Is it normal that i used to think work is harder than taking care of a baby?

52% Normal
26 Comments

I am going to be a father. There is this couple living with us and the woman in that couple always complains to her significant other about how he doesn't do dishes and blah blah blah so I told her if I was a father I wouldn't mind helping out around the house because her job is a full-time job and I figure hey that's harder than the 8 hours the man would work for. I stated that it was also harder also because it was 7 days a week 24/7.

Recently I got a job myself and am no longer unemployed and now... well first of all I have to state that I would take care of the baby for a couple of hours when they'd leave to the store and comparing THAT to one hour of my work is ridiculous to a tremendous degree. I'd rather fucking take care of him for an hour than work for an hour where I do. I am in a fruit packing plant and there is not more than 2 seconds of rest between everything I have to get done. It's just woosh and zip evervwhere with the potential of getting screamed at. I used to think taking care of the baby 24/7 but now that I have work pains my gosh... I'm a hard worker so I don't mind but I seriously doubt taking care of a baby is harder and I feel entitled to rest when I get home(maybe help take care of my upcoming baby for 2 hours at most but that's it) Am I in my right? is it normal to feel that my work is harder than taking care of a baby?

I mean when I took care of the other couples baby I just sat on my ass and bottle fed him watching adventure time, please ladies you cannot tell me that is fucking harder than moving your whole body for 8 hours repeatedly for 6 days of the week?
You can't be serious xD
I will admit that it is "somewhat" hard though, I respect that. Guys what do you think?

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 48 votes (25 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 26 )
  • ProseAthlete
    11 years ago | pl

    I think your feelings are normal, but I also think you're getting a skewed perspective. You took care of someone else's kid for a short time and handed him/her back after an hour or two. It ended. Your work day is brutal, but your work day ends. That doesn't happen for people who have sole care of an infant, and from what I gather, that does get exhausting.

    Think of it this way: Is it more draining to lift a heavy weight or to stand on one foot? Over short periods, the heavy weight seems like more of a challenge, but try keeping your balance when you always have to shift and adjust. It just gets harder and harder the longer you do it.

    You are absolutely entitled to rest and relax at the end of your work day, but your wife will need a break sometimes, too. You'll also want to share in raising your child, so it's different from watching someone else's baby.

    My hat is off to you for doing a tough job; however, that doesn't mean you never have to change a diaper. :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    6
    6
      -
    • Angelandme
      11 years ago

      I will change diapers and help for as long as I'm awake after work.

      I see your point there...with that analogy but for some reason I still think of that other woman, you know I just see her sitting on the couch all day?
      All she does is put Matthew(the baby) on his little walker toy and watches t.v for hours and he seems to enjoy himself. I personally don't see how hard that is. She's hardly up at all when tending to him unless she's moving him into his crib or getting a diaper to change. It seems far less strenuous and less fatiguing. Seems pretty simple considering he sleeps for a lot of hours, just saying.
      I do consider it a pretty hard task, just still not as tiring both mentally and physically considering the physical discomfort is always there for me after work and even when I start work the next day. Thanks for commenting by the way.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • charli.m
        11 years ago

        I'm finding it really hard not to be too judgemental here, so just a heads up.

        My first question would be why is this woman not interacting with her child? Failing a reason such as mental or physical illnes, I don't understand people who just leave their kids to their own devices. Children need interaction. Perhaps, though, this is not a constant thing, just while you happen to have observed them.

        I've worked with babies from the age of 11 weeks up until teens aged 17. I'm so glad it's (at this stage) only my job, because it means I get to go home and sleep at the end of the day.

        Using the 11 week old baby as an example, here would have been my standard day with him at the age of about 5mths (from memory, this was a few years back):

        Wake up, change, dress, feed breakfast. Play signing games or read. Give him a bath. Put back to sleep. While sleeping, put on laundry. Start cooking baby food (he started eating early), wash bottles, put on dishwasher. Vacuum house and dust. He'd be awake after 45 mins. Change, give solids and bottle. Take on an outing to park, library, etc. Come home, another bottle, another nap. While he slept, hang out washing, put on another load. Do yesterdays ironing. Wake up time, change, give solids, play, read, give nappy free time, empty dishwasher while he's on floor. Then bring in washing, hang out next load if time. Water plants with him. Start feeding him dinner.

