Iin, that i plan to kill myself if i'm wrongfully cited for a felony?

64% Normal
25 Comments

Innocent people get convicted and sent to prison all the time. It could happen to ANY of us. And in my case, it is a MORTAL danger. Why, you may ask?
Well, I'm something of a loner, without much in the way of family, friends, connections or money.
I'm a fairly good looking WHITE guy...
I'm not socially gifted, and my personality doesn't command respect or inspire liking very well.
And I'm not a very good fist fighter either (short arms and not very fast either.)
All this adds up to me likely facing a real challenge to defend my asshole if I ever end up in prison. I'd likely be dealing with romantic advances from the get-go... and I'd probably have no choice but to shank somebody, and do it within days of my arrival. My best chance at avoiding becoming a bitch, therefore, would be to commit murder (there goes my plea of innocence down the toilet.) I'd rather be dead than spend the rest of my life justifiably rotting in a prison cell.... And, I'd rather KILL OR DIE than lose my rectal virginity in any case - so I believe my wisest first action should I ever be falsely accused of a crime which carries a prison sentence, is to get to my shotgun ASAP - or make a grab for the arresting officer's gun, or the court bailiff's or whichever firearm I can get at - and proceed to turn my brains into chum bait. Anyone else plan on doing the same? IMHO, a smart man DOES think about contingencies like this, and plan for them!

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 58 votes (37 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • House
    13 years ago

    wow that's disturbing...why would you think about that kind of things?

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  • meatetarian
    12 years ago

    and I thought I was a pro at planning

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  • MasterPtolemy
    12 years ago

    Hey I agree with you, but maybe you're thinking about this more than you need to - however, given that this is, isitnormal.com, i doubt it - you were just thinking about it at a moment mostly because you lost a job you loved... totally ridiculous and unfair.

    The world aint peaches is it?

    Now here's something to think about - fuck what they think, fuck what's expected of us, fuck what the law says.

    I believe in equal rights, and opportunity. I believe in standing up for what is right, and taking up for yourself. You can be the weakest human being on the planet and you know what? You can sit there and do nothing and that will be construed as strong because you are standing up for what you believe in.

    ... and if anyone has a prob with that they can go fuck themselves. The fact is, if some asshole comes up to me with a gun on his hip he'd better be ready to use it, and yes, there is justice in that.

    We are all people, and while we should utilize society by not taking things into our own hands, we should also be aware that society isn't always going to work for us...

    don't get me wrong - some people will never have to worry about this - they will live in their white picket fences forever.

    Lucky them. This post infuriates me.

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  • eternalsmoke31
    12 years ago

    Prison isnt all that anal rape you crave so much....It happens but just try not to be a target and chances are you wont be one....

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  • AmvEditor
    12 years ago

    I made the same plan with you, when i was only 14. But me as an atheist if shit happens and i go to prison i will first kill and then kill myself.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    No comment.

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  • LoveYouBabe
    13 years ago

    May God bless you. Well I heard that rapist get special attention and are in safe keeping from the other bad men. Just a thought!

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  • t7796
    13 years ago

    i like the way you think!

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  • SassyFrassyLassie_old
    13 years ago

    I just want to write it again: Good plan.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Pussy. Takin the easy way out.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      How is killing yourself, and possibly facing an eternity of mega-torture taking the easy way out? (I'm not religious but as an agnostic (not atheist!), I acknowledge that possibility. Although I'll risk that POSSIBILITY, over the CERTAINTY of gang-rape by horny yard apes (as a "pretty" white guy!!!)

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  • ceepoos
    13 years ago

    if you do go to jail and anyone fucks with ya, fight them anyway....if ya lose ya lose, but you gain respect...they love that shit

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      We're talking about DEGENERATES here, NOT honorable men ceepoos. I'm a white guy without street creds. WHITE MEAT, with neither mad fightin' skilz, nor a Perry Mason lawyer, nor money from the outside... The black or Spanish gang members would either group-jump me, or just keep coming back until I got knocked out and then they'd fuck me when I was unconscious. Punked out, either way.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Don't do anything illegal and you'll be fine. Obsessing over something that might not even happen and most likely won't is stupid.

    Get a job if you don't have one, keep on the straight and narrow, don't steal, deal drugs or anything else illegal and you've nothing to fear.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      Murphy is alive and well, and mistakes happen BlackRoseVale. Should I ever end up in this kind of pickle, I'd damned well better be prepared for it (and we're becoming a more totalitarian, easy-for-loners-to-get-in-trouble society with every passing year!)

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      • [Old Memory]
        13 years ago

        Who's Murphy? Or am I missing something obvious, I can be completely dense sometimes.

        But I have Social Anxiety and rarely if never go out of the house and I have no actual friends. Guess that makes me a loner.

        But I'm not so paranoid as to envision myself going to jail. Twenty years from now, you won't be in jail let alone near going to jail.

        Society might be changing etc. but it's you as a person who makes your choices, no one else. I'm not going to jail because I choose not to do something that will result in me being incarcerated.

        I'm just not getting where you're coming from with your mindset.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          13 years ago

          BlackRoseVale, you may find me "paranoid" but the fact is that we DON'T live in a world of sunshine, bunnies, and happy Smurfs. Ugly shit happens and when it does, it likes to surprise people. I'm a single never-married guy who has trouble holding jobs, and I strike most people as somewhat eccentric, to put it mildly. I lost one job I LOVED AND TOOK PRIDE IN because a client found me "creepy" and said so to my boss (and to this day I don't know what the fuck I did, I was DOING MY BEST TO ACT PROFESSIONAL!!! I certainly wasn't trying to flirt with her or anything!) What happens if some attention-seeking kid in my neighborhood claims "that weird guy who lives alone tried to touch me down there?" (This sort of thing happens more often than you think!) OR a rape occurs in the park near my home? Or any other situation where people are looking for a scapegoat. Yes indeed, Mr. Murphy (as in Murphy's law) is alive and very well indeed. I'll play it smart... I'll be prepared!

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          • [Old Memory]
            13 years ago

            I have to say im with you on this one

            and im getting annoyed with people saying 'dont do anything illigal' sometimes you have no choice as ive actually seen some cases where a bugler breaks into a house and the house and the house owner confronts them and ends up killing them just trying to defend themsleves....and they end up goin to prison for murder or man-slaughter

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I respect you sir

    A real man would think like you

    I'm a real man

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    So is going to get your prostate checked be considered rape and be part of your plan?

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  • SassyFrassyLassie_old
    13 years ago

    Good plan.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You do know that MIGHT not happen as munch as people say. I'm just wondering why would you have too think about it so much that you got that long of a post out of it

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    As an ex cop who worked for the prison system I hate to let you down but if someone wants to make you their bitch...it WILL happen.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      That's what I've been trying to say here, randomjelly. (Let's see anyone try to make my dead body their bitch..!)

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    Closet case. Most men don't sit around and plan out fantasies about being ass raped in prison. Good luck with that.

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