Is it normal that i think these compliments to the disabled are patronising?

One thing that I learned when working with special needs adults: THEY WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE NORMAL FUCKING ADULTS.

I'm serious. I got so much positive feedback from grateful parents for treating their kids like regular teenagers/adults. They told me that all of their lives, they were treated like little kids because of their disabilities and because of that, never got any semblance of a taste of what it's like to be a normal teenager and they were very grateful for my treating them the way I treated my other friends. They want that. They want to be treated like everyone else. They don't want this coddling "oh he's so cute" bullshit. Would YOU think that someone takes you seriously as a human being if all they did was coddle you like a damned baby? Probably not.

I don't blame people for acting like this considering all of the shit people put out about treating the special needs "extra special", but if you actually talk to them and get to know them, you'll realize that they don't much care for that coddling BS and it makes them feel like they're retarded. Yeah. It makes them feel like they're retarded.

I saw some of the show last time around and what I'd hope is that (like the paralympics and the absolutely excellent "Cast Offs") it helps the general public become less phobic about disability.

However, where the paralympics is a genuine sporting event that just happens to be for specific people (it's more for the sport than the disability) and where "Cast Offs" was a biting satire about disability, (ab)using the public, and about reality TV, I wonder whether "The Undateables" is exactly the kind of thing "Cast Offs" was satirising.

What I mean is, should it really be national entertainment to watch disabled people struggle with dating (whether or not they eventually succeed)? Ignoring the drumming up interest by using people with disability (to some: the "freak show" dollar) so much of our television is now just a reflection of our lives (overweight people having operations, people with sexually transmitted infections, people making TV programmes just about doing their jobs). Why is it television-worthy? I watch this stuff (including documentaries about pest controllers and people working in sewers) but in my parents day, it would be unthinkable that this would be seen as entertainment. Worse, people from Chelsea, or Essex, or Newcastle or Liverpool being lauded for stupidity. People laugh at TOWIE because of the stupidity and I suspect people laugh at "The Undateables". We've become a society that laughs at what it perceives is below it. On a recent poll on IIN, the majority of people voted that they were here to laugh at others with problems.

The BBC's mission statement for many decades has been to entertain, to educate and to inform. I think they're the right core values and I wish more producers of television had them. I accept it's entertaining for many to laugh at what they see as below them and so the value "to entertain" is being met but if people are being entertained by this, I don't think "to educate" or "to inform" are being met.

I want to believe "The Undateables" is honourable television and I may watch some of this second series and (if it's anything like the last) think it really is fairly decent. I just have this nagging doubt at the back of my mind though and it won't go away.

I think the title "undatables" is offensive towards the people on the show. I would not go on a show that talked down to me. I have autism too and it does not make dating easy. However it has also shown me that most humans are shallow and care more about popularity because of their selfish needs. I would not want to pretend to be someone else to date someone because they wouldnt be worth my time if they didnt actually like me for the way i am.

A part of me agrees. I mean, they might be autistic, but they aren't babies.

If they aren't severely disabled, and seem to be able to somewhat manage everyday life... they shouldn't really be treated as though they're disabled. I mean, yes. They should be acknowledged as being disabled in certain situations, like by their boss, in a job environment as a heads up, maybe. Not sure, if anyone gets what I mean, or how I can really explain this. But I feel like disabled people should be treated like everyone else, not like they're actually disabled.

Expecting understanding and respect around disability issues when going on a show already tagged as "undatable" seems a bit much.

I've had total strangers tell me "You're so brave" and "You're such an inspiration!" when I'm just going about my goddamn business in my wheelchair. It's awkward, and I hate it.

I'm Hoh, have a learning disability, have Clinical Depression and Anxiety and issues with social interaction. I absolutely hate when people when people talk to me like that, so yes you are right.
A couple of days ago I was in the hospital for an inflamed chest. Part of the process of getting the IV in was to poke a hole in my vein with a needle. I'm terrified of needles and they had trouble finding the vein. When the nurse saw how uncomfortable I was, she said "It's almost over, sweetie. Your vein just won't say hello to me!" I replied "I'm twenty, don't talk to me like that." So she switched over: "I don't care how old you are, the needle has to go in!" Not the most pleasant experience.

Wux pothoc.

What should you do when you find out that a relative who appeared on the show a) Has a parody Twitter account and b) IS IN TATTOO FORM ON SOMEONE'S SKIN?!

Seriosuly?!