Is it normal that i'm seeing all these signs regarding my bf ?

67% Normal

So ever since I realized that my boyfriend carries some similarities with my sister, Ive been freaking out about the idea and possibility of him leaving me for her, or at least have a crush on her and its just downhill from there. It just really sucks how right after the other, its just something else they have in common, from taste in movies to hobbies to humor to style etc. So Ive had like two dreams of them kissing and flirting. I know that when you think about something often, you end up dreaming about it so Im not freaking out THAT much but it still sucks how I saw them kissing. Recently though, Ive seen I think about three time times where the bf ends up with the sister of his ex-gf. First, it was a comment on an article then I came across a celebrity leaving their gf for her sister and another example.

So now I'm like wth? Why do I keep seeing these instances? Go away. Is this a sign? Is the universe telling me that this might happen to me? I remember I was seeing instances of sleeping being a sign of depression when I get sleepy and I think Im depressed and people said that yes, the universe is telling me that Im depressed. Is this the same thing? If it is, holy f*ck I seriously dont know what to do because I dont care how f*cked up this sounds but I rather break with my sister than with my boyfriend. Im in love with my bf, I wanna be with him forever. Ive never been close to my sister, I dont trust her, we co-exist for the most part but yeah, we don't get along and I just dont like her.

So what am I to do? They have met each other like three times very briefly but not to the point where they have gotten to hang out and get to know each other. Thats what I fear. Once they do, he will gain feelings. Plus, my sister has already gave out hints that she thinks hes cute. She has a bf and she is serious with him but nothing an prevent you from having feelings for someone. Im just scared that they are each other's soulmates. So what do I do? Do I end it now with him? before it gets too far and he leaves me and embarrasses me forever? or do I wait and risk it?

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67% Normal

Based on 18 votes (12 yes)

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Comments ( 11 )

TF4H

8 years ago

You should wait and calm down.
Usually when you fear something, that's when you notice whatever it is you fear all around you. It's kind of like how if someone who's really scared of spiders will always be that person to notice spiders everywhere they go.
The universe is not sending you signs.
Celebrity scandals and all that jazz happens all the time and it's constantly out on display, for everyone to read, wherever you go.
Those dreams of yours are caused by your own insecurities of your boyfriend leaving you.
I would work on being more secure in your relationship and separating your assumed reality from actual reality.
I hope your relationship works out.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Thank you.
  I mean yes I have tried several times to be secure and confident, especially when I think about the positives. However, I can't bear to ignore my fears only to find out I was right. You know so lets say we all do hang out, and I know its in the back of my mind but I ignore it cause "its not true." Then it just so happens they do have feelings for each other so it ends up being true and I just lied to myself.
  This happens many times I mean like why wouldn't it? including with celebs. I dont think celebs left their partners for publicity. What I read anyways was way in the past before those celebs were famous. So all these signs are just annoying to see. But even if the signs are nothing, Im still stressed over it. I can't help but feel really sad and disappointed and super frustrated at the world for putting me in this position. Especially with someone who I love so much. If it was just any bf okay then f*ck it whatever its over but not with him. The best way to find out is if we all do hang out and just observe how they are with each other. I dont know if Ill be able to act normal.
  I know I might be overreacting but like I said, it could come true so Im just trying to prepare myself but I dont even know how to prepare myself since I dont want to leave him. If he gains feelings for her while she has a bf then the best thing to do is separate but like i also said, I wish I can separate from her and not him.
  
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  - TF4H
    
    8 years ago
    
    You can't control people around you or who they fall in love with.
    It would be tragic if your insecurities were actually caused by something real between them. And IF that happened, there's nothing you can do but let them both go (since you said you weren't close with your sister either) and move on with your life. You would eventually find someone else. Your heart has room to move on to a new love and be fully committed in the new relationship.
    BUT- since you are not certain, it would, indeed, be best to not act on your assumptions. Ironically, you'll be pushing him away.
    Being in love with someone and deeply invested in the relationship/that person, makes everyone a little crazy or over emotional. Especially if the thought that "you might lose them" pops in your mind. It doesn't go away. That fear makes a home in your head and can lead you to do irrational things, even though, it felt rational at the time.
    Just be conscience of what you do and how it effects those around you.
    
    *Side Note*
    Tealights's advice down there is solid. You should definitely do that, communicate with your boyfriend.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      I know, I understand what you're saying about "pushing him away." Its happened already and once I notice theres tension because of whats going on in my head, I stop right away and make it up to him. At this point, he's innocent and Im making up scenarios. But like I said, I can't help but feel a possibility. I am always honest with myself so I can't just pretend like theres nothing there.
      
      Right now, my bf and I are actually doing really good. Ive noticed a change in him where he shows me appreciation and love a lot which makes me feel like hell never betray me so the idea of him doing so just breaks me. Like u said in the beginning, the best thing to do is wait but i really have to let it go and just trust he loves me. Its also just that I have such bad luck and I wouldnt be surprised if the outcome turns out to be what I feared.
      
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Tealights

8 years ago

To summarize everything you wrote: I don't trust my boyfriend.

That's all I'm reading. If you trust that he cares and love you as much as you do for him, then your sister wouldn't stand a chance, no woman would. There are always going to be women trying talk to your boyfriend whether you're there or not, just like how men will try to talk to you.

To solve this problem you're having, you need to talk to your boyfriend about the relationship you two share and where it's going. Be honest with him. You need to restore that trust and loyalty for each other.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Well I am happy to say that right now, he shows me how much he appreciates me and loves me. I trust him but as a person, he could also be a little spontaneous. Hes even told me before that he doesn't deserve me and I am too good for him. But like i said, recently hes been sucha good boyfriend to me. He has some good and bad sides that just switch off. So that can contribute to him acting on some bad behavior when its time. I trust that he loves me but him as a person? Not sure.
  
  I would talk to him but based on his actions lately, I feel like his actions speak for themselves which is a good thing. But it wouldnt hurt to ask however, I dont know how I would ask. He gets a little uncomfortable around confrontation.
  
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Livellovelife

8 years ago

Tell how u feel c what he says

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  I think that would make things extremely awkward if I told him about my fear.
  
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  - DavefromAutoglass
    
    8 years ago
    
    I'm sorry to tell you but he has more than likely at least imagined banging her or your mother even. But if he really loves you, he would've put those thoughts immediately to the back of his mind and only thought of you. For us guys, it's a just a thing we do almost unintentionally to almost all women we see (except family ofc) so you shouldn't worry.
    
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Steve02

8 years ago

Well, engage in a duel with your sister.

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- 53739
  
  8 years ago
  
  pillow fight plz
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i'm seeing all these signs regarding my bf ?