Is it normal that i resent my husband because he doesn't have sex with me?

It's funny how people always say it's the womans fault why sex stops after marriage. But in reality it's the men that give up on the sex part. Usually though it means they are cheating and yes it is very hurtful and horrible to have to go through the man you are with not wanting to even touch you. Most men are assholes simple as that. Not all, but most.

Normally, I would say this is really not acceptable behaviour...but now being in a very similar situation...I'm beginning to understand exactly what this is like.

I feel for you. It really sucks.

Fuck him!!! He doesn't care how you feel about it, so why should you care!!! Leave his limp dick and find yourself someone who will give you what you need!!!

yes. humans can be disgusting little things although we are magnificent creatures. and im sure some hate for your husband could occur if he did'nt feed your lust. (one of the seven deadly sins by the way if you catch my drift.)
but as humans hates is easily created. and destroyed the same.

totally normal.

however i dont think IIN is the question...

i think the question should be how do you fix the fact that your husband does not want to engage in sex with you?

but honestly...if i had a wife and she cheated on me...i would not feel like your vagina meant anything to me anymore.
and you have to understand. sex is an act of love. not just getting off.

The RIGHT thing to do would be to confront your husband and let him know that you aren't happy with your sex life..if nothing changes and you feel you need sex to maintain the relationship then you need to end the marriage and THEN find somebody who has the same sexual appetite. You having relations with other men while you are married makes you a total slut. Sorry...but true. What he is doing is wrong but your response to the issues makes you an even worse person.

You can sit there explain why you did it, complete with crocodile tears and I still won't be moved. Why? Because you had the option to leave and you still do. No one made you cheat. All I read was excuses. There is no reason to cheat. Just leave his ass. If your husband treats you like shit, leave. One more time: Just leave his ass!!!! It doesn't make sense to me how anyone can be in a shitty relationship and think that cheating makes it better. Be a grown woman, take responsibility for your actions, and leave him instead of playing the blame game. You're too old to be doing that.

Oh and just because your self-esteem is low, doesn't mean it's okay to cheat. The key word in self-esteem is SELF. Stop depending on men to make you feel good about yourself. Get it together babe.

Sounds like it's about more than just sex. If you really loved your husband why would you do this to him?
I doubt very much that if you were to ask him directly "Please have more sex with me else I feel like slutting it up", that he wouldn't comply with this request.
Believe it or not, men love sex too.

Women cheats when there's a problem, men cheats when there's an opportunity.

i have this very same problem. where my girlfriend wants to have sex with me. but i lost interest in her. i wanna fuck other people. it just happenes. this mean your weak in the sack thats why your husband doesnt wanna fuck ur brains out like he used too.

I never understood what led women to cheat, even when they would say that the husband was never there for them etc... But I've been understanding more and more. I've been with my husband for eight years and married for two. I would NEVER cheat on him but I see why others might. Our sex life was fantastic before we moved in together and after that it fell to shit. I thought it would be even better when we got our own place, Wrong! I have way more sex drive than he does. He'd rather jerk off cus its easier. Nice. I'm lucky if I get some once a week. Its maddening!!!!! I would even hold off on pleasing myself with the hopes that he would give me some lovin. I got sick of depriving myself so now I reject him sometimes when he is actually in the mood. Then I end up taking it anyway cus I don't know when the next chance may be. I feel your pain woman, it totally suck. In your case though, since both of you have cheated, I think its best to part ways

if he does not want to have sex with you then i bet he is getting it elsewhere

Cheating on your husband is not acceptable, you should have been nice enough to have a talk about your issues, then if it went no where you should take out a separation.

anyways not judging you! I would feel desperate too in that situation. Women often see sex as a way a man shows he wants you and desire you, so I can understand if you have felt unwanted etc...but maybe there is a cause for why he does not want to be with you sexually?! maybe he did find out about you and his friend?

don't run, confront him and tell him how you feel!! you are a woman with sexual desires!!

I appreciate your responses. Let me clear up a few things. The guy I had an affair with first of all was just a good friend that was there for me when my husband and I fought. He saw it all and said my husband treated me like crap and I was too good for him. It may have been his plan to somehow take me away from a bad situation, but it wasn't my plan at all to sleep with him. I was abusing alcohol to cover up my hurt and got wasted and didn't even remember the 1st time. (Yes, I know, terrible)After I realized, I felt terrible and yes, like a slut. I trusted this "friend" and he listened and understood how I felt. He made me feel better. My husband lies to me a lot-over stupid stuff too! He's also been unfaithful at times in our relationship. I have a hard time trusting him. He knows I do. He also knows exactly how I feel about sex and our relationship, and how I'm disappointed. I've brought up splitting up, especially when the affair was going on, I even asked if he wanted me to just go find someone else to have sex with when he said he just didn't have as high a sex drive. I felt so bad cheating on him, yet resented him for not appreciating me or wanting to make love to a beautiful passionate woman. What's wrong with him? The sex was amazing with the other guy! Fun and thrilling while it lasted. Then I just felt so bad I couldn't really enjoy it anymore. I'm trying to understand and trust my husband, and not be angry at him every night. I told him I was lonely.

