Is it normal that i think about killing people?

45% Normal
16 Comments

Sometimes I think about killing people. Sometimes it's out of anger. Sometimes it's just for fun.
I try to keep the thoughts out of my head but today I found myself think 'I hope I kill someone before I die' WTF MAN.
I like pain and I'm pretty submissive so I'd say I'm masochistic but on the other hand it's like I'm oblivious to other people's pain. I can see emotional pain in others but I'm not bothered by it and I literally cannot register physical pain from other people, or more often I just choose to ignore it, so I'm sort of a sadist too?
I find myself always attracted to psychopaths in movies and I'm not talking that hot evil guy from Heroes I'm talking Texas Chainsaw Massacre here.
I think I'm perverted, disturbed and pretty much fucked up but I love my mum and dad and sister so I don't think it's psychopathy but what also could make me feel like this?
I take great pleasure in killing insects in painful ways and I quite like physically hurting my friends at university 'by accident' e.g. Piercing their ear wrong so it bleeds more or turning play fights to punches but then again I could never dream of hurting my dog, so again, straying away from psychopathy.
Help me.
Am I normal?

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 80 votes (36 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Meh.

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  • Light-Yagami
    9 years ago

    No, it's not normal...you're probably a sadist, the thoughts of killing people aren't that uncommon (I have them too) but actually hurting people/animals means you have a problem.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    You are one of "THOSE" girls....

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    • KeddersPrincess
      9 years ago

      No, but I am ;)

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  • INeedYourBacon
    9 years ago

    just kill them. do it. just go ahead. but before you do send them letters. make them cry. make them come to you for advice. then once they think its over. cut off their power. smash their cars. and kill them. hide all evidence. dont react until people notice their dead. then, cry all you want, but you will only know that those are fake tears. then once you kill them all. come to me. so we both can go get help together, if i dont kill you first, or if you dont kill me first. we can do this. ( wear glove in the act and burn them when your done) til next time 'm fella.

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  • Aroura77
    9 years ago

    I'm thinking about killing you right now...

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  • Tommythecat.
    9 years ago

    Yeah me too, I've also come to the conclusion that I want to eat a person. It really nags at me sometimes. The real problem as I see it is getting away with it clean.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      I've heard human tastes like pork. Just make sure you eat a healthy one.

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      • Tommythecat.
        9 years ago

        I've also heard veal ;)

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        • Mr.Doe
          9 years ago

          Pretty sure it tastes like chicken

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          • Tommythecat.
            9 years ago

            It don't. It also goes grey like gamier meat.

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  • Mr.Doe
    9 years ago

    Hurting insects? Really? Get back to me once you start hurting something a little more significant, like small animals ;)

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    • Tacksforsnacks
      9 years ago

      I have done, but I can't move on to bigger animals like cats or dogs so surely that's something? Trust me, I would like to be normal, but I'm pretty sure my behaviour isn't. Any more advice would be welcome x

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      • Mr.Doe
        9 years ago

        If you're actually serious about having these thoughts and you're behavior has been affected, it may associated to a mood disorder. I was a messed up teenager, having thoughts relating to yours (not saying you're messed up), although I never really acted on them in anyway. I had a mood disorder... let's just put it at that. All I'm saying is that if it's not psychopathy (also known as anti social personality disorder), then it could just be related to some other psychological disorder or issues. How about more info though? How long have you been feeling this way? Are there any other symptoms?

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        • Tacksforsnacks
          9 years ago

          Thank you so much. The bouts of psychosis have been going on for about two years but I've had mild depression since I was 14 and that's always been mixed in with some form of mania. However when I was younger the mania was usually just hyperactivity, promiscuity and dangerous behaviour regarding drugs and alcohol I know find myself having quite bad bouts of rage or very intrusive thoughts. I'm not too worried about actually killing a person but this isn't the personality I want, it's not who I want to be but I'm far too scared to talk to a professional. It may sound stupid but I find it very hard to talk face to face and end up bluffing everything is fine whereas in reality sometimes I'm truly terrified by the thoughts I have

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          • Mr.Doe
            9 years ago

            Completely understandable that you find it hard to talk face to face about these issues. I felt the same way when I had my illness. Paying someone (such as a therapist) to listen to your problems and give you advice when they have not experienced it themselves is quite illogical to me.

            You mentioned you've been suffering from mild depression (mixed in) with mania for quite some time. You also mentioned you've been having bouts of psychosis for the last couple years? This sounds like Cyclothymia with psychosis to me. Have you been diagnosed with a disorder from a medical professional?

            My friend, what I'm trying to get at is, there is a VERY good chance that it's the illness causing these thoughts and behaviors. Mixing depression with mania and psychosis can be very debilitating for a person.

            I grew up struggling with severe depression (since the age of 14 or 15) up until around a few years ago. It wasted a good portion of my life. I tried using drugs to self medicate. All it does is make it that much worse. I hated seeing doctors about it. I hated telling my mother about it. I hated talking to these people who couldn't otherwise even begin to understand what I was going through... And, as weird as it sounds, I even hated trying to fix it.

            Eventually I convinced myself to try medication, and it really helped. It didn't make me 100%, but life was bearable. It gradually got better. Nowadays, although it seems a little hard to experience pleasure, I get through life just fine (currently without medication).

            My advice to you is try medication. Yes, you'll have to see a doctor but you don't HAVE TO see a therapist. They may put you on seroquel. It's an anti psychotic. People who have bipolar disorder and psychosis typically use this.

            Anyhow, sorry for the long message. Hopefully I was helpful. If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to message me.

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