Is it normal that i keep falling for the same type of guys?

89% Normal
16 Comments

So I have only been in two relationships, one very long and another just a short one.

My first guy (long term relationship) was sentimental, caring, loving, gentle and soft. I was by far a stronger personality, in a sense that he would let me make most decisions.

The second guy I fell for was also sentimental, loving, caring, gentle and soft. He always sleeked my approval and I was again the stronger personality.

They were both the kind of men who put other's needs in front of their own.

Let me just say, that after my first, long term relationship, I decided I wanted a man who would be a stronger personality than me, not afraid to speak his mind, and disagree with me when necessary, however, I still managed to fall for the same type of guy.

Why is this? What is wrong with me?

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 18 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    Rather than being the boss and asserting authority, why not be a LEADER. There is a huge difference. Leaders understand teamwork, they trust people, and are good at allocating jobs that match peoples best skills. They are the first to the feel synergy that that makes the team output more than the sum of its parts.

    Leaders win respect effortlessly. Bosses demand it in futility.

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    • derpyderp
      9 years ago

      Because "like a leader" just doesn't have the same ring to it...

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    A good relationship is an equal partnership, not a pissing contest. Until you learn that, no relationship will work very well.
    There's nothing wrong with a little role playing in the bedroom, but it shouldn't dominate your relationship. I don't think it's your choice in guys quite so much as your attitude toward your partner.

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    • RoseIsabella
      9 years ago

      I'm with you on that, Brother! Equality and mutual respect are the name of the game for a healthy relationship.

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    • mountain-man82
      9 years ago

      Also very well said!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Oh, I was not referring to anything bedroom related!

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Some day you will regret how you feel now.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Why is that? By being the stronger personality in a relationship, I feel like a total bossy b#%%h which is not what I want to be :(

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        That's not why. The reason I said that was that you rejected guys that seemed otherwise pretty good. There's no telling who could be next but loving and caring are traits you should value in somebody.

        I do understand that people who are indecisive can be pretty annoying, but nobody is going to be prefect in everything.

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        • mountain-man82
          9 years ago

          Very well said!

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  • Mersaphe
    9 years ago

    Society tells you that you should be attracted to assholes, but your heart says otherwise,

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  • ygrowup
    9 years ago

    Your thinking to much about things, love just happens and most like you attracted to ascertain type of person

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  • derpyderp
    9 years ago

    Sounds like you're going for nice guys that are a little too nice, too eager to please & scared of losing you if they disagree with anything you say or have a different point of view to you.

    Any chance both of these guys are a bit inexperienced with relationships?

    I agree with others that these are good qualities in moderation & they sound like great guys but I know from experience that a lot of girls hate pushovers.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Correct. They were both inexperienced.

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      • mountain-man82
        9 years ago

        With what he said about them being scared to lose you, make sure you arent putting out vibes that suggest that you will leave if they disagree. Some people do that and arent even aware that they are doing it. So it makes theyre partner feel like they have to agree or lose you.

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      • derpyderp
        9 years ago

        OK that's sort of normal then IMO.
        They're likely desperate to impress & think that agreeing with every word you say & never opposing you will help...

        Common misconception for young blokes.
        I've done similar before when I was younger & at the time you sometimes don't even realise you're doing it, you're just so infatuated.

        Did you ever tell either of them that you thought they were not being themselves?

        Obviously you want someone nice, who treats you like they did, but at the same time confident enough to have & voice their own views.

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