        He was an easy kid. And I didn't have to cook for the parents. Now imagine a difficult baby, the mother is recovering from the birth for a few weeks, physically and emotionally. They grow quickly, and you have to constantly adapt. They wake every 4hrs or so for the first little while, too.

        I am in no way saying the work you are doing is not hard. It is. I couldn't do it. But the constant care of a child is also exhausting. Not to mention you are constantly poked, prodded. When they are older, they sleep less, they're more active, you may not have the chance to even go to the toilet without some little person crawling over you (god what I'd give to be able to go pee alone at work...)

        I'm tired, I'm not sure how much sense any of that made.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        4
        4
          -
        • Angelandme
          11 years ago

          Wow... she does none of that. Maybe that's why I think it's easy. No housework does she do really except mop and do dishes, maybe laundry once a week. Doesn't cook, her man cooks all the food. She doesn't really read to him or play learning games all she does is talk to him sometimes. Which is prolly why it seems easy. She gives him baths only every two days?
          I guess taking care of a baby means( also being a stay at home mom) means a lot of different things. Maybe this mom I know isn't following a book on how to properly tend to her developing child and that's probably something to take into consideration...

          Not a lot of people follow the "Rules" on child rearing there may be out there so that could alter the perception of what degree of difficulty and how strenuous taking care of a child could be?

          And even though you are tired thank you for your comment, it made me aware of that possibility when taking in all of these other comments and opinions.

          Even if I get bashed at or whatever I can still think
          "Everyone raises their kid differently" so no hard feelings from this guy. Much appreciated comment again.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • charli.m
            11 years ago

            Well neither you nor I know if there are medical reasons, possibly PND...but yeah. There should be more interaction than that. Baths don't have to be daily, for very young babies, they're better NOT being washed daily, just sponged around their necks so you wash away the milk and sweat mix. It smells gross. And umbilical cord care and what not.

            I remember helping my aunt wean her 14mth old daughter off midnight feed. She needed someone else to get up to the baby, because the baby would smell her milk and scream until fed, and my uncle refused to help. He works long hours, but he also spent the first 6 years of his childs life doing pretty much fuck all in terms of housework or childcare (and my aunt worked, too). I was so fucking tired after just 5 nights of getting up to the baby twice a night and rocking her to sleep while she screamed and clawed at me. And I was 18 years younger than my aunt, I honestly don't know how she did it nightly for a few years (and again for a few years when the next one came along - her kids weren't sleepers).

            Oh, I forgot to say. Congratulations :)

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            2
            2
              -
            • Angelandme
              11 years ago

              Thanks :)

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Your mentality here is shorter equals easier, which can be the case 'sometimes', but not all the time, or even most of the time.

      You also have to consider how a lot of the work involving children does not require any work. You can sit and watch children programs with them, that is not having to struggle at all. There are more like reading a book to them, and so on.

      Babies also go to sleep, which means even in between your day you can have "you" time, which can happen for hours.

      People like to make it sound harder than it actually is. Yes, it can be stressful, but nowhere near compared to how people like to imagine it is.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      -4
      -4
  • suckonthis9
    11 years ago

    Taking care of an infant is work. It might not be hard, physical labor, but as another reader pointed out, the duties never end. You only get a break when the infant is asleep.
    Remember, that the infant will soon mature into a toddler (terrible two's) and then a child and then an adolescent. The hard work has just begun. The parents will need to learn about and effectually communicate with the child as they mature, for providing proper instruction.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    5
    5
      -
    • Angelandme
      11 years ago

      I defer on your opinion because "you only get a break when the infant is asleep", maybe it's not the case with everyone's baby but the other couple gets a break not only when he sleeps but pretty often. I watch them watch their soaps while he's in the living room with them on his walker. Then he sleeps for about 2 hours and then after that he's on their lap while they watch t.v., get's bottle fed or eats his oatmeal, play around on his little play mat(again while they watch t.v.) and yeah, may not be physical labor? Of course. I would have to deal with the subsequent actions that they might call "Mental fatigue" as well as my own work pains.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • suckonthis9
        11 years ago

        These parents are irresponsible.
        They should be taking the infant outdoors, to explore nature, instead of watching television.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        4
        4
          -
        • shade_ilmaendu
          11 years ago

          Seriously. When I was a kid my parents couldn't keep me inside when they wanted to.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I know plenty of fathers who see work as a rest from parental duties. I've been called into work at odd hours and have worked through the night on more occasions than I can remember, but never has work woken me up screaming at 3am, and certainly not night after night after night.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    5
    5
      -
    • Angelandme
      11 years ago

