Is it normal that i think if a man wants to have sex with me then he loves me?

If I have sex with someone or they show a sexual interest in me, then I think they must love me and want to be in a relationship. I know I feel I love them and feel attached to them, yet I know that a lot (most?) of the time when people hookup or flirt, there's nothing more to it.

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 18 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • RoseIsabella

    So don't hook up with anyone. Do not engage in sex until you're in a committed, monogamous relationship.

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    • rocketdave

      Many, many people don't want a committed monogamous relationship!

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      • RoseIsabella

        Not as many as you think... besides I'm not concerned with the people to whom you are referring, but rather I'm only concerned with OP.

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        • rocketdave

          Oh there are a hell of a lot of us who've been chewed up by the system. Life should be flexible enough to allow personal freedoms.

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          • RoseIsabella

            An underaged person should never be free to consent to sex with an adult! Adults should NEVER be free to have sexual relations with children!

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            • rocketdave

              And who chatting on this topic is underage?

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  • olderdude-xx

    The desire for sex is rarely related to love; more often related to being horny or lust (both male and female - although men have historically been more aggressive on this). So, what you feel is not that normal.

    However, there is nothing wrong with what you feel. I grew up in an age where people casually dated for many times before they engaged in anything seriously sexual. Then, only if they saw the person as a long term partner, and possibly potential marriage partner.

    It's OK to have that standard. It's still the standard I use today (I'm not sure that I have ever had sex with someone I had not known for at least 2 months). It allows you to sort out those that care for you vs those who are only horny or looking for ego and/or personal satisfaction by having sex with you (not that sex does often involve both anyway).

    I wish you well in the future.

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  • RoseIsabella

    I think you're confusing love with lust, OP.

    My question for you is how do you feel if you have sex with someone, and then that person doesn't call you anymore, or loses interest in you? Have you ever had an experience where you were used?

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  • bbrown95

    Like you've said, there are people out there who just see sex in a casual way. Like Rose said, if you're looking for something more, hold off on the sex until you are in a committed relationship.

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  • my_life_my_way

    Most people don’t actually love people they’re in a long term relationship with, sex is the closest most people get to love.

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  • LloydAsher

    I use sex as a testing of the waters. If they suck at it, I dont wanna live my life with someone that sucks at an activity that I actively enjoy.

    Not to be shallow but being enthusiastic for sex is actually on my "do I love this person" qualifier. I have a high sex drive and if my partner isnt into sex that much it's just going to be a deep annoyance further into the relationship eventually becoming a crack that might lead to a moment of weakness that leads to cheating. I abhorred the possibility of cheating dispite the fact that I know I have the ability to cheat, so I wanna limit my possibly to cheat on a partner as early as possible.

    Sex Just happens and since I'm sterile it really doesnt have the impact it should for me or my partner.

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