Is it normal that i may still b in love with an ex after years of not talking

4 Comments

I am very unhappily in a relationship with my current boyfriend (William). We grew up together. Left the Amish and had children. I think we r more like best friends than we r boyfriend and girlfriend but we sleep in the same bed and we just live our lives like a married couple. We have two kids that we love dearly and life just seems normal. 15 years ago I met a man who was always there and always helped me through this relationship with William as we do have some problems. I never crossed the line and slept with this man (jimmy) but I dreamt of it. I quickly cut all ties with Jimmy because I thought that eventually we were going to end up in a cheating mess and I didn't want that to happen. I've been with my William for over 25 years. I've never been with another man. Well I bumped into the Jimmy last week and between texts and phone calls and even sneaking away to meet so that we can talk and be around each other I just can't get him out of my mind. My current boyfriend Wiliam and I have not had any sexual relations for about three years now so idk what I really want out of this Jimmy but Is This normal to feel this strongly where he consumes my day and I feel so special around him? Should I tell him to stop calling and texting or should I keep meeting him secretly to talk and a hug goodbye? I don't know what to do or if this is even normal. I feel like I'm cheating when I'm not and I feel like I'm going to hell but our feelings r so strong I can't ignore this :(

Stop talking to Jimmy 1
Keep talking to Jimmy but don't cross the line 0
Tell William about Jimmy 4
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Comments ( 4 )
  • iEatZombies_
    8 years ago

    You're walking on a thin line. You need to say goodbye to one of them and keep it that way.

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  • loopiesoupie
    8 years ago

    You said that you are unhappy with William. You have known William more than long enough to know whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with him and he is right for you or not and it sounds like he's not. The fact that you have feelings for someone else makes your relationship with William an empty one. You're dissatisfied and you know it. William deserves to know the truth. Even though you have not cheated on him physically, you are cheating on him emotionally. You love Jimmy, not William and William deserves to be with someone who truly loves him. Of course it will be painful if you tell him but the truth would set you both free.
    What was it like to be Amish??

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  • DEATHBRINGER1232
    8 years ago

    I don't really see a problem, other than hour anxiety.
    In my opinion, tell your bf about Jimmy.
    If he really loves you, then he'll listen and understand.

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  • Mcanary75
    8 years ago

    Thank you everyone for commenting!! It has really been hard to kind of work through everything going on in my head with this. I was raised better and know better so I feel horrible that I even allowed myself to be in a position like this. William and I grew up together and grew apart together you could say. We have two great kids aged 11 and 9 and at this point I think that I have just decided to raise the kids and stay with Will. We have signed up with a psychiatrist and are going to at least try counseling and see how that goes. Ahhhh to grow up Amish was awesome actually. I loved everything about it compared to this English lifestyle. There are no worries, no enemies, no thoughts of how am I going to pay this bill or that bill this month type thing. It seems like it is so stressful living out here and I can always go back even when I am old and gray, I would be shunned for a year but once amish always amish and they will never turn anyone away. I am actually in the process of getting identification out here in the english world which has been so hard as I never had a birth certificate nor a social number - I was born in a house and the Bishop's wife gave birth to me, left at 18 and 20 years later I finally am trying to become someone to the state of NY!! So far I am in it for a year but hopefully soon I will be able to drive legally and even obtain a job, go to college and become something you know? William has always provided for our family so I've never had to do anything but clean the house and be with my children. The reason I left was mostly my mother, once me and my sister - we are twins, turned 18, she took us away from a very abusive father and William was right there to help us through. Again I want to thank you all for commenting and I read them all as soon as they were here - you really helped me to think things through and be honest with the whole situation. Jimmy's will come and go but William has always been there and I need to stay with the man who I know would never ever give up on me. I have stopped talking to Jimmy. I did tell Will about him and the threat of another man made him not only very jealous but a little controlling as he wanted to know where I was at all times type thing for a few days but after we sat down and talked more about it he agreed that he has pushed me away and that he is irrational at times. He mentioned that he started taking stereroids and then I just knew the reason why he changed so we are working through it and hopefully soon we will learn to love each other again :)

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