Is it normal that i think we should stop telling kids that they’re special?

I guess they are special to their family, to the rest of society they are like everyone else. A consumer, a wage earner, a citizen & more importantly a taxpayer. Kids just need to be told that they need to work hard, behave & strive for a comfortable, fruitful life in whatever form that takes.

They also need to have it explained to them quite clearly that they are a tiny cog in a fucking big machine.

More Marie Curie & less Bhad Bhabie.

I do think it's a problem when nobody is allowed to feel like a failure.

I remember my Dad pointing it out after an awards ceremony at my school, where they had made so many categories of frankly useless rewards that near every child got one. You were being congratulated for turning up and trying, basically.

When everyone is congratulated and told to be content over the most meagre shit, you're not encouraging attitudes of self-improvement and growth. That comes from constructive criticism and a want to do better, which first comes from recognising there's improvements to make. Constructive criticism is important and something kids should be taught to make of themselves and take from other people at a young age.

Telling your kids their special to everyone is bad. Telling them their special to you IS important. Encourage them to try hard to succeed. Failure is bad, but you can learn from it. Effort and will are the only ways to survive in this world. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

Does this mean I don’t get a trophy?

This is likely to make a lot of people never reach their full potential because they won't believe in themselves. Maybe the person who ends up curing cancer won't even go into medicine at all because they wouldn't believe they're smart enough for it.

You don't know what you're talking about.

I don't really agree with those last few words.
Instead of nihilisticly saying they don't matter at all, we should remind them they are special to their family, friends etc. and giving them hints how the real world works and that they can be anything they want to be only if they work hard for it.

I think that encouragement and praise is good when they have earned it, but just don't go telling little Jimmy over there that he is going to achieve great things for doing absolutely nothing.

You are unique just like everyone else.

Yes, you are right. I won't tell my kids they're special when I'll have them. It's really pointless and distorting the reality. Watch this for more similar stuff. https://youtu.be/As8XkJNaHbs

I agree that praising everything as tallent is a bit much but without giving credit when credit is due, children wouldnt want to achieve or strive for anything. I was told that I was “special” growing up but I also know my weaknesses and that 99% my talents are just pure garbage and that I wont amount to anthing (eventhough I have many professional awards in my carrer industry and am highly regarded amongst my peers).