Is it normal that i tend to put people on pedestals and then knock them off?

I'll be the one to post a refreshingly non-dismissive comment just so you can hoist me up on that palanquin. Then I'll probably end up pissing you off and you'll chuck me off just as we're passing over the edge of the cliff.

In all seriousness though, I'm sure you don't do what you're doing deliberately, and it's healthy that you've recognized that you're doing it. It sounds like you have a kind of trust deficit in your life. Often, people who have been betrayed time and time again are desperate for someone who'll be one hundred percent on their side, but because that just doesn't exist, they begin a pattern of idealization and rejection.

You probably have a high need for acceptance, validation, and understanding, and the anger you feel when somebody doesn't live up to your standards or expectations is a defense mechanism you've built up over time. As you've recognized, it's not a logical or fair reaction, but it's obvious you can't help it anymore.

The ritual of rejection helps you feel in control. It takes away the power the person had over you to make you feel betrayed or disappointed in them. It's almost like you're spoiled royalty, but it isn't your fault that you were betrayed in the first place.

Because it's hard for you to let faults go in someone you perceive as faultless, I think the healthier option would be to try to be accepting of someone you already know to be flawed. In embracing someone that others dismiss, you'll learn to accept the faults in the kind of person you need for building back up your self esteem: those people you've put up on a pedestal.

I utterly empathize with your situation. When I was a teenger, I was the same way. I'd build people up in my mind only to push them away when the facade I'd created cracked. At first, I'd just let myself feel alienated and alone, but then I discovered, like you, if I told myself they were bad people, then I could get over the betrayal so much faster, but the grudges and fantasies of vengeance you seem to have are going too far. It's not too late, now that you've realized you have a problem, to take control.

What I realized that helped me get over my trust issues is that someone can totally love and appreciate you and STILL screw up and treat you with misunderstanding, dismissal, and selfishness sometimes, because we're all human. We make mistakes we regret. People with the purest hearts and the best of intentions are still self-serving sometimes, but it doesn't change how they feel about you. They're still on your side, even underneath it all on a bad day.

Letting others in will only help you so much; you've got to be your own friend too, and that's the main issue underneath it all. You'd never care so much about betrayal if you didn't feel alone when you were betrayed, and you feel alone because you don't respect, trust, or love yourself enough to be strong and build yourself back up when you've fallen. People are going to hurt you, but you've got to believe in your heart of hearts that you don't deserve it, and that you're better than that. When you truly feel you deserve to be loved, you'll realize you were all along.

You sound petty, insecure and immature. Try harder to be a decent person, everyone is fallible.

Maybe you have Borderline personality disorder?

You know what fear stands for? It stands for false evidence appearing real. It's the dark room where Satan develops his negatives.

I like what Koda said. Sometimes however you can put people from the opposite sex on pedestals, because you believe with all of the positive attention, you may have a chance to be with them romantically. If that is what you are doing, it is entirely different than what Koda has said. It is to boost your ego, no matter the cost of any other relationship in your life. This is fantasy at it's worst, including your own, and can destroy lives if you let it fester.

See people for who they are, not who you want them to be. Compare them with other people you know are kind, fair, decent and truly beautiful. See these people in different situations, with different clothes and haircolor, with different job titles, and then judge them. Do not build up a huge fantasy life with them in your mind, or you will never escape the fantasy trap.

You sound like a repugnantly hateful person

So you're like a kitty then