Is it normal that i resent my stepdaughter too the point that i cant stand her?

That would anger me greatly. Her daughter is going to grow up to be your typical self-entitled snob and will be hit like a ton of bricks by the real world when she realizes that a degree or a paycheck won't just be handed to her.

If they continue to not take your opinions and feelings in to consideration, then leave. In no way are you obligated to stay.

Frankly, it seems like the only solution that would end well for you is to run far away from this woman and that little twat. Obviously neither have any respect for you and you likely deserve better. The kid is only going to grow up to be an entitled asshat and you shouldn't have to put up with that nor a wife who is too oblivious and/or stupid to see what she's doing.

You should be hating the mum equally for not putting her foot down. It's your wife's fault more than the kid.

Totally normal and if she has no concern for your emotions it's not worth it

I feel this happens when parents split. Typically, neither one wants to be the "Bad/mean parent", so they will "spoil them rotten" in order to make sure their kid will continue wanting to come to their house.

Could it have something to do with divorce/absent parent issues? Many divorced parents go overboard with spoiling their children, perhaps they feel guilty and sometimes they are in a "competition" with the other parent. I'm not saying that it's right I'm just offering a possible explanation.

I could see why you are upset. Maybe you need to talk to your wife about it? Tell her how you feel. If that hasn't worked, then I'm not sure what will. You maybe could keep telling your wife that you are serious though, and all of this bothers you. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT let her know that you resent her, and do not start treating the step daughter like crap. That would be very wrong, and she is only 13...she is going through puberty and many changes in her brain(I have taken psychology classes)...it's just an adolescent phase. BUT, your wife is giving into every second of it as it seems...and that is just going to keep making it worse! If your step daughter knows she has control and can manipulate, she will continue. If the behavior isn't stopped, it can only get worse...and I don't believe that it would even be her fault. The fault is kind of on your wife sorry to say....Nature Vs. Nurture...

i thinks that you resent that she gets so much attention and you didnt get enough as a child and now

Times have changed very rare is it that you see a kid not acting like a spolit brat cause in reality this is the culture of todays kids which is a huge change from when u was growing up, your partner is simply showing her daughter her love in a way which might not appeal to u, maybe she jus wants her daughter to be happy and have a good childhood and cant c her actions in the way u du, im sure shes trying to be the best mother she can be, most parents want to spoil their kids and maybe she does it to compensate working so much in the day and so when she duz finish she can spend her time making her daughter feel happy and not neglected, mayb they feel ur being unreasonable, cuz lets face it her daughter is here to stay and partners come and go. Its just the way their relationship is.

If she only gets to see her daughter for an hour it might be she is making it up. If she spends a lot of time working she might feel bad. In her mind she might believe she does not spend enough time with her daughter.

If you think about staying with the woman long term and having a child with her, would you want your child being spoiled like that. Because if you don't, you'll have serious arguments about the possible-future-child's upbringing.

Honestly that is in no way your problem. If she can't afford to provide for herself or her kid without you, she had no business having her.

Problem is if i'm out of the picture they have nothing. And when I say nothing i mean no nice house and no nice things.

maybe you should just accept that her child comes before you. or leave.

I think it's your wife's fault too. Don't blame your step daughter that much, because her mother spoils her. Her mother shouldn't have spoiled her that much to begin with.

How do I know that this isn't a fake story?

mom feels guilt over the divorce and makes it up by kissing ass....get mom to talk about her guilt...if she comes to terms with it she wont people please so much

I have several times, my wife avoids confrontatation at all costs.

You should confront them.