Is it normal that i have somewhat more than platonic feelings for my uncle?

67% Normal
4 Comments

I'm in my mid-late 20's and I have grown up without a father, I've also never even had a stepfather. My grandfather is around but I don't particularly care for his company. The only stable male presence I've had in my life is my aunt's husband. We live in the same city, so I see him quite often. We have many things in common and we enjoy each other's company. The thing is, sometimes I catch myself being attracted to him. I love to be around him. I get angry if he doesn't talk to me sometimes. I yearn for his attention all the time. He flirts with me sometimes and will cuddle with me. I really enjoy that. I date boys that look/act like him and hold them to his standard. However, I never date these boys for long. I have, only a few times, fantasized about he and I being together sexually. Another thing is that I'm always very attracted to olde men and I date older guys. Also, for the record, my uncle is not blood related to me. Any advice is welcome.

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 51 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • theabider
    11 years ago

    How much older than you is your Uncle? Is he married? Since he is not blood related, these become the primary concerns.
    But you know, I think you are normal, I grew up with a similar situation...not being close to my dad and all. And I have often fantasized about an Uncle, or and older male cousin at least holding me, telling me they wanted to keep me safe etc. When someone is in your family, it becomes easier to have them on your mind more, and associate them with love, protection, security, and maybe more. Just be careful.

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  • *~ThePurplePixie~*
    11 years ago

    Hello there,

    I'm sorry to hear about your lack of a father figure, it must be really tough - I can't even imagine.

    But, father or not - it seems rather normal to have attractions to uncles, cousins and sometimes, I should think, grandfathers!

    Sexual fantasies don't indicate any real desire, though - we can do anything with our minds and enjoy it!

    Your saying that your uncle isn't related by blood makes things even simpler! Although, having said that, relationships with blood uncles aren't actually classed as incest. It seems absolutely normal - I've crushed on my male cousins before!

    Perhaps the reason for this attraction may be down to several factors:
    ¤ No father figure
    ¤ A need for being close to an older man (as a father surrogate)
    ¤ A passionate love for him, maybe due to his kindness and love for you - this deep emotion might not be sexual, it almost seems like the feelings I have for my own dad.

    I hope this helps, feel free to ask any following questions, or give me a reply if you need a little more advice.

    Good luck, my friend!

    xx

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    • Spidergirl
      11 years ago

      Thank you for the kind words and advice. :)

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    11 years ago

    LOL@mid-late 20's. What's wrong with saying 29?

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