Is it normal that it's been this long and still no contact has been made?

50% Normal

I had a fall out with someone ( actually was a very close friend at one point) and then I tried making amense by ringing her. When we talked it wasn't the greatest and I didn't really enjoy the convo as she seemed in either a mood or she was depresso- she just sounded very flat. Basically she told me that she doesn't hold grudges and if something is bothering me I need to talk about it and not push her away and how iv done this twice in the last 2-3 years. She also said that she cares for me and wants to know how I am etc... Prior to the fall out when I stayed at hers we had a heart to heart and basically she said a lot of endearing things that told me she really cared deeply and loved me. It's been 2 months ever since the conversation and I haven't heard a peep from her :( I think it's kinda obvious she still has a problem with me or she would have spoken to me by now. Idk why she said she doesn't hold grudges if she's not even going to bother talking to me. It reaaally sucks because I know she was genuine with everything she explained to me that day when we had the deep convo..what do you think and why do you think she's not trying ?

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50% Normal

Based on 12 votes (6 yes)

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Comments ( 21 )

Aries

8 years ago

She is tired of you pushing her away all these times . You answered your own question , she might even be in love with you . I think you need to change your attitude with her or move on and let her be .

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Hey you forgot me!
  
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  - Aries
    
    8 years ago
    
    You can always re kindle a bond , if the damage wasn't severe and even sometimes then . I would just suggest empathizing with her and making a change if she is right . You can still have her in your life , re connect with her when you can!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      Ok thanks for replying- I appreciate it
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Did you get my message?
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  You don't know the full story though. I mean everyone assumes that I push her away because I want to when that's not the fact! She really hurt me and a lot in the past. I'm a girl by the way and when we had the talk my gut told me it was genuine like it felt real to me.
  
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Freedom_

8 years ago

I have friends that I'm not necessarily holding grudges against and I still care about deeply, but I just got to the point where I realized our lifestyles are too different now. I'm giving said friends time and space to figure out their lives on their own while I do the same. Contact is somewhat painful because of how different things are now. One friend in particular, she went through a lot a few years ago that kind of changed her and I had been going through things that caused me some trust issues so we are both very different people now, in some ways... I don't know if this is the case for you, but it is a possibility. I believe I will reconnect with my friends one day, but now is not the time.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  I understand, thanks for your comment :)
  
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TrustMeImLying

8 years ago

Maybe she's the passive aggressive kind? i.e. she says she holds no grudges but she does. I mean if she really "cared deeply" like she said, dont you think she would've shown that in her actions too? It can be an overcompensation. You'd be surprised how many people claim some things but then act/are completely different. And as you know actions > words. Which is why whenever anyone says something about themselves (eg I'm laid back etc) or about how they feel/care about you, take it with a pinch of salt, and believe it only when it shows.

Wanna tell genuine from pseudo-genuine? Screw up and see which people are still there for you. Nowadays if you were to tell someone you're not well they will gtfo. Years ago I went under the radar. Just 3 friends still tried to reach out to me. Then when I felt myself again and came back, I apologized, accepted fault, confessed my reasons, and they took me back immediately. No grudges... till now.

Some people come into your life as blessings, others... lessons. Seems like there's no honesty in your connection with her. There are tons of people out there who will value your sincerity. Move on.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  ? speak
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Hello?
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Great advice- thanks so much for taking your time in writing it :)
  Yea I see what you mean however what she said that day felt right to me, it didn't feel fake. My gut feeling told me she was genuine. I always thought why doesn't she show it/ prove it then as I have known that actions>words. Then I think what's the point in her saying that then? She doesn't get anything out of it plus if it were fake I don't see the point in her extending/expressing herself to me. When I'm with her, I feel appreciated and loved but not when I'm not around her which baffles me. She told me how lucky she felt to have me back in her life (she said this many times), one time she ssid that she literally had tears in her eyes when I first text her after not being friends for a long time, she told me we had a connection that day on the beach and it was intense, we hugged , she told me she loved me heaps and even later on hugged me randomly and explained I really do love you! I really doubt if she didn't value me that she would go to that extent if u see what I mean. I'm a girl btw..
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    8 years ago
    
    ??
    
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thegypsysailor

8 years ago

It doesn't sound like she's holding a grudge to me. More like she's lost interest in you. She sounds like she's tired of your childish games and just doesn't want to play them any more or continue the relationship.
Time to let this relationship die peacefully and learn your lesson.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  You're are always critical on almost every post I've made! I will dismiss your comment since I'm not in the wrong here. Before insulting someone u really need to know the full picture before u can criticize.
  
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  - thegypsysailor
    
    8 years ago
    
    How then is it MY fault if I don't know "the full picture"? Could it possibly be that you didn't give it? And how is that MY fault?
    No sweety, it is you who ask for an opinion, but don't provide enough information. My response makes perfect sense, based on the information you gave.
    Once again please, HOW IS THAT MY FUCKING FAULT?
    And if I was trying to insult you, dumbass, you've given us plenty to do that with. Your post is as illiterate as any I've seen on here and absolutely a shameful testament to whatever educational system you obviously didn't bother learning a damn thing from. You really should confine yourself to one syllable words if you think "amense" is in any way close to amends.
    Piss ant!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      Calm down ya old fart! Stop commenting on posts if you have nothing helpful to note. Everyone on here actually wrote great advice except you because once again you're just old and grumpy. -_-
      
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Ellenna

8 years ago

Have you contacted her? Maybe she's making the same assumptionsa bout you

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Well I rang her didn't I ? That should tell her enough ...I feel its upto her now, don't you..?
  
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  - Ellenna
    
    8 years ago
    
    Yeah I guess so, it's a hard one, isn't it? Personally I'd be telling myself not to call, but in the end I probably would because I'd want to know what's going on
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      Yea I'm pretty much in that boat :/
      
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that it's been this long and still no contact has been made?