Is it normal that i want to cheat on my husband because he watches gay porn?

When I was 5 months pregnant I needed to use my husbands phone because mine wasn't working. He was asleep and I didn't want to wake him so when I picked up the phone to call my mother, I noticed a gay porn site on his phone. I was going to shrug it off as maybe a pop up, but my curiosity got the best of me. They say don't go looking for trouble and my hardheaded behind did (after all, I pay the phone bill and they are under my name). So upon looking further I saw that there were multiple sites being accessed for gay porn. Honestly I would have been ok with it if it were gay mixed with straight porn but nope. All gay. When I confronted him he said his friend had his phone that day. I said ok and left it alone for the time being. Fast forward and our child is now 8 months old. I recently looked at his phone again and more gay porn! There is a guy from my past that had been hinting to me that he wants to be more than friends, and he knows I'm married. I really do take my vows seriously but part of me feels like I'm the problem or that I'm not attractive enough. I want to test this guy out for the sole purpose of seeing if it's me or if I'm not doing enough in bed. The sex with my husband is frequent enough to make me think we are ok but his choice of porn makes me think otherwise...Please help without negative comments. A child is involved here and I don't want to be another statistic of a broken home but I'm out of options...

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22% Normal
Based on 9 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • "Testing" another man out is a poorly-wrapped excuse to cheat on your husband and not feel as guilty about it. It's not the solution to your problems with your marriage.

    You used the word "confronted" to explain how you brought up the gay porn with your husband eight months ago. That word, along with your post, has some negative connotations. Why was it a confrontation then? Why was he made to feel as though he'd done something so wrong he'd have to lie about it to his wife? Why couldn't he trust you enough to tell you the truth about some of his sexual interests?

    Gay porn, if that's what he's into, doesn't mean he's a bad husband or has broken any vows to you. It does mean he's turned on my seeing other men having sex. So what? He could be gay but, because he still wants to have sex with you, it's more likely he's bisexual. It's not something you should feel threatened by and it's definitely not a reflection on you or your sex appeal.

    Before you commit the ultimate betrayal in a marriage and cheat on your husband, perhaps you should talk to him about all of this. And, it might even be helpful to do it with an understanding and open mind. Assure your husband that he can trust you not to judge him harshly about his sexual preferences.

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    • Anon_2_u

      I see your point. Maybe I shouldn't have said confronted because when I came to him with it I didn't yell or scream or belittle him. I told him I saw it on his phone and if he's into this type of thing we can try buying some gay porn to watch together. That's when he said defensively that he wasn't into that type of thing. So I left it alone. As for testing the guy, I wholeheartedly agree it's a poor excuse, it's just hard not to feel self conscious after being told one thing when you know another. I mean, do guys who only want women go looking at gay porn every day? I mean every day...it does something to my psyche cause I know I can't compete.

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  • Freedom_

    Fuck statistics. You're a statistic either way so make your own choices.

    So 1 year later you find gay porn on his phone again... is it possible that his friend got a hold of his phone again?

    This is just another sorry excuse to cheat. It would make more sense to get your guy friend to try to sleep with your husband to test HIM. It seems to me all you want to test are the limits of your cervix and marriage. Looking at porn of any type and physical sex are two totally different things. If you really don't want to be a statistic try not being a slut because 55,767,856 sluts will ruin their marriages next year by lack of common decency.

    So what if he likes gay porn? I like lesbian porn and I'm happy with my marriage and thank God I don't have to worry about my husband cheating on me just because of one little thing that turns me on (that I do not act on!) aside from him. Or do you think I should cheat on my husband for reassurance because he watches BBW and I have small boobs? He likes older women too but I'm young - I guess I better fuck two guys at once!

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    • Anon_2_u

      Love how I asked for no negativity but there it is :-) but I digress...a few things are wrong with your comment. Number one, his friend isn't gay so that's just out the question, which is also a red flag because why would you lie on your friend to avoid telling me the truth. Number two, you said you watch lesbian porn and you are glad your husband won't cheat on you for looking at it. But guess what, YOU have admitted to him what you watch and he has admitted to you what he watches. Definitely different than my situation. If he would admit it to me, hell Ill buy it for us both to watch together, which I've told him. The part that makes this shaky is because he is HIDING it, it makes me wonder if he's not hiding his own actions besides just watching the porn

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      • Freedom_

        Sorry, I totally missed that line. I'm not trying to be negative, just realistic. You need to be realistic as well and see that what is really going on here is that you want to fuck someone else. It seems like you're looking for an excuse and this gay porn thing was almost perfect for that until you realized you wouldn't be able to justify your vengeance logically.