      I'm pretty sure work wakes me up night after night, it sucks especially after getting a full eight hours and still feeling my calves, back, and arms hurt; no I'm not just feeling sleepy like a mother would if she were to be woken up by a baby, I'm feeling mangled as if I was just thrown around and thrashed and slightly bruised I must say.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      -1
      -1
        -
      • VioletTrees
        11 years ago

        But if we're talking about newborns, remember that mothers are still recovering from pregnancy and childbirth. So no, they're not just feeling sleepy either. For the first two months (and sometimes longer), most mothers are still taking care of their stitches, and exhaustion from childbirth can last longer than that.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        2
        2
          -
        • Angelandme
          11 years ago

          This lady I'm talking about... as it says in the post...

          Is no longer recovering so no, she is just feeling sleepy, that's all.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          -1
          -1
  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    After reading the posts, that woman whose child you were caring for sounds like a fairly uninvolved parent.

    Caring for a baby was the pits for me. I could not leave him along for more than a few minutes at a time, I was lucky to get a shower. Whenever my boyfriend came over, I'll admit, I let him care for the baby. He needed constant love and attention and at the time, being that I was a teen, I didn't understand that. Now I know better.

    He'd wake up and cry and I'd hardly get any sleep, changing was almost a constant, and my husband, who has never cared for babies on the long term had the NERVE to suggest that I be a full-time, stay at home Mom when we have kids. Hahahaha. No. I prefer working. I'd prefer working the hardest job that I have had rather than caring for a baby.

    She sounds like she has it easy. It's quite possible that she does not feel as if she is appreciated enough and her husband doesn't express enough uhh... well, doesn't recognize her worth to him so she feels the need to complain. Possibly because he feels that she has it easy too.

    Most of the SAHMs I know are of the over-worked under-appreciated sort where they are constantly busy and on the move and get little help from hubby so it surprises me that she doesn't do much =/

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • zerosidedstar
    11 years ago

    Work is hard. With a baby or toddler you can sit on your ass all day while you keep them in their crib or in their room playing.Why do you think many women pop out babies and make the state take xare of them so they never have to work? Its only hard when they are teens or get rebellious. Unless the mom is trying to bemom of the year with playdates and hobbies to overwhelm the kid.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    It's the whole thing where women want to get more credit than they deserve. Yes, it may be hard, but given the technology and advancements in humanity as a whole, it is far more easier.

    Nothing irritates me more than when women sit and say "it's the hardest job ever", it clearly isn't.

    Just another example of how mothers like to pat themselves on the back.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -2
    -2
  • wigsplitz
    11 years ago

    I've done both and being a stay at home parent is harder by far.

    I've also worked after having kids and going to work was WELCOME!! I couldn't WAIT to leave for work most days.

    Taking care of a child and a household is mentally exhausting as well as physically.

    Wait until your kid comes. Stay home alone with it for a week straight and then comment back if you'd rather keep doing that or go back to work.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Angelandme
      11 years ago

      Where was it that you worked at exactly?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • kelili
    11 years ago

    I have taken care of babies and I have to say that it was exhausting.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Ibelievethis
    11 years ago

    I think they are just as hard and rewarding as each other, and as a parent I believe it should be a personal choice whether you go out work or stay at home for me the idea of staying home was not an option (just would not suit me)As I am the sort of person who although I will always be a mum first I have always found work to be theaputic. I work part time to try and get the balance right for me and my daughter.

    Trust me being a parent is a job in itself after all when people are looking after other peoples' children be in fostering or childminding they are said to be working so why are stay at home mums not seen to be working.

    Another thing I will say though at least you (Collective)get a tea break in work. However when you are caring full time for a child you don't get any breaks unless they have a little nap but you can't guarantee that

    Oh Congratulations on your happy event by the way. xx

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Angelandme
      11 years ago

      I guess I do get a small 10 minute break... I guess it's not as good as her 2 hours of t.v just sitting on her ass though...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Ibelievethis
        11 years ago

        Good God How you again (collective) find 2 hours to sit on your backside as a full time mum/dad. I'll never know.xx

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • q25t
    11 years ago

    Depends on the job and the infant.

    Where you work, I would say only when the baby is sick would that be worse.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Energy
    11 years ago

    I would say go for being a stay at home dad. That's what I MIGHT do.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0