Is it normal that i'm not sure if i want children yet?

97% Normal
7 Comments

So I'm at that point in my life now where I've been in a dedicated relationship for a long time and I'm pretty sure the girl I'm with is the one for me, but every time she brings up kids and how she can't wait to have them with me I just get all like... Ew. It's nothing to do with me disliking kids cause I don't mind em, it's just that I don't know if I'm cut out for being a father. is it normal to still be so unsure about it?

Voting Results
97% Normal
Based on 30 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    I think it's pretty normal. I've heard of guys that were unsure about having kids, then ended up having kids and were glad they did it. Of course, it's not the same for everybody. Just saying.

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  • Aliceee93
    8 years ago

    You have to ask yourself if you ever want kids? If you don't and she does then... will it work? Tell her you aren't ready yet if your not. Just don't lead her on. Most women dream of having a big wedding and a nice family.
    Some people don't have or want kids, its normal. But talk to her about it.

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  • mystery7
    8 years ago

    Yes it's normal. Not everyone has to be a breeder.

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    • seekelp
      8 years ago

      That kind of attitude is what's ruined America.

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      • mystery7
        8 years ago

        I don't live in America so that does not concern me.

        I don't happen to be one of the people who has no desire for children, but I know plenty of people who simply don't want them. Better that they don't have kids, rather than have them and do an absolutely shit job of raising them.

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  • ucipher8
    8 years ago

    On the one hand you are in a "dedicated" relationship so the topic of kids shouldn't be a surprise to you. Your other half is already in a position where she is comfortable enough to talk about it but you obviously aren't "ready".

    The other hand is this; she's looking at the next level and she wants to know where you are at with it. You aren't sure, because you don't know if you would be a good enough father.

    Whether or not you mind kids, or whether or not you want kids in your life. Its extremely clear that she does and you really should be addressing your concerns about parenthood with her, not us (the IIN community).

    Talking about having kids might be something left best, after marriage. But getting married can be expensive, and getting divorced seems to be extremely popular.

    Then again you could just get her knocked up one night and be a father overnight, you wouldn't be the first.

    If i were you, i'd talk to her about it and let her know your stance. So that if she does happen to get pregnant overnight - she'd be pregnant with your child and not someone else's. More importantly, she'd be pregnant with your child and not have to "feel" alone.

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  • LonelyLeafeon710
    8 years ago

    Wait it out a bit. But don't have kids if both of you aren't on the same wavelength. No one should compromise their happiness for someone else regarding children.

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