Is it normal that my boyfriends single friends want to hang out with us...

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My boyfriend has a lot of friends. Most of them are single and frankly don't have a life. Some of the girls in his circle of friends are his ex-girlfriends but they want to hang out with US every weekend. They're always asking us to do things with them and it's getting a bit stressful. Im not saying I don't want to see them but for the last few years I've been alot more stressed because the only thing I have to look forward to when I walk in my office on Monday is sitting around having the same meaningless and boring conversations over and over again with my boyfriends friends or family.

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Based on 34 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    You just said it. They are all single and do not have lives. So really what else are they going to do? They need someone to hang out with. I am single at the moment and feel bad since all my friends have lovers and I don't. I really have no option but to ask one of them since I am the only not dating at the moment. That or they could be planning to steal your boyfriend from you. I honestly do not trust most women though since a lot I have met are very vindictive.

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  • imisstropicana
    12 years ago

    wrong perspective. they want to hang out with HIM. you're just tagging along. if they were his group of friends before you two started dating, then, when you came into the scene, you broke him from their little group.
    I'm not saying you're the bad guy, just offering another perspective

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    • Prettygurl358
      12 years ago

      True. But that really doesn't change the bottom line. If I wanna see my boyfriend. It's going to have to be with his friends or never

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  • Prettygurl358
    12 years ago

    I think I've been brainwashed a bit in thinking not wanting to be with them all the time is my fault because I have personality problems and I'm a bit shy. So I have tried to change my ways (ie. cooking) to fit in and be more part of the group but I don't think I want to be part of the group.
    My boyfriend used to get upset with me when I didn't want to meet them all the time and wanted to spend alone time with him. His exact words were "what kind of person are you to deny me of my friends... All the other girlfriends come out and dont have a problem with it. You're the only one... Stop being so selfish"

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      I'm not being funny but it sounds like he's the one with a personality problem! He's a grown man who shouldn't need his cronies around him all the time!

      I think it's great that you have the strength to identify that this crowd are not your sort of people, so you would not choose to be around them. I think if he is playing video games he will hardly miss you if you go into town or the cinema etc.

      Please, please, please do not waste one more minute of your precious youth pandering to him and his cronies. Just say, "If you're going to be playing games I'm off to... (the shops, do homework, walk the dog, etc)" He can hardly object as he's not going to talk to you so the minimum you should do is get some fresh air! Personally, if it was me - I'd be away out with friends looking for a new man that would appreciate me and who didn't have such a childish addiction.

      Never ever hang around with anyone to be ignored - like a doormat - and if there is a day he does make you laugh, make that the last day you are with him!!

      I was given this advice when I was 16 and although I was too stupid to live by it, it was the best advice I was ever given. It would have saved me wasting my time with some right wasters!!

      You'll not always be young and gorgeous so get out there and enjoy your life - not picking up the scraps from his.

      Good luck!!

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    First of all - stop cooking for them!!
    It's as if you are making them welcome.

    By 30 your bf should not need group dates or video games, so if you're being ignored you really should do something for yourself - get your own life.

    You could try to embarrass them into leaving by sitting on his knee and snogging the face off him but I'm not sure how much he actually loves you - with this nonsensical behaviour!!

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I thought women dont like cooking anymore? You actually physically cook for them?

    How can your boyfriend be friends with his ex-girlfriends? I mean you dont need to be enemies, but I dont really see how you can be friends?

    If the relationship is serious you should be spending more time alone with each other then with other people or in a group. You can still hang out with the other people, but the majority of your time should be spent alone together.

    Maybe the last part of your story about going into work is more about just hating work, I have the easiest job in the world and I hate it. HATE IT.

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    • Prettygurl358
      12 years ago

      And yes. I hate work. Just like everybody else. But it doesn't help that what I have to look forward to is a weekend with THEM

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    • Prettygurl358
      12 years ago

      Yes I physically cook for them.

      Him and his group of friends find ME the odd one for not wanting to hang out with my boyfriends exgirlfriends... I don't know what I signed up for but it's been 4 years and I'm beginning to think maybe it is normal not to like this situation...

      We spend Christmas, birthdays and even random holidays like ash Wednesday as a group. His friends have no life and wanna use every excuse in the world to meet in a group setting.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Well like I said, if you want the relationship to work you have to have your alone time more then the time with friends.

        Spending time in couple outings and stuff like that is nice, but it shouldnt dominate the amount of time you spend together as your own couple.

        I still am really confused on the exgirlfriends hanging out thing. That sounds absurd.

        What do you cook? I dont think I have met a single women around my age that likes to cook.

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  • PhatPeter
    12 years ago

    Harsh, any reason he cant hang out with his mates during the week? Or vice versa. I suggest talking to him about only seein his mates maybe one weekend in a month or something like that. My roommate recently got a gf, i used to see him everyday now its a lot if i see him once in a month ( and he's my roommate). Maybe have a chat with him to see who he prefers to hang out with. Also one of the reasons i used to see my mates a lot with my gf is because i was paranoid about her not liking me and getting bored of me not saying this is the case but there might be something behind it.
    P.S. 30 yr olds are the same as 17s just with 13 yrs of shit

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      12 years ago

      This.

      By 30, one would think that those guys would know that they are being cock-blocks. Most men that age would know that once a woman is acquired, space must be given.

      They should also consider acquiring women themselves. Or more diverse social lives.

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    • Prettygurl358
      12 years ago

      All of his friends live downtown and he lives more on the west end of the city. Which makes it difficult to meet during the weekdays after work.

      It's odd because we did try to spend more time just alone but his friends got really mad and started talking krap about me. I know my boyfriend doesn't mind spending time with just me but his group of friends are really intense and needy.
      The one time we tried meeting his friends less they totally tried to cut him out. And I didn't want him to loose his friends because we weren't showing up to group movie dates, bowling dates, video game night and board game nights.
      And I love your comment. 17 year olds and 30 year olds are the same. Just 13 years of shit :)

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      • PhatPeter
        12 years ago

        Never too late to make new friends, if his mates havent accepted you into their group thats their problem. Also they cant be much of a friend if they ditch you if you dont turn up to a meet!

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  • PhatPeter
    12 years ago

    I used to hang out with my friends and my girl friend. Lets just say things didn't work out, I suggest having time for yourselves ( just the two of you) and then if your boyfriend wants to hang out with his friends then do so, maybe more seldom, you might try hanging out with your friends on the same night. then everyone wins.

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    • Prettygurl358
      12 years ago

      The difficult part is my boyfriends and his friends seem to think they need to spend every weekend together. When they meet all they do is play video games and I cook

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    • Prettygurl358
      12 years ago

      That would definately be an option but I only see my boyfriend on Saturdays and Sundays. So to not meet him so we can do our own thing on the weekend basically means I'm single. Also note my boyfriend and his single friends are not 17. They are 30

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  • karmasAbich
    12 years ago

    I hate that shit.

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