        Some people are very reserved when it comes to their sexual preferences and fantasies. People in general only want to share what they believe society will accept, not just what you are willing to accept. Once you know he likes dick there is a good chance you're friends will find out and then maybe your family until it gets to his family and friends, who may not all be quite add accepting.

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  • 6meyou9

    he's gay if he hides it and deletes the history, he probably just curious and may want to explore his sexuality

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    • Anon_2_u

      True. And I have no problem with him exploring his sexuality because it's not fair to either of us if we stay in this and he's not happy because he wants men and I'm not happy because he wants men. So that would mean divorce because he won't admit it to me and agree for us to try it together.

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  • handsignals

    Your husband is either Gay or he's Bi and he needs his cock fix, you should say to him you know he likes looking at gay porn and that he can talk about it and be open minded.

    As for this other dude, you might as well fuck him.

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    • Anon_2_u

      I want him to be open minded but he's so defensive...I never tried to make him feel like less of a man and he still won't admit it.

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  • SchizoidPsycho

    I can understand why you may be feeling insecure about it, but it's not a good enough reason to cheat. Especially as it sounds like you'll regret it later.

    You need to force the answer out of him somehow, to give yourself peace of mind.

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  • thegypsysailor

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasies. It may be curiosity that goes nowhere and will die a natural death, or not, but as long as it's just web sites, who cares?
    He's NOT cheating on YOU, so why risk everything, if you care to save the relationship.
    If you cheat, more than likely your guilt and remorse will end up destroying your relationship, again, IF you care to stay with him.
    Are you looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship, because that's what it sounds like from here. You did mention your vows, but not your feelings (love) for him.
    Perhaps you need to "confront" yourself, and see what your honest feeling really are.

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    • Anon_2_u

      I think I do need to sit back and reflect...I love him and I know cheating won't fix anything. I think I needed to see in in black and white to realize how asinine that logic was for this problem. I'm just hoping fantasy doesn't get so boring that he wants to make it a reality...

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      • thegypsysailor

        Good, I'm glad you love him.
        Perhaps you could share the experience with him, becoming a part of his fantasy. There are plenty of toys that could get you involved, without the need of another person and the risks thereof.
        Possibly he would like it if you took control more, were more aggressive or domineering. It's tough to keep the spark alive for a long time, if there isn't some creativity and experimentation in the bedroom.
        No more confrontations; a bottle of wine and a little cuddling; lead into these new ideas (if they appeal to you) gently.
        Fantasy and curiosity are natural, an affair in retaliation is not.

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  • Thatguy777

    No, no, NO!!! WRONG! Don't cheat. Ask your husband about this stuff honestly. Don't get mad because it's just porn. Ask if he's really wanting a three way, and if he does get another guy. Then you can experiment with the other guy together! :D

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    • Anon_2_u

      :) I doubt the other guy would be up for it but I like the thought!

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      • handsignals

        Don't listen to that guy by whom I mean Thatguy777.

        Never turn down a fuck, life's to short and besides how do you know your hubby's not gettin some cock himself.

        So he refuses to admit he's looking at dude on dude when it's obvious he is....that's addictive behaviour. He's afraid if he admits to it he will have to give it up. You could let him know your happy for him to have his own time and space to do it.

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  • peterr

    I still think you should fuck that guy in spite of what everyone on here says. And suck him off too, if he knows whats good for him. Merry Christmas and to your queer hubby too. If he gets lonely he can suck me off for Christmas.

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  • LizardSkin

    You're out of options because your husband is looking at porn?

    You want to cheat because your husband is looking at porn?

    What the hell is wrong with you lady?

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  • You are probably going to cheat regardless of what people say on this website. So if you want to go be a butt slut then go be a butt slut.

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