Is it normal that i'm not taking a more active role in relationships?

7 Comments

In highschool I had two girlfriends both of which broke up with me. The first cheated on me with an older guy three times. The other one just kinda lost interest. I was friends with both of them for years before they surprised me with wanting to date me. I hung out with both of them all the time while we were at school but I didn't call them or anything from home. I would have been open to stuff if they had suggested something; but... I don't know. Even after I got dumped by them both we were still friends so there's that. So did I mess up royaly in both of these relationships or what?

It's pretty normal 4
No it's wierd 0
you should change 1
Look for someone that works with you 8
A fifth choice? yolo 3
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Comments ( 7 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    First off, "I would have been open to stuff if they had suggested something;", whoa, there fella. Even in this age of sexual equality, most girls want the guy to do the suggesting; mistake #1.
    "I didn't call them or anything from home", if you read IIN enough, you hear girls complain about guys not communicating; "He's great when we're together, but he never texts me/he doesn't return my texts," etc. Mistake #2
    From the sound of it I'm sure there were others.
    Read what the young girls post on here and pay attention. It's like a road map to dating in the 2010's. I wish it had been that easy when I was your age, to get an insight into how the young girls were thinking.

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    • Toball
      9 years ago

      First off I meant like going on a date or to the movies or something; sex was an entire other thing. Second I live out in the woods and don't get cell reception so I never saw a point in getting a cellphone. Third a road map you say? Hmm... I'll have to take a look. Thanks for all the advise.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Do you know why society suggests a male make the first move when it comes to forming a romantic relationship and/or things like going on dates, etc? Because society also deems woman who "run after men" to be desperate and therefore unnatractive and undatable. So, yes, you should be taking a more active role in your relationships if you expect them to go anywhere at fucking all.

    If you just aren't interested in having a relationship then fine, don't have one, but don't make the conscious descision to engage in one and then not give it the attention it needs to thrive into something deeper. Unless you're one of those people who likes to have as many meaningless and casual relationships as possible, I suggest you speak to someone older about how relationships work. Perhaps they have some insight for you.

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  • Unimportant
    9 years ago

    Do you want my opinion or the prevalent opinion in our society?

    Mine - it's normal.

    Society's - you have a penis, therefore you have to do more in a relationship.

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    • Toball
      9 years ago

      I appreciate individual opinions more than "societys" garbage; so thanks for taking the time to answer.

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  • deepthought33
    9 years ago

    So you were just sort of blase about the whole thing? Feel distant emotionally at all? Are you possibly gay?

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    • Toball
      9 years ago

      Well with both of them it didn't really feel that much different from when we were friends (exept for the hand holding and stuff). I'm still not sure about how it is to truely like someone I supose. I am pretty sure I'm not gay based off my prefrences.

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