Is it normal that i never said anything then, but now i feel bad that i didn't?
In the 3rd grade, my teacher at the time arranged to set me up with this man who was affiliated with the school to be my math tutor. I used to see him around. He was probably in his mid-late 40's at the time. I remember making a fuss about having this guy as my tutor. Something about him sort of rubbed me wrong.
Anyway, this man was going to be my tutor. I needed the help whether I liked it or not. But the things the guy did just seemed wrong to me.
The first session seemed to go ok. He was just getting the gist of how I was as a student. That didn't bother me. However, it wasn't until probably a few more sessions in that things started to become rather strange. He always gave me compliments. He told me I was very pretty and that I would probably grow up to be a beautiful young woman. Seemed nice. But he would do weird things like; close his blinds in his little office/room whenever we had a session, he'd also lock the door. Then he had this long table where he'd sit across from me, and he always had his hands underneath the table, and play with himself. Meanwhile, I'd be working on some assignment that he gave me to do. Sometimes it was so incredibly obvious, b/c he would make weird facial expressions, breathe excessively harder/louder, and sometimes even put his head back. One day, as he walked me to the door, I could see his zipper was down. I looked right at it, and he looked at me with a smirk on his face. He knew I saw it! He zipped it back up. As I turned to walk out of the room, he put his hand on my butt. I felt really uncomfortable at that moment. So when the next session came, I tried to sneak a peek under the table while he sat across from me. But he came to an abrupt stop, and took one of his hands out from under the table, & tapped my work saying; "Focus". It was so awkward.
In between these sessions, I would tell my friends that he creeped me out. One day I finally spilt everything to them. They felt bad for me, & told me that I should tell someone. But for some reason, I couldn't. At home, I would tell my mom that I didn't like him. But whenever she would ask why, I never elaborated. Somedays I would even say to my mom, "I really don't think I need help anymore." She never got the hint! He always walked around the halls, and w/e he saw me, he would say hi, & try to talk to me. One day, I wasn't having it anymore! I gave him the cold shoulder. But he said to me that it was rude to not acknowledge somebody when they're speaking to you. To make matters worse, he wasn't really helping me. I was still just scraping by in that damn subject! As a result, my mom wanted me to still go to him. I got really desperate, and cheated on my math tests. I never got caught, and its not something I was proud of. I only did it up until my mom finally said I didn't have to go to him anymore. But that wasn't until the middle of the 4th grade! I was with him for almost 2 years! And throughout this period, he thankfully, never raped me, but still!! It was wrong!
The day that my mom decided I didn't have to be tutored by him anymore was the morning she drove me to school. I harped on how I really thought I understood the math, and that I could do it on my own. How he's a weird guy, I don't like him. I even started to cry. Thats when she said to me; "Oh God, I hope he isn't doing things to you!! You better tell me if something is going on!!" But I still never told her. FINALLY, she said I didn't have to go to him anymore. Later on, when I was in the 7th grade, their was a rumor that he got fired. People were saying that he was doing some shady things. Now, for some reason, this all seems to matter more to me. Its been years. I'm 20 yrs old, and feel like I should've said something. Is it normal that I didn't? Should he have been reported? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I mean, he never whipped it out, so its not like indecent exposure, but it was clear what he was doing.