Is it normal that i masturbate in church?

24% Normal
13 Comments

Church is a highly sexualized place for me. I think it is sexy that Mary could be spiritually fucked to get pregnant with Jesus.

So, I go to church when it is empty, place a dirty romance novel over the pages of a bible, and discretely rub my crotch.
I am I normal?

Voting Results
24% Normal
Based on 21 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • shuggy-chan
    9 years ago

    Sounds like something you shoild confess to your "father"

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    • Fall_leaves
      9 years ago

      Bless me father for I have sinned, it's been 4yrs since my last confession, these are my sins, double penetration before marriage with two burley fishermen, lying about being double penetrated by two burley fisherman before marriage, allowing stranger on a train to jackoff on my face, lying again, and lastly for humping my roommates pillow like a feisty little chihuahua in heat, meow meow. I'm sorry for these sins and for the sins I no longer remember.

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      • anti-hero
        9 years ago

        I wondered how I got snail trails on my pillow.

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        • Fall_leaves
          9 years ago

          my apologies, my apologies.. **shamefully averts eyes**

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          • anti-hero
            9 years ago

            You owe me $1.25 for the washing machine.

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      • shuggy-chan
        9 years ago

        Oh my child please don't hesitate to leave out any details about the two burly fisherman

        Like distinguishing scars or hooks for hands, or even girth size for that matter

        http://m.9gag.com/gag/aKzNmOO/heavy-breathing-cat-animated

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        • Fall_leaves
          9 years ago

          One had a heart tattoo on his left buttcheek with the name Gary in the center. Everytime he hollered "Gary?" the other seaman would say "what, you cunt faced whore, arrrrrr!" I'm suspecting that was Gary, he smelled like a tuna fish sandwich and man.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Priests just masturbate in their "telephone booth" when they hear confessed dirty stories anyway.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Normal? No, I don't think so. But enlightened? Without a doubt!

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  • la_uva_mojada
    9 years ago

    Perfectly normal if you're a member of the vatican

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    The Passion of Cock.

    What do you want to bet that church porn will become the next big thing?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Church porn is already a big thing.

      Btw, my passion for cock is far more compelling than the irrelevant bible. I have never understood why so many people fucking obsess about it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    lol

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