Is it normal that i starve myself and refuse to sleep for no particular reason?

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6 Comments

So... I'm a 19 year old skinny (but curvy) female.
I've never had any issues about my weight. In fact, I've always been happy with my body just the way it is.
However, sometimes I simply decide to stop eating. Idk, sometimes food just looks and tastes disgusting to me, and I feel somehow "clean" and "pure" for not eating. I don't know why, it's usually when I'm extremely bored or numb/aloof (and I've been constantly like that for the last few months) that I do this, and starving myself becomes this "fun" challenge, like, how much can I go on without any food. When the hunger starts to hit me really hard I just eat a tiny slice of cheese or something like that... Whenever my mom makes me anything to eat, I just throw it all away so no one has any idea about this strange habit. It's like my own private game.
When I see in the mirror how much weight i've lost I'm like 'wow, this sure is my newest record'. I know it sounds sick, sometimes I spend a week eating normally but then again 'eating' like a normal person starts to bore me.
My sleeping patterns are also weird. It's pretty much the same as with food. I sometimes decide to stop sleeping until I almost pass out just to test my limits; once I stayed up two days and two nights straight (my latest record) and got so proud of myself for being able to go to school and work without anyone noticing anything... Of course that if I closed my eyes for a second I would sure pass out, and if I even thought about the hunger I would immediately eat the first thing I saw.
But the whole challenge of controlling my most basic human needs and being able to hide this from everyone makes me feel somehow strong... I also like the feeling of extreme weakness, it's like I'm high on drugs or something like that.
Besides, when I finally decide to eat something or when I go to bed after like 48 hours, it's SO good. I like that too...
I wonder if this is a sickness or anything, tho I just think it's a weird habit that will go away over the years.

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13% Normal
Based on 71 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Randomgirl14311
    11 years ago

    I've always wanted to do that. I've always wanted to stay up for like 3 days an just crash and sleep forever. It seems fun but I can never stay up I get too tired

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  • 800imawesome
    11 years ago

    Anorexia... ya know, the mental illness that has killed millions of people total.

    Get some help : -/

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  • blackalica
    12 years ago

    i stayed up once for 1 1/2 weeks before. never......again...... and once i went bulimic for 2 months.... i lost 75 pounds..... i is got issues i knowz

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  • GingerRaine
    12 years ago

    That's how my anorexia started..

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  • rin
    12 years ago

    Some people develop anorexia that way.

    It sounds like you do it for the control. Do you feel like you have no control over your life or did something traumatic happen to you?

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  • karmasAbich
    12 years ago

    You just throw your food away? What a waste.
    The reason it will feel like you are on drugs is because you are killing brain cells with lack of sleep, causing more stress on your mental and physical health. Same thing goes for your unhealthy eating habbits. Your stomach lining will also be very unhappy with you.
    Get help. Good luck.

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