Is it normal that i only seem to be able to bond with girls with problems?

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13 Comments

I very seldom get infatuated and rarer still fall in love. But I seem to have an affinity for investing emotionally in girls with problems, particularly ones that self-harm, self-loathe and have underdeveloped social skills and emotional intelligence.

Such girls often possess many qualities such as amazing intelligence and creativity, yet they can also be very problematic to talk to and be around. And that's what makes me interested in them - I seem to enjoy the intensity of a so-called "love/hate relationship". Girls with no such flaws just don't seem as interesting to me. Furthermore, I seem to awaken some sort of "protector instinct" or something for girls with problems, I feel like their older brother or something.

I would like to stress that this has nothing to do with sexual turn-ons, it's purely an emotional thing.

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 27 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • college
    10 years ago

    I can see why they'd be more interesting, but I don't think it's necessarily healthy for you or her.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Where are all you men hiding?? I must know.

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  • Shackleford96
    10 years ago

    I tend to do this as well. I'm usually drawn to the ones that are fucked up in the head for some reason...

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  • sonofhawk01
    10 years ago

    I have few friends, and have difficulty relating with guys my age, but whenever one of my friends who's a girl has problems, I listen. I know I'm probably just being friendzoned, but I can't stand to see any of my friends in any sort of emotional pain, and do whatever I can to help. In my experience, girls who are otherwise -- popular, perfect, etc. -- are usually shallow and not worth the effort.

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  • SchizoidPsycho
    10 years ago

    I need a non-damaged guy in my life who feels like this.

    All my life I been waiting for a saviour thinking I could fix two decades of trauma in one relationship, oh boy was I wrong.

    Now i only want a relationship with a damaged guy cause he's the only one who can understand me but that would be HELL, and we'd kill each other in one week.

    So now I want a smart man with a 'Hero complex' who views me as a case study as is fascinated by my lack/disregard for emotional intelligence, who I can eventually fall for (if that's even possible)...and live happily ever after...MYTH.

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    • Xfing
      10 years ago

      That would be fun! Too bad I live a bit far :D

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      • SchizoidPsycho
        10 years ago

        :(

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  • Tommythecat.
    10 years ago

    You're an evil emotion eater.

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    That is me too! I not sure why.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I "kind of" feel the same. I think such girls are more interesting. It reminds me of a girl in one of my college courses. She had a lot of problems, never talked to people, and so on. She used to stare at me quite a bit, so I thought I had my opening and did.

    It's just something I find interesting in females in that sense, however I just hate the ones that claim to have problems or exaggerate problems to seem like one of these girls, as there aren't many around.

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    I get where you're coming from. It's possible that maybe you like them because they have problems similar to your own? Like they're just as messed up as you are and at least admit it, unlike some people who like to walk around as if they are flawless. Although that doesn't necessarily make them smug, just thought I'd add. But anyways, yeah I've heard people say the same thing as you. Honestly I think it really is just because they're honest about being messed up and I'm sure that in some way you yourself feel a bit broken at times.

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    • Xfing
      10 years ago

      Actually nah, I wouldn't say it's a "kindred soul" thing. I don't really identify with self-harm, self-loathing or suicidality, not at all. Actually I would say that I'm a pretty normal person, whose only major problems are procrastination, lack of ambition and envy towards others for their ambition.

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      • Anime7
        10 years ago

        Eh, it was just a theory anyways. I still think it's normal. At least you won't be bored in the relationship.

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