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i want someone to make me cry. i want to be punched, kicked, etc and i fantasize about being on the ground and bleeding. i want someone to spit on me, bring up my insecurities, and treat me like im nothing. sometimes these fantasies involve sex but other times they're strictly violent.
I want to cry so I want people to make me cry so in my opinion its normal
It just sounds like you have a hardcore kink. There’s nothing wrong with that you just have different tastes. Although it’s best you don’t act on it because these things can hurt you physically and mentally. And that’s not good for you. If anything just take out the punching, kicking, and bleeding out so that you don’t hurt yourself and get a trustworthy partner that would be comfortable helping you with this. Make sure if you do anything harmful to yourself to go to the hospital and get a doctor to check over you. Now I’m not saying that you should do any of what you said but it’s best to have some form of support to help you.