Is it normal that my boyfriend's sister treats me this way?

15% Normal
22 Comments

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and I'm not very close with his sister. The problem is, I have found out that she says horrible things about me, which she makes up - like how I supposedly gave her a "dirty look". I happened to get sick once with something rather serious, and she told her friends without asking me first. Bear in mind that I have always been nice to her, always bought her really expensive gifts for her birthday (even though we aren't close - just out of respect for my boyfriend, and to maintain a good relationship with his family). I also cleaned the house she shares with my boyfriend every single day when I stayed with them for a few months, and she accused me of throwing her things away (she later found them, but never apologized to me).

I confronted her about it in a very respectful way, and asked her to simply be open with me so that we can solve whatever problem as adults. She never explained why she did those things, and just said sorry, but she keeps badmouthing me. Is this normal for a boyfriend's sister to behave this way? And is it normal for her to gossip about my health issues to strangers without my consent?

She is American and I'm not, so maybe this is a cultural thing I don't get.

Voting Results
15% Normal
Based on 48 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • Little-GirlRapedAndSodomised
    8 years ago

    It likely has something to do psychologically with his sister and rivalry, the bitch is and a dime a dozen after all y'all are living under that same roof and adults right?

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  • TGS.the.chronic.liar
    8 years ago

    Kick your boyfriend in da nuts. Simple but true explanation is your beau is porking his sister. She is the jealous other woman. I hate bursting balloons of unsuspecting innocents.

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    It's either sibling rivalry or jealously (or a combination of both), and she's taking it out on you. The only way to overcome this is to kill her with kindness.

    You're doing everything right so far, but your only mistake is you're treating her as a mature adult, when she really isn't. Basically, be more thoughtful (borderline motherly if you must) and ignore her hate. The whole point is let her behave like a child, while you remain the adult. Eventually, everyone will notice how much you're trying and tell her that she needs to stop being a bitch to you.

    1. Don't buy her expensive gifts, but instead make her something by hand. You save money, and it's thoughtful that you put your time into making something for her

    2. When she goes too far, respectfully explain your feelings to your boyfriend first, then have him come with you when you confront his sister. Never talk to her alone, because she's immature, she wont see a private talk as respect, but an opportunity to spread rumors.

    3. When you, your boyfriend and friends are about to go somewhere fun, offer her an invitation. After all, you're trying to become her friend, if she turns it down and throws an attitude your way, just say, "Okay," with a smile and ignore the hate.

    What you need to realize is, she's hurting herself by being so resentful.

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    • whatthe!
      8 years ago

      Wow, thank you so much for the very useful advice! The handmade gift one especially... I've spent literally hundreds of dollars on her, and sometimes I feel a bit bad thinking I could have spent that for someone I love, i.e. paying for my parents' short holiday instead.

      I thought I shouldn't drag my boyfriend into this, because no matter what, it is still his sister and I don't want him to feel like he has to choose between me and his family. That's why I've dealt with her on my own so far...

      I do invite her to places, and she does come along... she's very lonely and has no friends or a boyfriend, and I wouldn't want to isolate her more. she hangs out with people from work who she constantly badmouths at home.. I really don't understand her.

      Thanks a lot!

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  • Steve2.00
    8 years ago

    Give her a good, hard kick in the vagina.

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    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      Kick her in the cooch.
      ;-)

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    • skilful_soldier3
      8 years ago

      You pretend to be smart on the internet all day because you are a fat asshole with no friends.

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    • deepdankstickygoo
      8 years ago

      I just took a painful dump.

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      • Steve2.00
        8 years ago

        It's probably the aftermath of the anal raping you get in your prison cell every night.

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        • skilful_soldier3
          8 years ago

          You pretend to be smart on the internet all day because you are a fat asshole with no friends.

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  • pikaCHOO
    8 years ago

    She could be possessive over her brother?

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    She probably thinks you're using him because you're not American.

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    • whatthe!
      8 years ago

      Well actually, I'm European, and he intends to move in with me in a few months. So if anything, he's using me haha :p

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    It seems you've done your best to get along with her and she's not making any effort at all. She could be jealous of your relationship with her brother or maybe she's just a bitch: either way, stop trying so hard and just be polite but distant with her. There's no law that says you have to get along with everyone related to your partner

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    • whatthe!
      8 years ago

      Thanks for the advice, Ellenna!

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        You're welcome. It would be good to hear how you get on

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  • NathanScot
    8 years ago

    Americans in general are just cunts.Long live the Queen.

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    • yourdeepestshame
      8 years ago

      I came when Princess Diana died and I'll come 10X harder when the queen dies.

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    • snarkygirl
      8 years ago

      Long live my ballz

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  • snarkygirl
    8 years ago

    Maybe it's not you maybe she is just a bitch. Stop trying so hard and just be cold and see her as little as possible. Ignoring people you don't like is often the best policy.

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    • whatthe!
      8 years ago

      Yeah, normally that's my general policy too, I just thought I should somehow get along with her for my boyfriend's sake. Thanks for the answer!

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      • snarkygirl
        8 years ago

        Do the best you can :)

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