Is it normal that i would marry my friend but i don't have a crush on him?

64% Normal
13 Comments

I'm a female, and I have a good male friend. I always think about how I would love to marry him someday, but I've already discovered that I do not like/have a crush on him. We get along well and we have very similar beliefs (which I think is essential in a marriage), and we have a very similar sense of humor. But I wouldn't date him. I'm not really the lovey-dovey type, but I've always wanted to marry someone I was in love with.. but I feel like my friend would make a great husband. Idk is this normal?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 44 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Alysin
    11 years ago

    I feel exactly like this too with my male bestfriend
    Except I'm a lesbian ._.
    so I'm not sure how that'd all work out

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  • forever_anon
    11 years ago

    Sure. Compatible personalities and beliefs are essential to a good marriage. But so is romantic chemistry. If you were to marry this guy--or someone like him--you would miss the opportunity to fulfill your dream and marry someone you're in love with.

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    • Sog
      11 years ago

      "Love" isn't what you think it is. It's not just the fun, heart-racing feelings you get from the chemistry in your brain. A marriage that is built on those feeling is doomed to fail because those feelings quickly fade away.

      When people say things like "he would make a great husband" or they are giving thought to spending the rest of their life with him, that strikes me as a better gauge of how "in love" they are than those fleeting feelings.

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      • forever_anon
        11 years ago

        Perhaps I didn't explain myself clearly enough. I never said marriage should be built on feelings of infatuation. In fact, if you re-read my post, you'll note that I said that compatibile personalities and beliefs are essential to a good marriage. But for most people, having some level of physical attraction to their partner is also important to a good relationship. Of course, those heart-racing feelings you're talking about will fade, but they should not go away completely. I have been in a committed relationship for six years, and there are definitely times when my partner can still make my heart race just like the early days.

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  • MsWVgal
    11 years ago

    Well, personally I have no intentions of getting married, nor does my bf, so you may take my words with a grain of salt. But it sounds like you have developed the perfect emotional relationship for marriage, its just that you're missing the romantic relationship.

    On the other hand, you can admire him and think him a great husband without wanting to marry him. I can look at and admire a really attractive woman, but that doesn't make me a lesbian.

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  • NothingxCrazy
    11 years ago

    My best friend is a gay male. Him and I decided we were going to get married because we are similar and have a lot of fun together. We wouldn't literally get married because that would be foolish. I have no romantic feelings for him, and I wouldn't even if he were straight. It's just a nice thing to think about being married to someone who fits your personality.

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  • Aewe101
    11 years ago

    I kind of don't understand, why you would want to marry someone and spend the rest of your life with them if you don't even love them ?

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    • TheSecret
      11 years ago

      I kind of feel like love doesnt last anyways, thats probably why. And usually people that are in love doent get along too well, i feel like it would be better to marry someone i can get along with or deal with for the rest of my life

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      • Aewe101
        11 years ago

        But what in the future this all changes and you lets say do find someone you truly, with all your heart really love.

        well i mean does your friend know that you don"t truly love him because if he does and you both feel that getting married and spending the rest of your life together is fine than yes i see no problem with it because its what you both want.

        But if hes not on the same page as you don't you feel its unfair to him?

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        • TheSecret
          11 years ago

          I definitely wouldn't marry him if he wasn't on the same page. And maybe i will find someone I do truly love.. i don't know then haha I dont think i will ever find someone I love like that

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  • ucipher8
    11 years ago

    I think you guys should consider moving in together. Maybe even buy a 2 story together

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  • standbyme555
    11 years ago

    I have a friend I feel the exact same way about

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    You not have many brain cells for thinkings me is thinking, but what kind of many funs do you have to be for him?

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