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His son is only 4 1/2 years old but it's everytime the kid needs to get clean he has to shower with him. The boy refuses to take a bath in a tub and also refuses to go potty alone. It irritates the hell out of me that this kid is not independent in any way and also still sleeps with a binky. Wtf is going in here!!
WTF is going on here is that you are making judgments about your boyfriend's treatment of his son and just where do you think that will lead? Obviously the child has to come before you, so either get used to how he's raised being none of your business or butt out completely.
The fact that you're talking about this here rather than to your boyfriend indicates to me that you're too immature to be in a relationship involving a child anyway. If you do have the maturity to speak to him about it, how about some low key questions about the kid's past, relationship with the (absent?) mother: that way you might actually gain some understanding to replace your judgmentalism and, I'm guessing here, your jealousy of the child's importance in your bf's life.
And by the way, many kids much older than that have a "binky" and shower with a parent - what's the harm?
Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about this in a non confrontational manner, rather than asking the internet, where we can merely speculate, given that we have no idea of the child's context. If given that, maybe we could give advice.
If you intend on being in this guy's life long term, you are going to have the kid in your life. And you need to be able to talk to his dad about his situation.
One important thing to remember is you are talking about a child who is not with his mother.
Maybe the child has a fear of abandonment? Obviously the child is from a broken home, because mommy and daddy aren't together. You need to leave the binky alone! Maybe this dude isn't the guy for you, because the child should always come first, not the wannabe stepmother.
Typical behavior of a child of divorced parents. ofcorse he's going to want/need attention from daddy. either you deal with it or get the hell outta there.
He's almost 5 years old. Yes, it's COMPLETELY normal. I don't understand why it bothers you so goddamn much? I hate kids and even I find this to be understandable and normal behavior.
But, honestly, I think you're either too immature to date a guy with a child or you have wayyy different values than he does when it comes to parenting. Either get over it and be concerned for reasons other than "it irritates you" or break up with him. Maybe he will then find a step mother for his child that won't have such hostile feelings and you'll find a guy who will raise a kid the same way you feel fit.