Is it normal that i'm still angry at my exfiance for knowingly giving me herpes

95% Normal
9 Comments

My exfiance never told me he had herpes. Months into our relationship and after we were engaged I contracted herpes. He said he had a flare up and that was why. He never told me he had herpes!!
He passed it off like it was nothing and didn't even apologize. Obviously I left him! I was horrified and there was no chance I could ever trust him again!
That was 15 years ago and I am still angry about it. I feel ruined for any other man. I haven't been with a man since and don't date because of what he gave me. Who would want me like this? If I ever did date, I would tell them right away, but I feel too dirty to date anyone.
Because of this, I hold intense anger against my ex because he ruined my life. I am very bitter about it.

Voting Results
95% Normal
Based on 38 votes (36 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 )
  • pixie44
    9 years ago

    I would sue the fuck out of him

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I recently heard of someone actually doing that. I asked a lawyer I know about it out of interest. Apparently because it happened so long ago, tI can't go after him legally.
      Apparently he still dates and who knows how many other women he has infected.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • Anonymous Post Author
        9 years ago

        I called public health about his dating habit of not telling people he has HSVII. I know they will follow up on cases of people transmitting STD's to others and not telling them. Because it is not one of the infections they are most concerned with, they won't do anything. Even our own government run health agencies won't help prevent it. I was shocked.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I believe you should have introduced his male parts to a very, very sharp knife.
    I would be furious, too, and not at all forgiving even after 15 years.
    But what I would not have done was let him ruin my sex life. There must be thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of folks out there with herpes. There must be internet dating sites up the wazoo for those with it, so I don't see why you are abstaining. You aren't hurting him at all; only yourself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      You're very kind to say that.
      Like I mentioned to JD777, it is harder to deal with because of all the nasty jokes about it. You hear them everywhere. I don't know of any other infection that is so ridiculed and made fun of. It makes me feel even more dirty and unworthy. I don't think people realize how much making those hurtful jokes about it hurts people who have been infected.
      I wish more people had your attitude. Unfortunately, most people don't.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        None of which excuses you for punishing yourself for something you are not responsible for.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          You are so right. I just need to think that way somehow. It's hard.
          I wish there were more out there like you.
          Thank you.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • JD777
    9 years ago

    What he did was wrong and you should be angry. But 60-90% of adults have either Herpes type I or II. 80% of them are not diagnosed by a doc, so may not know they're infected. So, you are in the majority. Most guys you meet will also have herpes.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I still feel uncomfortable with the idea of meeting someone and telling them that I have it.
      What doesn't help are all the nasty jokes about it out there. You hear them in public, on the radio, in movies, around friends (they don't know I have it) etc.
      It just makes the whole idea of having it even worse. I don't know of any other infection that is so ridiculed and made fun of.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0