Is it normal that i worry too much about future for my boyfriend and i?

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10 Comments

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, he is 19 and I am 17. He does not drive, and I don't either. He gets to school and everything by bike. He works construction through his uncle and makes some money here and there but has no stable job. He makes waaaay less than I do. He was just offered a caretaking position (getting the mail, running errands, etc.) for a person who would payhim $450 a week. I thought without-a-doubt he would say yes! However, he is 'thinking about it' and saying that he feels he cannot fulfill the requirements of it on a bike. I couldn't believe that he wasn't as overjoyed as I was over this opportunity. I started to feel like he was being lazy over it. He said I worry too much. Is it normal for me to be so proactive about our future together?

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75% Normal
Based on 32 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • disthing
    10 years ago

    *...about the future for my boyfriend and me.

    Sorry, my inner grammar nazi was tickling my insides until I wrote that. Fuck you, Hitler.

    It's normal to think about the future, but you're both incredibly young. You can't expect your boyfriend to take a job purely on the basis of salary - it might not be what he wants to do, or he might be being realistic about the logistics issue (bikes aren't great for transporting anything of greater size than a pizza, aside from a human of course).

    Ultimately, his job is something he'll have to do every day for the long term. So whilst you might just be counting the $, there are other factors to consider in changing profession.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    It's not all about money. Some things are much more important, and living without stress is one of them. Nagging about jobs and money jeopardises your future with someone, it doesn't help :P Let him concentrate on school, money can come later.

    Why can't you be the main financiql provider for the future family? That's not a rhetorical question.

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    • beachgirl1210
      10 years ago

      To answer your non-rhetorical question, I believe and was raised that the man/husband of the household is the breadwinner. The girl/me can work and have a job, but the salary should not solely rely on me. I believe this way because women have to bear the burden of having kids and so forth, which is a job in itself.

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      • dom180
        10 years ago

        If the reason you want that sort of division of work between you and your partner is because it was how you were raised, you probably aren't actually being as pro-active or pragmatic as you think :P Your rigidness about gender roles is just as much the problem as he is.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    What are your plans for YOUR FUTURE apart from the boyfriend and relationship?

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    • beachgirl1210
      10 years ago

      My plans for my future are to go to college, get a degree, possibly do cosmetology on the side, but overall, I want a man with a stable job who can support the family if need be. I realize though that I am still only 17 and he is only 19, so I am not sure if I am making too big of a deal out of this or looking too far into the future.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        ...but...he's going to school. Doesn't that imply that he's working on a career?

        You're both too young to be worried about building a future. Just relax and enjoy life while you can.

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        • beachgirl1210
          10 years ago

          While that is a great point, he isn't taking nearly as many units as I am. He isn't even considered a full time student.

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          • [Old Memory]
            10 years ago

            Exactly why you should wait. There really is no hurry. The most successful families start in their upper 20s.

            Relax. Over the next decade, you'll have plenty of time to figure each other out, if he's ambitious enough for you, and if you're compatible.

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  • ScooterNyne
    10 years ago

    From the sound of your story and comments I have 2 things to say.
    one: You guys are young and should be worrying about the finer things in life. Spend your time having fun and enjoying the wonders of being young, dumb, and in love. relaaaax a little.

    two: and more importantly. You are comparing your BF to yourself. You compared his salary, time in school, and future, to your own. And you are uncomfortable with being "ahead" of him. Which in my opinion, is complete bullshit. Your future, when it gets here, shouldn't rely on ANY ONE individual. not you or him. When your future together arrives, if it ever does, You will understand that we live in a world where families are NOT supported on the back of one man or woman, but by a team. 50 - 50 split.

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