Is it normal that i have been learning empathy skills from the internet.

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14 Comments

I know I am not empathic. I try to be friendly though sometimes I do not understand why some things are mean. I do think some things most people consider mean need to be said to get people to think but I have learned sometimes people take constructive criticism too personal.

Through the internet I have been learning these things which helps me not be so offensive in real life but I do think it is unfortunate that so many people are easily offended because I do not like having to be careful with what I say.

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62% Normal
Based on 34 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You do not like having to be careful with what you say. Then accept that other people don't like to hear some things you say.

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  • thatchickyouhate
    10 years ago

    i am curious why you think it's your job to provide this constructive criticism to everyone? just because you have thoughts about someone or something, doesn't mean you have to share them all the time.

    sounds to me like your problem is more with boundaries and if you limited your thoughts to those who likely value your opinion, maybe your criticism would be received in a more positive light.

    unless you really are just an asshole who thinks everyone actually cares what you think, then never mind.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      For example often people will ask for an opinion only to not like it.

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      • thatchickyouhate
        10 years ago

        then I guess you have two choices:

        1) don't feel obligated to be careful with what you say, but understand you may offend people.

        2) try working on saying things differently so that you can still provide constructive criticism, that is actually constructive.

        if they continually ask for your opinion, knowing how you typically respond, then it's their own fault if they get upset. however, you could work on your approach if you're really all that concerned about how people take the things you say. especially if it's someone you actually care about.

        try this trick: say your third thought, not your first.

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  • gorillaphant
    10 years ago

    constructive criticism needs to be constructive, not just criticism. it is quite inconsiderate to offer a critique in only a negative voice. constructive criticism should not be used as a free ticket to being an arse.

    it sounds like you are offending people by not offering a positive spin on what you critique about them.

    and maybe you arent a very friendly person

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  • Johnnytherat
    10 years ago

    say what you mean & mean what you say. don't sugar-coat anything.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I think that's awesome, good for you.

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  • bananaface
    10 years ago

    Can you give some examples of things you say that offend people?

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  • DangerousPotatoGuy
    10 years ago

    I can relate with your story, and I found a way to get around it either by ignoring critising thoughts or talking less (this is harder)

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  • Shrunk
    10 years ago

    Heh, for me it's the opposite, well sortof, I've learned from the Internet the majority of people are too soft when it comes to certain topics, it's unfortunate that their emotions come before logic.. I've always put things delicately in real life, because that is just how people like to hear them. I say the truths online and people get way too upset sometimes ..

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      The internet has shown me how emotionally vunerable people can be. I do not understand why but from peoples reactions to things I say I learn to say things differently. I have learned that people are less likely to listen to what I have to say when I say certain things that I would never think would bother someone.

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      • Shrunk
        10 years ago

        at first it sounds nice of you to consider others' vulnerabilities, but then it seems like you're sort of manipulating them into listening to you, not saying it's a bad thing, just curious. if you really care about people's feelings, or you just use them to get the most out of someone. I don't know which one i do either. I mean, they say everyone is motivated by self-interest... i don't usually like to hurt others' feelings, but a lot of times that means holding back my true self and ideas.. like i'm lying or being fake. but sometimes that is the only way to get by in social settings.

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      • RomeoDeMontague
        10 years ago

        I am kind of like you. I think some people are just very emotional. Some people are a bit more level headed. To the people who are very emotional someone who isnt confuses them and they often reject that person. You cant make someone feel what you feel though and they should not be expected to. I have been interrogated for not crying at sad movies before. I was not sure how to handle it and the person told me I talk too much and that everything I said was irrelevant. Everyone else thought I was awful too but there is no way to change how you feel.

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        • Shrunk
          10 years ago

          lol you are one of the people i remember offending with my opinions though...

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