much but when i did call him an ***hole everyone acted like i was an evil little *******! But i am glad i got it out of my system

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  • Just wondering, how old are you now?

    You did the best thing you could do at the time, standing up to him. If you siblings and Mother don't see what is happening, maybe let it go for the moment, BUT do not let your guard down as it could happen again. See where it goes from there.

    Though I'm not say forget about it either, just try not to get into any argument with anyone maybe....(and I know it's hard not to think about it or not to argue with him but do your best) and see where it leads.

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    • I am 22 already. My mother actually knows that my father is being abusive... but she just doesn't want drama, she prefers to obey and keep silent. My siblings on the other hand believe that "the man of the house" must be respected... even after everything he has done... This is all just so sad, I don't know why my family thinks like this. I feel so out of place.

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      • Well I suppose at least someone knows, well no mother would want drama n what not in the house. I understand that 'the man of the house' should be respected but I know the feeling of being out of place.

        Have you thought of leaving for good? If you haven't already.

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        • I had... but I was kind of expecting someday everyone would change... right now almost all my hope is gone. I guess I will just start searching for a place to stay.

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          • Yea, don't worry your not the only one who would like people to change, as I wish some people would change too. Never give up though, you will work something out :) if you have survived this long, you will be ok. You will find something just don't give up!!

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