Yeah it's totally normal. So many girls go through this so don't worry u r not alone. My boyfriend wasn't giving me enough "attention" so we took a break and i hooked up with other people... he was actually mad at me for it.... Your husband probably has confidence issues and doesn't want to disappoint u. I feel bad bc this situation really sucks! Good luck!

yeah he knows,thats also why. its kinda normal but sleeping with his friend was a bitchy thing to do, some people could forgive you for the other guys but not for the friends

So you slept with his friend and you're surprised that he doesn't want to have sex with you? Don't be a ho and your problems might go away.

Did you guys use to have a lot of sex in the beginning of your relationship??? Cause that's where my problems heading we have been together going on 6 years and have had sex bout nearly everyday. But since two months ago it slowed down to like once a month, so I feel for you idk what to do either that's why I'm on your sight to find answers to and to find out if your relationship use to have sex all the time, hang in there sweet pea cause hell this is tough!

I have been dealing with the same issue. I completely feel your pain.And it's obvious some people just skimmed through your post instead of reading what order everything happened! My boyfriend and I of 7 years have never been on the same page sexually. He likes to bicker & debate everything which causes a lot of tension not the kind that results in make up sex either! We both had affairs and separated for a year, stupidly I missed everything else about him and we got back together, he has no interest in sex with me,I've accused him of cheating and being gay. he goes to sleep on couch every night and we may have sex once every 3-4 MONTHs! (And it's nothing memorable) (almost not worth it) I've had an amazing sex life my whole past so I KNOW IT'S NOT ME! he proposed for the 2nd time last Feb and I accepted in hopes my saying yes would change things for him, but IT HAS NOT! I've tried talking,begging,crying,and refusing to set a wedding date for a sexless marriage! He's where my problem differs....we went to the Bahamas and I finally got my sex TWICE in 1 month!!! NOW IM 4 months pregnant with a man who has sex with me 3 times A YEAR! He hasn't touched me once and I'm so hurt, lonely and angry I don't know what to do.

He's prob just got a really nice bitch on the side. Or maybe he's in to hookers.

get a boob job, i guarantee that will change his perspective relatively quick.

im married and my husband barely has sex with me. im 19 and hes 21. isnt that the peak of sexual lust? i dress up for him and i get nothing. i even beg to touch him or give head. im fit, D boobs, i take caare of myself and his friends think hes crazy for not having sex with me. he volunteered to go deploy without even reaching our 1 year. i feel so ugly.

If he was in faithful before and you new about it 100% the reason why he doesnt want to have sex with u is b/c he is getting it somewhere else sorry Hun. Move on you will be happier and it will relieve stress off you and him you both spot have to sneak around any more lol

Yah that's weird it's usually the other way around well at least in my situation I have to yell at my boyfriend cuz he wants to have sex all the time lol

this are all fakes, I used to bang my gf so much that she used to beg me for no more, an maybe I would consider. I believe men are like me in majority!

Hey, he could be using meth. With meth, they don't wanna have sex. I currently have the same situation and we used to be intimate constantly. I mean like everyday to every other day, now I am lucky if I get some once a monther or month & 1/2. The meth or other drugs gets them wacked out to the point where they don't understand why they're not physically interested in sex. AND can't finish... Don't blame yourself. If you truly love him and don't want to dissolve your marriage, fuck what everybody else says and do what feels good to you. He'll come around, eventually. Do what your heart tells you: if you want him, keep him; and still keep you sexual drive satisfied; wtf!!; it's a bitch when you see your man close to you and you know you can't get any. F*ck that, you get your f*ck on. Think about it that way, it's only a f*ck, just as you would go to McDonalds to satisfy your hunger for a Big Mac, you can also go elsewhere to satisfy your hunger for THEE BIG MAC!! lol You will never satisfy the world! You Go!!

Well you shouldn't even be married honestly, both of you probably deserve better than each other, you're just too slutty for your husband and he needs someone who won't cheat on him, while you need someone who will satisfy you sexually. I doubt there's anything that can be done to make your husband desire you sexually. Also you should stop trying to deal with your problems with alcohol.

Instead of resent your husband, you should have continued your sex activity with his friend. You have the right to get satisfaction, and your husband is not the first husband who's sex drive is under the average. In this situation this husband's friend helps his friend's wife is the most obvious and frequent solution of the problem. Husbands' usually do not mind it. Resentment never helps in this situation, it make the marriage even worse. Get your satisfaction with the friend, then be nice with your husband. This is the secret of the happy marriage and the friendship between the 2 men.

I just don't even know what to say

I'm going thru the same thing.. I ve never had Issues with any pass b/f not wanting to have sex with me or anything like that... so I never realize how important sex was in a relationship :( I feel so ugly even though I'm not, he makes me feel so insecure about my self it's so bad ... Were just 25 and have sex like once only on the weekends when tipsy or drunk :( it's so bad I've come to think that's his gay soo sad :( I also cheated on him few times with my ex I guess jut to boost my selfsteam.. I just don't know what to do I love him and I don't want to leave him .....

The questions you need to ask yourself is why did you marry him? What did you figure would change? Why are you still together? It is obvious you are a complete mis match. It is obvious you don't love him because your screwing around on him. Yes its normal to resent someone who doesn't want you but its sounds like you are using that to justify your actions. You should leave, wait until you find someone you are sexually compatible with but don't marry again until you can recognize what love is.

Wow tl;dr big time.