Is it normal that my boyfriend thinks my problem with cats is irrational?

43% Normal
5 Comments

(I'm sorry if this is really long, I just need to get the point across and make sure you know my reason for not liking cats that much.) I don't hate ALL cats. I only hate certain ones if they give me a reason to. I've seen many cats before and nearly all of them either hissed/scratched/bit me, or ran away from me because I was a complete stranger to them.

There are probably only two cats that I like right now, and they live where my grandmother works. I visit them from time to time and they're so cute. They act like a little animal couple and love to sleep.

But that doesn't mean I would like to live with a cat, or cats. I like how my mother's friend put it. She said that I'm the type of person that likes to stay around cats for a little bit of time, but if I were to live with one, it would be too much on me. And yes, it would be.

Cats make me feel scared, angry, anxious, and sad. Sometimes all at the same time. Their body language is so hard to read for me, then again I have never owned a cat before. I've only tried making friends with them on the street or at someone's house.

Everyone I have talked to about my problem are able to relate with my past with cats. I've just had very, very bad experiences with cats, and I would rather keep my distance than to live with one.

Not too long ago, I went to an adoption center since my brother wanted a dog. They had a kitty room in the back, so I decided to pet them and make friends with them. I saw one sitting on the window sill. I let it sniff my hand, then I pet it only to be bit by it. It only took off a very tiny bit of skin, but I started to cry because it scared me.

When I told my boyfriend what had happened, he told me to stop being a baby about. But really, that isn't the first time I have cried because of a cat. Cats are the only animals that make me cry and feel anxious, scared, angry, and sad. He's the only person who told me to stop being irrational about it, but since I've had such a bad past with cats, I can not help that I feel this way towards them.

He wants to get a cat when we live together. I told him that it's okay, but I have already told him what I have typed here. And yet, he still wants to get one, which makes me sad, but I can't force him not to get something he loves.

I have read several different articles on how cats can hurt your mental health (but not always). They have a parasite in their feces that can cause schizophrenia, but it doesn't happen very often. And, if you are depressed, you are more likely to be hurt by a cat. I'm depressed, and I have been for many years.

So, just so you know, I have made sure he understands why I would not like to live with a cat and why I don't particularly like them, but then he calls me irrational and biased. What do you think though?

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 23 votes (10 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    I can't exactly relate to your issue because I adore cats. However, if YOU have anxiety and fear around cats, why would you tell him you're okay with him bringing a cat into your future home? Stand up for yourself. Does this guy care about you at all? From what you wrote, he seems to be dismissing all of your concerns. Forget the cat issue, you have bigger problems ahead.

    Honestly, if he's going to pick a cat he doesn't even have over you, then there is something clearly wrong with this picture. Maybe you should re-examine your relationship before moving in together.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I have told him before that I would rather not live with a cat, and he eventually said he won't get one. But he changed his mind and wants to raise one with me. I told him it's okay because he's letting me own any animal I want and I think it'd be unfair if I didn't allow him to own an animal as well. But I do see what you're saying, and I have already tried standing up for myself, but it didn't work too well. :/

      The only reason he is like this is because he doesn't understand my situation, and he also said that every cat he has come across has never been mean to him. But, he just says what I say is irrational and biased and thinks I'm trying to force him to not have a cat, when in reality that's not true at all. I dunno why he acts this way, but it's annoying and sad.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Parky_Parker
        9 years ago

        What do you mean standing up for yourself doesn't work? You don't have to live with him. In fact, you don't even have to stay in a relationship with him. That would be considered standing up for yourself. He doesn't understand your situation because he doesn't care to understand. I wouldn't want to be with someone that ignores my legitimate concerns. If you told him you feel like you are in harm's way when cats are around and he dismissed that, he doesn't care. He's picking a non existent cat over you regardless of the fact that have anxiety around cats. That should tell you that he has no consideration for you.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
  • Shrunk
    9 years ago

    I'm gonna try to not hurt your feelings as you seem pretty sensitive but cats are my favorite, and your last paragraph is a bunch of... Err, i mean its not true, and frankly makes you sound a bit cra... Umm, i mean irrational..?
    In all seriousness, I've heard that cats are great therapy for depression. I have/had depression for a long time as well. I've also had a very nice cat for a long time, so maybe that's why I feel so positively about them, even the mean ones. I've been bitten and scratched by other cats plenty, but to me they're just cute little animals with all different personalities and backgrounds.. I always figure the ones who bite/scratch were abused by their previous owner, and I try to tame them with treats to show that not all humans are bad.. Anyway I guess you have a phobia of cats? Have you ever watched that show 'my cat from hell'? It might be good therapy to show you why some cats act the way they do..?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I do understand that some cats are abused which influences their bad behaviour, but I have met some cats who were not abused but were mean anyways. No, I don't have a phobia. If I did, I wouldn't even go near them at all. And no, I have not watched that show before.

      http://www.emaxhealth.com/8782/why-cat-house-may-cause-depression-and-suicide

      http://www.popsci.com/article/science/cat-bites-are-linked-depression

      http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/12/121206203240.htm

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0